Sticks and Stones
by SomedayWe'llKnow
Summary: What if the one person who put all the pieces together was the one to tear it down again? i own no part of SON all credit goes to Mr Lynch
1. Chapter 1

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." Whoever came up with this saying was so full of shit. One well placed word can hurt more than any stick or stone on this planet. My one word was _hate_…what a powerful word that can tear you in half and make you feel like complete garbage. That one word was used in a phrase that many words can be substituted into, I hate you. It could have been "I love you" or "I want you", or even better "I need you". But no she chose to destroy me by saying "I hate you". I hear those words echo amongst my thoughts every day. I can't sleep anymore because I can still see her face and her tears and can still hear her voice telling me she hated me. She said it over a year ago, I should have moved on by now but I can't. She was my world, and my world hated me. I met her the summer between my sophomore and junior year of college…

"Ugh Becky I don't wanna go. This is going to be so stupid." I groan at my best friend as she continus to throw clothes at me.

"Spencer we are going to this party," she stops and stares at me, placing her hand on her hip, reminding me instantly of my mother, "here wear this blue top. It will bring out your eyes."

I roll my eyes at her and drag my feet into the bathroom. It's not that I don't like going out or partying but this was our third party in three straight days. Lately Becky has been on this kick that she'll meet the man of her dreams at one of these parties, I think she's full of shit. Becky is full of fairytales and happy endings. I know the truth; people are going to leave you no matter what happens. I rub my temples as I lean over the sink, when I look in the mirror I sigh at what I see. My blonde hair has natural highlights from constantly being outside and my pointed features give me an intense look. I'm what some would call attractive but I've never thought of myself that way. I sigh as I pull on the shirt Becky threw at me and step out of the bathroom.

"Damn that took long enough."

I roll my eyes at Becky's sarcastic comment. I'm used to them. Nothing touches me anyway, I don't feel the sting of people's words or looks anymore; I'm numb.

"What the fuck ever. Can we just go and get this over with?"

Becky just nods and leads the way to her car. I lock my apartment door behind me and walk slowly down to my best friend. I don't know why she's my best friend; a part of me thinks she hates me. I can tell she hates who I've become anyway. God even I hate who I've become but I can't stop being that person. It's like when you space out focusing on nothing really and you can't look away. Well that's kinda what my life is like, I can't change it or stop being numb. I stare out the window as Becky drives us to the party while her radio blares some stupid rap through the speakers. I don't even notice when the car stops. My head snaps up when I hear her voice,

"You coming or not?"

She's staring at me with a look somewhat between annoyed and confused. I take a deep breath as I nod silently at her and open the car door. She walks quickly and I have to jog to keep up with her. I hate being rushed and she knows this but doesn't slow her pace. We walk the three blocks to the house in silence. She's gotten used to my brooding silences over the past year. I feel my pulse starting to pick up as we get closer to the house that is pulsating to the music. I can't help the small smile that creeps on my face, I do enjoy a good party and this one looks killer. Becky stops at the door and turns to grin at me. I grin back as she opens the door and immediately I'm bombarded with the smell of alcohol and sweat. The bass from the music echoes through my body. Becky and I make our way through the mass of sweaty, sex driven adolescents to the kitchen where the booze is certainly held. I'm not disappointed when I reach the kitchen and find the counters lined with vodka, rum, tequila, and just about any other sort of alcohol imaginable. I fix myself a drink and notice that Becky has disappeared, which doesn't surprise me. I push my way through the throngs of people to find an empty space against a wall. I sip my drink as I lean against the wall watching the drunken people flailing around. My mind wanders to a year ago when I was happy and loved. I think of him and his smile. My thoughts are interrupted by a tall, muscular boy clearing his throat beside me.

"Hey baby."

I roll my eyes at his stupidity, clearly my body language reads fuck off but he doesn't take the hint.

"Can I get you a drink hot thang?"

Gross did he just call me "hot thang"? I lift my drink towards him indicating that I have one already but he still won't leave.

"Then how about a dance sexy?"

What is with this guy, I mean I haven't even said one word to him but he continues his pursuit. I snap my head in his direction ready to tell him to go fuck himself when I feel a soft hand grab my wrist. I whip my head toward the offending hand only to be met by a pair of soft lips. My eyes widen as said lips leave mine and I notice that the owner of these lips is a small, brunette girl.

"Oh hey baby I didn't mean to leave you alone for so long." She smiles sweetly at me and winks.

Oh she's trying to save me from this guy. Right play along Spencer.

"Uh…right no its ok…um glad you're back?" Awesome Carlin that was terrible. Now I wish they would both just leave me alone.

The guy is staring at us and looks to have what is drool running down his face.

"Sorry didn't know you were like…with someone but that was so hot. Do it again."

The brunette circles her arm around my waist and I can't help but squirm a little bit at the contact.

"Fuck off loser." She growls at him.

The guy slinks off with his tail tucked between his legs. Thankfully the brunette lets go of me and I take several steps back.

"Sorry I had to do that but you looked like you were going to kill him. I'm Ashley by the way." She sticks out her hand and smiles at me. I just stare at her hand and then nod at her. "Not much of a talker are you?" Why is she still talking to me? I just raise my eyebrow at her but instead of her getting pissed and leaving me in peace she leans against the wall unnaturally close to me. I stare at her with fascination. No one usually bothers me at these things. In fact people tend to naturally shy away from me. The brunette, excuse me Ashley, seems perfectly content to just bob her head to the music and stand next to me. What is her deal? I shake my head and down the rest of my drink. I push myself off the wall and start to make my way into the crowd to find Becky but Ashley steps in front of me.

"Where are you going?"

She smiles at me again and I don't understand how her face doesn't hurt from all the smiling she's done in the past five minutes. I finally take the time to really look at her and I notice she's probably my age, about four inches shorter than me, and has coffee colored eyes. She continues to look expectantly at me awaiting my answer. Fine I'll say something to her.

"Away."

She smiles softly at me almost like she knows something about me that I'm not aware of and walks in the other direction. What a weird fucking night. I shake my head and throw my body into the throng of people. I hope a night of boozing and dancing will make me forget the sparkle of his eyes and his charming smile…

Its morning and I'm mostly awake but I don't want to open my eyes. I roll from my side onto my stomach and release a giant sigh. I cautiously open my eyes, groaning in protest from the bright light of the already risen sun. I groan as I reach for me glasses on the bedside table. How I get home and ready for bed from these things I'll never know. I don't bother getting dressed for the day, I won't go into work. I roll my eyes as I enter my living room and see Becky passed out on my couch. I know the only thing that will get her to move her ass is a very large pot of coffee. My mind wanders as I fix the coffee and start breakfast. I know I shouldn't let myself but I start thinking about him again and the way it felt waking up in his arms. I smile as I think about his green eyes so full of life and wonder. He was the kindest person I've ever met and I had held his heart in the palm of my hand. I don't realize I'm crying until I see the drops hit the counter. I shake my head trying to rid myself of the images of his smile, his eyes but it doesn't work and I feel my chest tightening. It's a familiar pain, one I've felt every day for the past several months. I feel Becky grab me by the shoulders and turn me around. I allow her strong arms to envelope me and I silently cry into her shoulder.


	2. Chapter 2

**I own no part of SON **_please be patient with me this is my first fanfic and I'm posting as it gets done so there might be large gaps in between postings. Also I leave for a vacation tomorrow so in a week I should be back to write more. Thanks all those who read and review. _

**SoNFANFOREVER****:** Thank you for the review!

**Naranga87:** It is a little confusing sorry about that, she meets the one dubbed "her world" after the boy she is talking about. The beginning of the story is present day and then it jumps back in time. I know that might confuse you even more but it's the best I can do without giving anything away. Thanks for the review!

Becky didn't ask any questions when she had held me this morning in my small, fluorescent kitchen. She didn't ask any questions when I left without a word and made my way to the familiar florist booth two blocks away from my apartment. I'm walking alone now through the streets of this small Ohioan town fighting back hot tears. The white roses in my hand feel like they weigh a thousand pounds as I walk the well-known route to the small cemetery on the edge of town. The closer I get to the cemetery gates the tighter my chest gets and I feel like I'm about to pass out. This happens every time I come here, which is once a week. I place my hand on the cold metal of the gate and walk the narrow path further into what I consider the most depressing place on Earth. I don't even glance at the other granite stones as I walk to the back of the gated area to where I know he lays. Any resolve I might have crumbles when I see his name printed on the cold stone. I collapse in front of his grave and allow the emotions to overtake me, with each passing second the pain increases. After 10 minutes I feel like I can breathe again. I wipe his stone clean and lay the roses down on the ground.

"Hey baby. I miss you so much that it hurts me."

I kiss his tombstone and lay down in the grass next to where he is buried. The sky is bright blue today with sunshine and big, puffy white clouds. Its days like these that I can hear his laughter and see his smile, the boy I love, and the boy I had promised everything to.

"I'll love you forever." I whisper into the clear sky.

I stand and start making the trek back to my empty, lonely apartment. As I exit the cemetery I pass Mr. Jenkins whose wife passed away three months ago. He gives me a small nod of recognition and I return the gesture. I feel the overwhelming anger and hurt wash over me as I continue walking. Why me, am I being punished? I practically growl as I open my apartment door, ready to go back to bed but my eyes widen when I see boxes strewn about the apartment.

"What is this shit?" I mutter under my breath as I kick boxes out of the way. I roll my eyes as Becky struts into my living room.

"Spence, I've had enough."

"Becks enough of what and why are these fucking boxes all over my damn apartment?"

I'm growing increasingly pissed off and she picked the wrong day to do this shit to me.

"Spence he died five months ago and you haven't started looking for a roommate, haven't even taken his toothbrush out of the bathroom. You don't even eat every day. I'm moving in to help you."

I clench my jaw and try to remind myself that she's the only real friend I have.

"Becky I don't need your help. I'm fine."

She only steps closer to me and raises her voice,

"No Spencer you are not 'fine'. All you can say is you're 'fine' but that's fucking bullshit and you know it. Don't treat me like I'm stupid and I'm moving in with you and that's final!"

Just to make her point come across even stronger she shoves me down on the couch and stomps off to my spare bedroom, which I guess she has claimed as hers. I sit on my couch with wide eyes and my mouth hanging open. It takes me several minutes to regain my composure but when I do I realize what I have to do. I sigh and push myself off the couch to make my way to Becky's new room. I knock when I reached the closed door.

"What?" is the only reply I get.

"Becks I'm sorry ok? Today has been hard and I-I just miss him…" I trail off as even more tears start to fall. She opens the door with a look of sympathy fixed on her face.

"Hey, I'm not saying you have to move on right now but you need to start living your life again. He wouldn't want you to give up."

I nod at her as she wipes away my tears and pulls me into a hug.

"Thank you." I whisper against her shoulder.

"Anytime, I'm here for you whether you like it or not."

I pull back and walk into my room, shutting the down behind me. Becky has made me feel better for now but we both know its nothing permanent. In fact I already feel like I always do, numb. I close my eyes and try to picture his face but I'm only met with darkness as I drift into sleep.

"Spence, pssst, Spencer! Wake up!" I groan as someone shakes me out of a dreamless slumber. I never dream anymore, not since he died.

"Wwhat?"

"Unless you wanna cook we should go eat now, its six." With that said Becky leaves me in my room to try and wake up. I rub the sleep out of my eyes and wait for my contacts to readjust. I get out of bed and pull a beater over my head, while slipping on a faded pair of jeans. When I walk out to the living room Becky is already waiting by the door tapping her foot. I roll my eyes at her, she's incredibly impatient. I grab some cash off the counter and slip into flip-flops.

"Let's go."

She instantly goes out the door and down the street towards what appears to be a small diner. I'm not picky and I know I won't eat much anyway. We walk in silence again and I wish I could break out of this trance and just be with my best friend like I used to. I can see how much I'm holding her back and I don't like. Its not like I mean to, I've given her every reason and opportunity to leave me but she sticks to me like glue. We walk into the quaint diner and seat ourselves in a booth in the corner. We look over our menus not talking but it's not like either of us expect good conversation. I'm brought out of my browsing by an all too familiar voice.

"Hello my name is Ashley and I'll be helping you tonight."

You've got to be shitting me? I stare up at the brunette from the party with wide eyes. She grins recklessly back at me, all the while Becky of course is clueless.

"I'll have a burger and fries with a coke." Becky passes her menu to Ashley and starts texting on her phone.

"And what about you?" Ashley rasps out at me. She smirks as I try and regain composure.

"Uh garden um salad, ranch dressing."

I can't believe she's here. Who is this girl really? She smiles sweetly at me and leaves our table.

"Becks?"

"Yeah?" She glances up briefly from her phone.

"Do you know who that girl is?" I point over to where Ashley is now taking orders.

Becky follows my hand and spots the brunette. I see her scan the girl and then bring her gaze back to me.

"Uh yeah actually," she takes a drink of water, "she was at the party last night. Apparently she's new here. Something about drugs maybe, oh wait not that's someone else. But yeah she like just moved here from L.A. I guess. But I haven't really talked to her. Why?" Becky looks at me again and this time there's curiosity behind her stare.

"Oh no reason really," I avoid making eye contact with the girl across from me.

As the meal progresses Ashley visits our table several times and each time she holds my stare for longer then necessary. I can't help but be curious about her, I mean she did kiss me at that party and she seems to not be cautious around me like everyone else. Becky breaks me out of my thoughts as we leave our tip after paying the bill,

"Spence, our waitress has been eye fucking you all night." She grins at me like I should think it's cool.

"Shut up Becks." I grumble under my breath as I try to make my way out of the diner before Ashley stops me. I grasp the door handle and push but someone pulls me back in the diner.

"Hey can I talk to you?"

I lift my gaze and am met by those coffee colored eyes from last night. I nod at Becks signaling for her to wait outside for me.

"Uh what?"

I really don't want anything to do with the mysterious girl in front of me right now.

"You want to hang out sometime maybe, I mean I totally understand if you're busy."

Ashley shifts nervously from one foot to another while biting her bottom lip. I stare at her with confusion. She's the strangest person I've ever met.

"I don't think so."

With my reply she lets her head hang and takes a step back.

"Right, well um maybe see you around?"

What is with this girl and why the fuck is she so intent on hanging out with me?

"Whatever."

I brush past her and meet Becky who's standing outside smoking.

"That waitress was weird." I breathe out.

She meets my gaze guiltily.

"Spence I might have maybe told her you were interested."

She flinches right as she finishes speaking knowing I'm going to be pissed. I don't bother to try and hide the anger that flashes through my eyes.

"Becky what the fuck? You have no right messing with my personal life. You of all people know better."

I don't care that I just screamed at her in the middle of the street. I knock her shoulder as I brush past. I spend the rest of the night in my room crying and trying to drink away the pain of him being gone.

**Well that's it for a while. I don't know if I liked how this turned out but I just went with it. Let me know what you think. Be back in a week.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Once again I own nothing related to SON**

**SoNFANFOREVER****: ** once again thank you so much for the positive reviews. And my vacation was wonderful thanks for the good wishes before I left.

**XxXnotXintoXlabelsXxX****: **thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying this story.

**niecyx3****: **Thanks for the review! You're awesome

All I can think about, on my walk home, is how bad my head is pounding. I've just gotten done working an eight hour shift at the local bank. I hate, no, loathe that job but it pays the bills. Who am I kidding I barely have any bills that my parents' life insurance doesn't pay for. They died in a car crash when I was a sophomore in high school. The one person who got me through it all was Aiden. My big brother was away at school when it happened. It was the first time I'd ever seen him cry, Glen my protector was never the same after they were gone. I shake my head trying to rid myself of the negative thoughts. But I know if they aren't about my parents they are about him, Aiden, my dead boyfriend; the dead boy who still holds my heart. I stop in my tracks as I hear a yell pierce the evening.

"HELP ME!"

My eyes widen and my heart rate picks up. Crap I have to help whoever is yelling. I pull the pepper spray out of my bag and jog towards the source of the noise. Oh please let there only be one bad guy. I tip toe up to the alleyway across the street and peek around the corner.

"Please you don't have to do this."

Ok female victim, got it. She sounds scared shitless, I mean even I'm scared shitless.

"You know you want it." A gruff voice invades my ears. I hear a zipper being pulled down. Oh hell no this guy is not getting away with raping some poor girl. I start sneaking up behind the, oh god he's a giant, man. The girl spots me and looks at me with pleading eyes. I tell her to stay quiet by putting my fingers up to my lips.

"I knew you wanted it now you're all quiet."

"Oh big boy you're about to get a lot more than you asked for." Her voice stops me in my tracks. I know that voice.

He laughs at her and that's when I tap his shoulder. As he spins around to face me, I spray him right in the eyes.

"Fuck!" he bends down and screams in pain, I kick him in the balls, just for good measure.

"Run!" I grab her by the hand and take off towards my apartment.

Once we've run about five blocks I stop and bend over, trying to catch my breath.

"Thank you." She's looking at me with tears in her eyes and I can tell she's still scared. This time I don't want to feel anything but I feel a slight pang of sympathy.

"You're welcome." It comes out as a whisper because I'm so startled by the presence of a real emotion within me in over five months. I'm so shocked by my own feelings that it takes me several moments to notice she has tears streaming down her face.

"Oh shit don't cry," what do I do? Hug her awkwardly? No that's wrong…eh crap. I very strangely and reluctantly gather her up in my arms. She starts to sob harder and flings her arms around my neck. Oh this is strange and I don't think I like this very much. I use both my hands and push her off me.

"You uh feel better?"

She's looking at me with such sad eyes I almost feel like I'm looking in a mirror.

"Again thank you for saving me."

Her voice is even rougher than usual and it comes out barely above a whisper. The awkward silence that is forming is going to drive me crazy and I like silence, no I love silence but this is too weird, so I have to break it.

"You ok to go home?"

As soon as the question leaves my mouth her eyes widen in fear.

"Please don't make me walk alone, please please."

Great now she's crying again and that stupid pang of sympathy is back. I like feeling numb better then this shit. So my mouth answers before I've thought this whole thing out.

"Wanna come to my place?"

What the flying fuck was that? No way did I just ask her that? But she lights up like a fat kid at a candy store and nods her head eagerly. Crap what am I getting myself into?

Well this is weird. Ashley is currently sitting on my couch, holding a full glass of water and I'm leaning against my kitchen counter staring at her. She hasn't moved now in over 15 minutes. If she wasn't blinking I'd think she was dead. I cringe as I hear a key in the door and Becky comes strolling through.

"Dude this bitch today on the street she wa…oh hello. Do I know you from somewhere?"

I roll my eyes at my best friend. She can't even remember Ashley from the diner. Ashley stands up and faces Becky.

"Yeah I'm Ashley." They shake hands in front of my and I feel the sudden need for a drink, "I served you guys at the diner the other night."

I watch the realization dawn on Becky's face and then her eyes dart back and forth between the two of us.

"Wait so Spence invited _you_ here to _her_ apartment?"

Becky looks like Christmas has come early and Ashley looks completely confused. Oh this sucks so bad.  
"Listen Becks she needed a place to uh calm her jitters so I let her come here and now she's leaving, so chill."

Becky frowns at me and Ashley looks like I just slapped her.

"Yeah I'm fine now, no big deal! I'll just leave!"

She gathers her jacket off my couch and stomps out the door, slamming it on the way out. Me, being the inconsiderate jackass that I am, just stand there and watch her go. I can feel Becky's eyes on me as I start to make dinner.

"Dude what the hell was that? And why was she here to begin with?"

I stop chopping the onion that was going into dinner and take a deep breath.

"I was walking home earlier today when I heard some girl being attacked."

"Fuck dude."

"Yes I know Becky. Well turns out the girl was Ashley and I helped her get away from the guy and then let her come back here and get her shit together."

I watch as Becky shakes her head at me and grabs a beer out of the fridge.

"Spencer, my dear friend, stop being an asshole to that poor girl. She doesn't know that there's a lot of shit wrong with you. It's perfectly fine for you to treat me like shit but I won't let you do it to other people."

All I can do is stand there with my mouth hanging open as Becky lays into me and then goes to her room. Why am I such a bitch to this girl? I think I know the answer; she can make me feel alive by just being near her. What if I get attached to her and she leaves? People are always leaving me: my parents, Aiden, even my brother doesn't talk to me anymore, just a card on holidays. I'm so lost in my thoughts I forget about dinner and its burning. Shit what a bad day.

"Spencer did you burn dinner again?"

Becky's smirking at me from the hallway. Is she bi-polar today or what?

"Yeah."

I let myself slide down the fridge and onto the kitchen floor. I am experiencing the weirdest thing ever. I feel guilty, yes I said _feel_. Again this mysterious brunette is making me feel things again. Becky must sense my inner turmoil because she sits next to me and breaks my concentration.

"You could just go apologize to her."

"Fuck is that how I make this terrible feeling go away?"

Becky is slow to hide the surprise on her face from my words. She gives a quiet laugh and nods her head.

Now I'm standing in front of Ashley's apartment and I'm seriously considering turning around. But my hand rises up and comes down on the door. I'll give her one knock and then if she doesn't answer, I'm fucking out of here.

"Coming! Hold on!"

I cringe when I hear her voice from inside. She opens the door smiling but her face falls when she sees me. I swallow the newly formed, and foreign, lump in my throat.

"Hey Ashley. Can I uh talk to you?"

**This chapter feels weird to me. Let me know what you think and thanks for reviewing and reading.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Again I own no part of SON**

**SoNFANFOREVER****: **You rock. Seriously you are amazing. Thank you so much for your consistent reviews. Oh and don't worry it gets covered in this chapter how Spence knew where Ash lived. Thanks again!!!

**Coachkimm****: **Thank you for the wonderful review!

**idrinktogetdrunk****:** haha why thank you! By the way love the name. I drink to get drunk too!!

**snowdrop1026****: **Thanks for reviewing

"_Hey Ashley. Can I uh talk to you?"_

She isn't answering me just standing there glaring at me. I fidget under her intense gaze. After several moments of her looking extremely pissed she sighs and steps aside, letting me into her apartment. It's a small space and is cluttered with musical instruments and pages of sheet music everywhere. I turn and face Ashley. I go to open my mouth but she beats me to it.

"How'd you find me?"

"I got your address from your boss down at the diner."

"Great. Now what do you want?"

She isn't bothering to hide her contempt for my presence from me. This is so much harder then I anticipated. Why oh why do I have to feel like I need to apologize to this girl?

"Well I wa-"

"Wait I don't even know your name."

"Oh right um I'm Spencer Carlin."

I stick my hand out to shake hers but the gesture is not returned. So here I am holding my hand out in the open space like a moron. When I realize this I quickly pull my hand back down by my side. She raises her eyebrow at me and looks like she is waiting for me to continue.

"I wanted to come by and say sorry for being a bitch."

It comes out all mumbled and soft but I can tell she hears me because a smirk finds its way on her face. I feel my face flush red for the first time in a very long time. Why does this girl hold so much power over me? She stares at me with curiosity as I shift uncomfortably from one foot to another. Since she's not answering can I leave? She must be able to tell I'm thinking about fleeing because she smiles at me softly and starts to speak.

"Ok apology accepted. Why have you been acting like this?"

Wow no one has ever asked me out right why I'm such a bitch. Do I tell her the truth or lie or just leave? I did what I came here to do right, so I can leave right?

"Ok fine Spencer Carlin don't tell me but you and me," she points from her to me, "we are going to end up being really good friends. I can just feel it."

I must look absolutely shocked because she laughs openly at me, throwing her head back. I recover and find my voice.

"Can I be completely honest with you?"

She seems pleased with me finally really speaking to her.

"Sure I'm pretty confident I can handle it."

And for some reason I don't doubt that she can handle just about anything.

"I don't really do friends or relationships. Becky only sticks around because I've known her so long and she's been through all my shit with me. Also you are without a doubt the strangest person I've ever met."

With my last comment a full blown grin finds its way on her face and her eyes seem to sparkle.

"I think you'll end up finding me irresistible Ms. Carlin." My mouth drops open, "Now if you excuse me I have to go to bed it's late and I work early in the morning. You should stop by the diner and have lunch or something on me."

She gently pushes me out of her apartment. I can't seem to move still too shocked to function.

"G'night Spencer Carlin."

With that she closes the door and I'm left alone out in the hallway. What an unusual girl that is. I shake my head and start to walk home when all of a sudden it hits me. I haven't thought about Aiden all night. A new type of guilt washes over my body as I start to cry. I'm still crying, no practically sobbing, as I open the door my apartment.

"Whoa did it go that bad?"

Becky shoots up off the couch and catches me just as I about collapse onto the floor.

"No *sniff* it went *sniff* really well *sniff* actually."

I can't stop crying and the ache in my chest is the worst it has been in several weeks. Becky strokes my hair and laughs lightly.

"Sweetie then why are you crying so hard?"

"I didn't even think of him all day! I can't remember the exact color of his eyes anymore!"

This realization hurts more then I thought possible and sobs rack my body once again. I gently push Becky off me and drag me feet to my door, closing it behind me. Becks knows to leave me alone when I close my door. I collapse down on my bed and try to even out my breathing. I close my eyes and rack my brain for the memory of his face. I start tearing up again when it comes out all blurry and barely recognizable. I jump off the bed and dig up the only picture of him I ending up keeping. The picture is of the two of us at his birthday party. He had wiped cake on my face and in the picture I'm glaring up at him and he's laughing into the camera. I smile through my tears as I continue to stare at his beautiful face.

"God I miss you."

I kiss the photo and place it back in my desk. As I lie back down the ever looming numbness starts to creep in on me and I don't bother trying to fight it or the darkness as I'm surrounded. Before it completely encompasses me there's a soft knock on my door.

"Spence? Listen your brother called earlier looking for you. He wants you to call him back. The number is on the fridge. I'm going out for food I'll be back later, so don't worry."

My eyes widen and I sit up straight in bed. Glen called and wants to talk to me? I scramble off the bed and pull my straight, blonde hair into a pony tail. When I get to the kitchen Becky is already gone and that's fine, I don't want her around while I talk to my brother. I quickly dial the number on the fridge and hold my breath as the phone rings. I haven't actually spoken to Glen in two years. I almost burst into tears when I hear him answer the phone

"Spence? Is that you?"

**It is a little short but I didn't want to go into the whole Glen thing in this chapter. But the next one should be done soon. Thanks for the reviews, keep it up!!!**


	5. Chapter 5

**I own no part of SON**

**RUlov3r****: **thank you very much! I love Ashley too.

**SoNFANFOREVER****: **I'm glad you like Ash in this story. I wanted to reverse the typical roles of the two girls. I like a strong, confident Ashley.

**Coachkimm****: **Yes I am sorry for cutting it off like that. I hope you like this update.

**idrinktogetdrunk****: **Here you go! I really really hope you enjoy this chapter.

"_Spence? Is that you?"_

It is the first time I've heard his voice in two years. The tears I've been holding in spill over and a sob breaks through my chest.

"Spencer. Oh Spencer please don't cry. Listen I'm right here."

He keeps talking trying to get me to calm down and when I finally do a million and one questions are running through my head.

"Glen where, why, what?"

"Spence do you know what tomorrow is?"

I feel a sudden wave of anger flash through me. Does he think I'm incompetent? Of course I know what tomorrow is.

"Yes Glen I know what tomorrow is. It's the anniversary of mom and dad's death."

"Right um listen I'm in town-"

"WHAT? YOU"RE IN TOWN AND YOU HAVEN'T CALLED ME SOONER?" I finally snap on him but manage to finish with a calmer voice, "how long have you been back Glen?"

I hear him take a deep breath on the other end of the line.

"I've been here three months."

My jaw clenches and my whole body starts to shake.

"What do you want Glen?"

My words are cold and harsh, no more happy tears running down my face.

"Meet me at mom and dad's grave site tomorrow? Please Spence."

The absolute desperation in his voice causes me to give in to his pleading.

"Fine I'll see you tomorrow at 11."

With that I hang up. I sit awake all night wondering what Glen wants, what he looks like, is he nervous about seeing me too?

The snow falls in big, fat flakes as I make the walk to the cemetery where both my parents and the love of my life are buried. I pull my coat tighter around my body as the wind howls among the cold stones of the cemetery. I spot a lone figure hovering above my parent's graves. The wind is blowing the person's scarf behind them and the strong scent of expensive cologne hits my nostrils. I'm standing an arms length behind my brother; two years of almost absolute silence and now here I stand within a foot of him.

"G-Glen?"

My voice betrays me and the tears fall as he turns around to face me. He looks so much older then I remember. At 25 there are already signs of wrinkles on his once boyish face. His curly blonde hair is kept neater then I ever saw it in our youth. The only thing on him that is the same are his eyes, his eyes that are the same clear, crystal blue as my own. The anguish on his face matches my own I'm sure and I see regret in his sad eyes.

"Oh Spencer."

His big, strong arms envelope me and I let myself fall into him. I'm not sobbing like I thought I would, there are just silent tears running down my face. After several minutes of embracing one another we pull apart and there are actual smiles on our faces, despite our place of gathering.

"Oh Spence you don't know how good it is to see you."

"Same to you big brother, same to you."

He grabs my hand and faces the graves of our parents.

"Doesn't feel like they've been gone five years, it feels like yesterday they were grounding my ass for scaring you."

He chuckles at himself and seems to be lost in a world of memories. I grab his hand and squeeze tightly letting him know I'm here. This feels so surreal to me, seeing my brother and being the one comforting someone else. I feel everything in this moment, pain, love for the man next to me, anger at whatever force took my parents, and an overwhelming sense of grief. It's too much for my normally numb body and I turn to walk away but Glen grabs my wrist.

"Spence where are you going?"

"Come on Glen let's go get some coffee and find a place to talk. You have a lot of explaining to do."

We walk with linked arms to the diner where I know Ashley is working. Why I decide we need to go there I'm not really sure. Perhaps it's because I feel warm around the brunette or maybe it's because she's the first person I've felt a connection to in a really long time.

I can't help but scan the room for her as soon as we enter the small diner. I spot her conversing with an old couple at their table and she looks so happy, so free and I envy her. She seems to feel my gaze on her and looks up, meeting my stare. A grin appears on her face and she excuses herself from the previous conversation.

"Spencer! Hey I'm glad you stopped by. You need a table for two?"

"Yes thank you."

She leads Glen and me to a booth in the back. She pours our coffee and leaves us to talk. She must be able to sense the tension between us because she stays away from the table even though I can tell she wants to stay.

"You better start talking Glen because you owe me some serious answers."

He runs a hand through his hair and takes a deep breath.

"Listen I regret a lot of things Spence, mainly running like I did when mom and dad died. But you know I can't take that back, wish I could, but I can't. I knew though that you were in good hands, you had Aiden," I take a sharp breath at the mention of his name, "I don't think I need to go into all the details of what I did when I left but I was a bad person. Plain and simple."

I stare at him long and hard watching him shift under my gaze.

"But Glen I _needed_ you. Did that mean nothing? Not only did I lose a mother and a father, I lost my brother too."

"I know and like I say I'm sorry."

"Sorry? You're _sorry?_ Wow Glen that makes everything SO much better. How dare you come here and throw 'I'm sorry' in my face. That means nothing to me. You have no idea what I've been through these past few years, especially this year. You don't even call, just a card on my birthday. What kind of bullshit is that?"

I don't care that my voice is getting louder and that I may be causing a scene he needs to know how bad I hurt since he's left. I feel several pairs of eyes staring at us but one pair burns me. I lift my head up and meet the intense gaze of Ashley. She looks about two seconds away from coming over here and pounding Glen.

"Spencer you're not going to like what I have to say next."

My heart starts pounding and I brace myself for his next words.

"I'm back to fix what has been broken well and because I'm getting married. I wanted you to be a part of this; I want to be a family again."

"What?"

I grind my teeth and feel my blood boil.

"Spencer please-"

"Shut up, just shut the fuck up. You go off and find yourself your happy ever after leaving me here to rot. It's a little late to be a 'family' again. How long have you been with this woman?"

"Three years Spence."

I shudder at his words.

"Fuck you."

"Spencer come on it's not like you're alone, you have Aiden."

I feel tears coming on and I try my hardest to blink them back.

"He's gone you asshole."

"What? He left you?"

For a moment I catch a glimpse of the protective brother he used to be.

"No, he died about six months ago."

That simple statement causes hot, tears to fall down my face.

"Spence I don't even know what to say…"

He trails off and looks away from me. I quickly wipe the tears away and clear my throat.

"I want nothing to do with you, your wedding, or anything else pertaining to your life."

"Please Spencer don't do this."

I know I should feel bad as tears start to stream down his face but once again I feel nothing. I stand up from the table, throwing down some money.

"Goodbye for good Glen. Enjoy your fucking fairytale life you asshole."

I don't run or even walk quickly out of the diner but I do pass Ashley as I leave. I swear I feel her brush her hand against mine but I might be imagining things. She looks at me with apologetic eyes and I hate it.

I dream for the first time in a long time that night. The dreams are filled with memories of me and Glen as young kids. I wake up crying, unable to sleep the rest of the night.

**I hope you all enjoy this and the next chapter will be more Spashley I promise. Thank you to you all for the reviews!!!**


	6. Chapter 6

**I own no part of SON. I got another chapter done today because I was snowed in. I hate this weather!**

**Neverwithdraw****: **Thank you for your enthusiastic review!

**thefrick****: **Hahahaha your review made me laugh out loud! I may be interested in that cookie bribe…and we will find out more about Glen's mystery fiancée later.

**Coachkimm****: **Thanks for the review! And I agree with the classification of Glen as a d-bag.

**SoNFANFOREVER****: **As always thank you thank you. You are wonderful and _hunk dory_! Really?? I love it.

I've spent the last three days locked in the apartment wallowing in my own self pity. Sounds pathetic I know but once that first emotion trickled through the walls I'd built around myself the rest shattered any defenses I had. The meeting with my brother has left me in shambles. I feel betrayed. Becky called into the bank and told them I was sick. Which is exactly a lie, I feel sick with anger and sadness. She tries to lighten the mood saying my bad moods have caused this snow in the middle of June. I never laugh or even smile. I can't remember the last time I ate or slept, I just sit on the couch staring at the blank TV screen. Becks has tried to get out of me what happened but I never answer her probing questions.

I'm standing in our living room looking out the window, probably five or so days after talking to me brother, when Becky approaches me.

"Listen Spencer I've invited some friends over so you need to go clean up and make yourself presentable. I want you to hang out with all of us."

I look myself up and down, noting the clothes I haven't changed out of in days and my grease streaked hair.

"What I'm not presentable enough for you?"

I throw every bit of sarcasm I have at her but she simply rolls her eyes.

"If you don't go shower and change yourself, I'll do it for you."

She takes a menacing step toward me and I flirt with the idea of challenging her but decide against it.

"Whatever."

I mumble under my breath and make a huge show of getting ready to shower.

As I stand under the hot spray of the shower water I allow tears I didn't realize I was fighting to flow freely down my face. After I'm done showering I towel dry my hair, deciding to leave it down and wet, and get dressed. I dress in a pair of faded blue jeans and my favorite blue hoodie. As I'm maneuvering my feet into my slippers I hear several voices floating around the apartment.

I step out of my room and instantly recognize a grinning Ashley holding a bottle of wine with two other girls by her side. I stand in my doorway just watching Ashley, Becky, and the other two girls simply laughing with one another. I can't help the small smile that creeps onto my face.

"Hiya stranger."

Ashley hands me a glass of wine and grins at me. I give her a nod of my head and take a sip of wine, ooo it's some good wine.

"Who are your friends?"

I told Becks I would play nice and I feel calm around this girl.

"Oh the short one practically bouncing off the walls is my little step sister, Kyla, and the Latina with all the piercings is my best friend, Madison."

I watch her as she gazes lovingly after the other two girls. For the first time I notice how attractive she must be to the outside world but all that matters to me is the aura she exudes. I surprise her and myself by grabbing her hand.

"Shall we join them?"

She looks back at me with sparkling eyes and smiles.

"Yes I really want them to meet you."

I allow myself to be led to her friend and step sister but can't help but wonder why she seems to care so much about me.

"Kyla, Madison, I want you to meet my friend Spencer."

I'm so busy trying to remember the last time anyone called me their friend that I'm taken by complete surprise when the smaller girl, Kyla, wraps her arms around me. I look at Ashley with pleading eyes but she's just biting her lip trying really hard not to laugh out loud.

"Kyla get off her crazy, can't you see she's not cool with you groping her."

Madison pries Kyla's arms off of me and sticks out her hand which I shake eagerly, afraid the little one will jump me at any second.

"Nice to meet you both."

Ashley chuckles next to me and I wonder when she came to stand so close to me? I turn and scowl at her, taking a long swig of wine. After several hours of laughing and exchanging stories, which I didn't really participate, I find myself out on our balcony. I hear the door open behind me and watch Ashley close it behind her.

"Hey."

Her voice is raspier then normal due to her slightly intoxicated state. The wind blows a cool breeze across my alcohol flushed cheeks. The winter like weather has suddenly disappeared and summer is almost back to normal.

"Hi."

I smile at the brunette who is standing very close to me.

"Spencer what are you doing out here?"

Her tone indicates nothing but pure curiosity. The alcohol has me more willing to indulge her in information I would normally keep to myself.

"Thinking about my boyfriend."

Her face drops and she takes a step away from me. I immediately notice just how warm her body was next to mine.

"Oh you have a boyfriend? Do you love him?"

"Yes I do, very much so."

The normal tears I know I would be shedding don't fall. I smile a soft smile and feel nothing but peace within me, which I know is all due to the alcohol pumping through my body.

"Why isn't he here tonight?"

"He died. Six months ago."

It is strange how common is has become to say something like that. Wait am I telling her too much? Am I putting too much trust in a girl I barely know? What the hell am I doing? Ashley instantly steps back to her previous position.

"Oh God Spencer I am so sorry. If you don't mind can I ask you how it happened?"

I lift my head and stare into her chocolate eyes, chocolate eyes that are full of sympathy and sadness. Perhaps she knows what it feels like to lose someone?

"Aiden and I went to the same college. We were in the library one afternoon when someone brought a gun. I held him as he stopped breathing. There was blood everywhere. It-it was so terrible."

Now the tears have come as I recall the moment I've tried so hard to block from my mind. I feel Ashley slip her arms around me and I cry quietly into her shoulder. She whispers comforting words into my hair and rubs my back. This feels very different from whenever Becky hugs me but I don't understand why. I pull back but Ashley keeps her hold on me.

"Hey? Feeling better?"

More tears fall down my face but she is quick to wipe them away.

"Thank you."

She smiles at me.  
"Hey it's the least I can do after you saved my life and everything."

I give a soft laugh and she gives me a full blown grin.

"Come on Spencer let's join everybody else."

I allow her to gently push me back into the apartment. The first thing I notice are Kyla and Madison dancing together very closely and Becky rummaging in the fridge for more booze. Ashley giggles at her friends and decides to join them. I think I'll pass and see what Becks is up to.

"Becks what you looking for?"

"Spence where's my damn tequila?"

"In the freezer dude, where you left it last time."

Becky pulls herself out of the fridge and looks at me sheepishly.

"Ha right." She pulls it out and starts making margaritas. "So what'd you and Ashley talk about out there?"

"Oh stuff. You know."

I don't want to tell Becky that I accidentally spilled my guts to the mystifying brunette. I smile for the thousandth time tonight as I watch the two sisters dance with the Latina. Ashley's eyes twinkle and her auburn curls bounce as she dances.

"You know she looks at you like the sun shines out of your ass."

I turn to Becky, tearing my gaze away from the dancing spectacle going on in our living room.

"No, Becks she's just trying to be a friend to me."

The idea of anyone wanting such a broken, pathetic person like me is just ridiculous.

"Right Spence."

Becky shakes her head and takes drinks to the other girls

Lying in bed that night my mind wanders to the brunette and I can't help but wonder what she really wants with me. Maybe, just maybe I've found myself someone I can count on but I don't want to get my hopes up. I drift to sleep with a faint smile gracing my features and the hope that things are starting to get better.

**There some real Spashley time and some Aiden mystery revealed! Hope you enjoyed it and thanks for the reviews!**


	7. Chapter 7

**I own no part of SON**

**I wanted to give you another chapter yesterday but it was a bad day. We had to put our long time family dog to sleep so I was in no mood to do anything. But here ya go get ready for some serious Spashley!**

**idrinktogetdrunk****: **Thanks for reviewing again! I think you'll like this one.

**SoNFANFOREVER****: **Yeah Spencer needed the breakdown and now maybe she's bouncing back? Who knows? That's a lie I do but I can't just come right out and tell you! Enjoy this one!

I'm up at sunset making coffee and humming softly to myself. I can't remember the last time I felt this upbeat. It's not exactly happy but I don't see the dark clouds of despair in the distance. I pull my robe closer around my body as I sit on the couch and sip my coffee. Today feels like a day that I should do something I never would normally do. Immediately my thoughts drift to intriguing brunette with chocolate eyes. I wonder what she's up to today. I vaguely remember her telling me that Sundays were her days off. I'm flirting with the idea of just dropping by her apartment when Becky comes shuffling into the room.

"G'morning sunshine."

She jumps slightly at the sound of my voice causing me to chuckle lightly. Oh yes today feels like a good one.

"Jesus Spence what the hell are you doing up already?"

I smile at her disheveled appearance. Her normally perfect make-up is smudged on her face and her usually straight dirty, blonde hair is wavy and wild. She must have had fun with our guests last night.

"I made us coffee."

Tears start to appear in her green eyes and I wonder what I've done wrong.

"Becks what's wrong?"

She throws herself on me and squeezes me to the point where I can't really breathe.

"I haven't seen you act like a normal human being in so long it's nice to really see you again."

She gives me a kiss on the cheek and goes to get herself coffee. I can't help but feel guilty for how I've been acting. I really have had no idea how bad Becky has been suffering because of me. I really do love her but I haven't acted like it these past few months. I have to promise myself to try and be better, for Becky and myself. I hop off the couch and, with a slight bounce in my step, walk to my room to get ready for the day. For the first time I can remember I turn on my radio while I get dressed. I instantly recognize The Fray but I don't know the name of the song.

There now, steady love, so few come and don't go  
Will you won't you, be the one I'll always know  
When I'm losing my control, the city spins around  
You're the only one who knows, you slow it down

Oh, oh  
Be my baby  
Ohhhhhh  
Oh, oh  
Be my Baby  
I'll look after you  
And I'll look after you

If ever there was a doubt  
My love she leans into me  
This most assuredly counts  
She says most assuredly

Oh, oh  
Be my baby  
I'll look after you  
After You  
Oh, oh  
Be my baby  
Ohhhhh

It's always have and never hold  
You've begun to feel like home  
What's mine is yours to leave or take  
What's mine is yours to make your own

Oh, oh  
Be my baby  
Ohhhhh  
Oh, oh  
Be my baby  
I'll look after you

You are so beautiful to me

I hum the song I heard earlier the entire walk to her apartment, something about the song staying with me. I start losing some of my confidence the closer I get to her apartment. My hands are sweating as I rub them together in front of her door. Whew I can't even remember the last time I initiated activity with anyone. Suck it up Spencer you might never feel this good again. I need to take advantage of my brighter then normal mood. I glance at my watch, 10:45 am, she should be up. I knock lightly on her door and wait anxiously for a reply. This is the second time I've stood nervous outside this door. It has to mean something, right? I'm not crazy and just imagining things?

"Coming! Please hold on!"

The grin that can only be associated with the girl behind this door finds its resting place on my face. The door is flung open by a barely dressed Ashley.

"Oh Spencer. Wow hey."

I almost laugh out loud at her quizzical expression and surprised tone in her voice.

"Is this a bad time? I can come by later if you want."

I quirk an eyebrow at her and its then a blush appears on her face, realizing her state of undress.

"Well I guess not. Come in, lemme go get dressed."

She flashes me a quick smile and disappears into a different room. I once again find myself surrounded by instruments and sheet music. I can't even sit on the couch it's so cluttered with papers and folders.

"Hey sorry I really wasn't expecting anyone this morning."

I can't seem to stop my eyes as they sweep over her, taking in her tight jeans and wife beater. She's all nose crinkling smiles and twinkling eyes this morning and I'm glad I decided to come see her.

"Yeah I guess I shoulda called or something first but I wanted to see what you were up to."

"It's ok. I'm always glad to see you Spencer."

It's something about the way she says my name that makes me feel at ease.

"Wanna go to the lake with me?"

I must look just as shocked as she does by my question but before I get a chance to reconsider the offer, I so carelessly threw out in the air, she answers me.

"I'd love to."

As she gathers some things to bring with us I wonder why my mouth was working without permission from my brain. I shake my head as she grabs my wrist leading me to a parking garage.

"Wait Ashley I can drive, its fine."

She gives me a devilish grin and shakes her head.

"We'll get there faster in my car."

My mouth drops as she slides into the leather seat of a brand new looking Porsche. She's right her car will be much faster then my junkie little car. Her laughter breaks my drooling.

"Come on Spencer! Get in the car!"

I pick my jaw up off the ground and hop in the car. This ride is so totally awesome!

"Nice ride."

She slips over-size sunglasses on her face and gives me another nose crinkling smile.

"I know."

The confidence dripping from her demeanor is infectious and causes me to laugh softly at her. The car roars to life and we zoom off down the street.

"Jesus Ashley!"

She laughs deep down from her belly at the panic in my voice.

"Calm down Carlin, I'm used to going fast. For me it's a way of life."

She finishes with a wink and pushes her sunglasses back in place. This girl is crazy but I'm beginning to enjoy it.

It takes about twenty minutes in her car, which I have affectionately named the Batmobile, and we are both starving when we reach the lake front.

"Crap we didn't bring anything to eat?"

I whine at the brunette as she rummages around her backseat. She pulls what appears to be a basket out of the car.

"Ah ha! Now stop your bitching Spencer I have food."

I notice how bright her smile is at her little triumph and it causes a grin to burst onto my face. We eat and talk for most of the day and I'm learning more and more about the mystery sitting next to me.

"Yeah I never knew my father but my mom is cool and she married Kyla's dad so BAM instant family."

She turns to face me and I take her sunglasses off her face. She watches me with curiosity as I inspect the glasses and then place them on my own face. With the glasses on I look at her openly for the first time today. The sun brings out the golden specks that are in her eyes and her hair appears a shade lighter in the natural light. She stares back at me, not hiding her gaze from me. I watch as her eyes drift over my features and a soft smile appears on her face. She brushes some stray hairs out of my face and it almost seems like it pains her to stop touching my face.

"What about you? What's your family like?"

I bite my lip and turn away from her intense gaze.

"My parents died in a car crash when I was 15 and I don't talk to my brother anymore."

My eyes well up with tears and I feel Ashley scoot herself closer to me. She takes the glasses off my face and lifts my face up.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry you've had to go through so much and in such a short time."

I smile at her through the tears and throw my arms around her neck. She circles her arms around my body and we sit like this for several minutes.

"It's starting to get dark. We should go."

Ashley nods her head in agreement and we pack up our little site. The drive home is quiet and I'm thankful she doesn't prod me with questions. She pulls up to my apartment and cuts the engine.

"I'm really glad you stopped by today Spencer. I really enjoy spending time with you."

A shy smile appears on her face, which surprises me because I'm so used to her usual confidence.

"I had a good time too, thanks."

I get out of the car and once I'm at my door I turn back to wave goodnight. She waves back and speeds off in her car. I hope I can give her more days like this. Today was a breakthrough that's for sure but how soon will the darkness reappear and reclaim me? I can only wonder and wait.

**I enjoyed writing this chapter. It finally gave me a real chance to let Spencer be happy! Thanks for the reviews and keep them coming, they fuel my writing.**


	8. Chapter 8

**I own no part of SON. The song from the last chapter was most of "Look After You" by The Fray. Awesome song you should check it out if you haven't heard it.**

**SoNFANFOREVER****: **Thank you so much. I'm really glad you've followed this story and continued to enjoy it.

**Neverwithdraw****: **Thanks for the review and I'm glad you liked the last chapter so much!

**lalalalee****: **Why thank you for pausing to review the story and you're going to make me blush if you keep talking like that.

**thefrick****: **I'm very sorry to hear you were having a bad day but I am glad that my writing helped. It's very nice to know this story could be making a difference.

**Coachkimm****: **Yes I figured it was time for Spence to have a day of happiness. Thanks for reviewing again!

I stay in bed listening to the insistent rain on the roof of our apartment building. Thinking of the day I spent earlier this week with Ashley causes the slightest of smiles to grace my face. It's been a long week and it is only Thursday. For the past hour Becky has been trying to get be out from under the blankets.

"Come on Spence just come out and eat something at least."

"Not hungry. Go away."

Over the past few days I've been hit all of a sudden of reminders of those I've lost. Monday I stumbled upon a shirt Aiden had left here, I haven't taken it off since. Wednesday I found a letter written to me from my parents, I haven't set it down since. The darkness I knew was coming consumed me fully last night. I cried and cried until I threw up, puking until I passed out in the bathroom. Becky had to carry me back to my bed last night and I haven't moved since she set me down. I can hear the desperation in her voice and the worry but I don't care. They're all gone, they just left me here to try and fend for myself. The anger causes me to burrow even deeper into the nest I've built inside my bed.

"Fine Spencer you leave me no other choice."

I hear Becky walk away but I have no idea what her words mean nor do I really care at this point. I watch the rain fall down my window and I'm thrown back in time about a year ago…

"_SPENCE! Stop running babe come on!"_

_I run through the rain back to my dorm. I can't believe Aiden would do this to me! I feel his strong hand grab my wrist and spin me back around._

"_You asshole!"_

_I slap him as hard as I can right across the face. When he looks at me once again the undeniable grief in his eyes makes me stop my leg from kicking him in the balls._

"_Spence," he caresses my cheek, "baby she kissed me. You didn't even get to see me push her off me you took off so fast."_

_The tears are still running down my face and my soaking wet clothes cling tightly to my body._

"_Aiden you shouldn't have even given her the opportunity to kiss you. I asked one thing of you and that was just to stay away from her."_

_I had caught this slut from our college kissing him at the party tonight._

"_Yeah she kissed me but I felt nothing. You know what happens when you kiss me? Even after four years? My heart soars, I feel invincible, and I feel more alive in that moment then any other."_

_I stare into his eyes and see nothing but love shining back at me. And then in the pouring rain I kiss him forcefully, feeling more alive then ever before…_

I'm brought out of my memories by what sounds like the fucking SWAT team kicking down my door. I startle into the sitting position and gawk at a soaking wet Ashley Davies.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

She takes a purposeful step forward and shakes the water out of her eyes.

"Well I was looking for my friend Spencer but all I see is some girl feeling sorry for herself."

She throws the words in my face with a callous tone in her voice. Why is she doing this? I thought she wanted to help me? I stand up from my bed and get right up in her face.

"You have NO fucking right to talk to me like that! Get out of here."

I shove her a few feet back with both my hands. She stumbles back and hits the wall.

"Wow it's nice to see some fight in there Carlin. There is a person in that shell, isn't there?"

She steps back into my space and gives me a shove. What the fuck? A growl escapes my throat and I full on tackle her to the ground. We land with a thud on my floor, her on her back and me on top of her. I pin her wrists to her sides and straddle her waist.

"Leave me alone Davies! I didn't ask for this from you."

"No you didn't but your best friend called me bawling saying that you were on the brink of destroying yourself again. Someone had to come and pull you back! You can't keep doing this to yourself and the people that care about you."

I stand and get off of her, sitting on the edge of my bed. I let a small, cynical laugh escape me.

"There is no one left to care about me. They're all dead."

She sits down next to me and lays her hand on my shoulder but I shrug it off.

"Spencer can't you see how much Becky cares, how much _I _care?"

Tears are rolling down my face but not because I feel bad about how I'm acting towards these two women. It's because I don't feel bad, just numb.

"Just go."

The words come out as a whisper and Ashley looks at me with eyes full of pain.

"Please Spencer let me in there."

She's practically begging with me but I want nothing to do with her and her bewitching eyes today.

"I said go."

She sighs and leaves my room, softly closing the door behind her. I tunnel myself back under the blankets and can hear muffled conversation from outside my door. Tears start running down my face as Aiden's old cologne surrounds my senses in my little cocoon. I have no idea how much time has passed since Ashley came in, when I hear my door squeak open. I feel someone lay down next to me and wrap their arms around me. I turn on my side to see them and I'm met with warm chocolate eyes.

"You're not alone Spencer. I'm right here."

I can feel the hot tears leaving a trail down my cheeks at her words. She sounds so sincere and I want so bad to believe her.

"I don't want to be like this anymore. There's too much pain."

She pulls me closer and I sob into her shoulder, my whole body shaking.

"Shh Spence it'll be ok someday, I promise."

I lift my head from the crook of her neck and stare into her eyes, eyes that are promising me so much.

"Ashley I can't do this alone and it won't be easy. I don't wanna drag you down with me."

I'm surprised by the honesty in my voice and the raw pain I can feel in my chest. She kisses the top of my head.

"I told you I'm here and I mean it."

"There's going to be days worse then this."

I'm warning her now because if she commits to helping me and she leaves, I'm sure I'll die.

"And when those days come, I'll be right here, holding you."

The glint in her eye and the determination in her voice placate me. I allow her strong arms to cradle me until darkness surrounds me once again.

The sounds of light snores rouse me from my sleep and I then realize there's a body lying practically on top of me. I try to gently push the offending mass on top of me but it only clings on tighter. Ugh I really need to pee and I can't move. I lift my head up and look around my room trying to find anything that might help me. Nothing. Crap. I poke her in the ribs lightly and she squirms. Ok she's a little ticklish. I do it again and then again until she turns over on her side, mumbling in her sleep. It's so innocent and adorable that I have to hold in the 'awww" I want to release. I go to the bathroom and enter my room again to retrieve a hoodie when Ashley starts muttering something about flying monkeys in her sleep. I tuck the covers further around Ashley's slightly, shivering form. I close the door quietly as I make my way into the living room, only to find Becky sniffling over a picture frame. It pains me to see her this way, this strong and independent woman seemingly in shambles because of me. I walk up behind her and place a hand on her shoulder. She doesn't startle or turn to look at me.

"I want the girl from this photo back. I don't know if I can keep doing this. I lost him too you know?"

I had actually met Aiden through Becky; they had been friends and neighbors all of their lives. I've been selfish to think I was the only one who lost someone they loved.

"I know Becky."

She sets the picture down and I notice it's the one of us embracing on my 18th birthday; we were all smiles that night.

"Not only did I lose him, I lost you too. That's what has made this even harder, I lost you too."

I sit down next to her and cradle my head in my hands. I have no idea what to say to her. It wouldn't be fair to either of us for me to promise it'll be ok, to promise this is the worst it will ever get. I grab her hand and squeeze lightly.

"Becks I-"

"And you know what is just crazy to me right now?"

She looks at me as if awaiting an answer but all I can do is shake my head.

"A girl we barely know seems to help you more then I ever could."

She sounds so distraught, so tortured and ready to just give up.

"No Becky that is not even it. She is helping me now and I have no idea why or how but she's helping _now_. Who's been there since I was 13? Who held me after my parents died? Who kept me alive after Aiden died? _You_. You did Becky, not her. Yes I barely know her but let her help us both now. We've been carrying the burdens too long by ourselves, let her heal us."

Becky nods slowly seeing the truth in my tear filled eyes. I throw my arms around her body and pull her to me. She squeezes back tightly and I remember why I love this girl. We have been through hell and back. She's seen my shit and I've seen hers and we're still here.

"Wow you two are just too cute."

We pull back to spot a smirking Ashley leaning against the kitchen counter. Her hair is tousled and her eyes are still slightly lidded with sleep but she's just glowing. I smile softly at her and she tilts her head adorably at me.

"Who's hungry?"

Ashley and I both raise our hands at Becky's question and it's decided that a pizza should be delivered. Ashley and I argue over sausage or pepperoni and finally decide on half of each. I can feel Becky's eyes on us as we argue and I know this jealousy issue about Ashley isn't over.

"Hey Becky play ya in Mario Kart?"

I throw a N64 controller at her and start up the game. We play God knows how many races before Becky excuses herself for a smoke. Once she's gone I sit Ashley down on the couch.

"Thank you, again."

She smiles a crooked smile at me and grabs my hand.

"Spencer I meant every word I said. I won't leave you."

"Promise?"

My voice betrays me and cracks over that one word. She intertwines our fingers and kisses the top of my hand.

"I promise."

I stare into her eyes and see the truth in her promise. I bring my other hand up to her cheek, stroking the soft skin there. She turns her face into my touch and kisses my palm. In this moment I see how beautiful she is. Her big, soft eyes and full lips and I have a sudden urge to feel them on mine. She sees me staring at her lips and breaks all contact from me.

"Well I should get home."

I just sit on the couch in confusion to the feelings I just had. She kisses the top of my head and quickly leaves my apartment. I slump back on the couch and try to figure out what just happened. How do I have these feelings? She's a she, I can't like her plus I love Aiden still. I take into account my racing heart and conclude, yes I do feel something for this girl but how strong it is and what it really means I have no idea.

**This was a little more difficult for me to write. I don't really like writing the sad stuff but it must be done. Please let me know what you think and thanks for reviewing!**


	9. Chapter 9

**I own no part of SON**

**SoNFANFOREVER****: **Ah you were my lone reviewer on this last chapter. So a BIG thank you to you! I'm so glad you're enjoying it. Haha yes the flying monkeys thing is a reference to Wicked which I just finished so it was on my brain when I wrote the last chapter.

I'm starting to notice things that I shouldn't. For instance, Ashley looks incredibly sexy in her glasses and sweatpants or how about when she laughs the whole room lights up. So here I am sitting at my kitchen table waiting for Ashley, Kyla, and Madison to show up for a wine night here with me and Becky. I keep glancing at the clock and I've changed my outfit six times all the while Becky is staring at me with fascination and wonder.

"Dude seriously chill."

I scowl at Becky who really has no idea why I'm so nervous.

"You know Glen called looking for you twice today."

At the mention of Glen I feel bile rise in my throat.

"Did you tell him to fuck off?"

"No Spencer I didn't and I really think you should just talk to him."

I clench my jaw willing myself not to freak out on her.

"I don't want to talk about it right now. Can we do this later?"

She lets out a big sigh and stops arranging food and wine to look at me.

"You can't keep avoiding this you know?"

"I know but just not tonight ok? I'm having a good day, let's not ruin it."

She finally gives in and nods at me. I turn back around to face the door waiting for what I'm sure is to be a torturous night of fighting off my feelings/urges. At the knock on the door my heart rate doubles in speed.

"Spence you uh gonna answer that?"

I nod at Becks slowly and she just rolls her eyes, muttering something about me being a freak under her breath. I rub my temples and take a deep breath trying to prepare myself for what's to come. I'm not disappointed when I open the door. Ashley is dressed in a tiny, jean miniskirt and a tight black tank top. Great I'm doomed to a night of drooling and oogling. So now I'm standing there staring at her with wide eyes. She grins at me and gives me a kiss on the cheek.

"Hey Spence."

She brushes past me into the apartment, followed closely by Kyla and Madison. It takes me several moments to recover and shut the door. I join the others in the kitchen where Kyla is rattling off about her engagement. I can't pay attention though Ashley is currently bent over looking through our fridge.

"Yeah and then Glen said…"

At the mention of that name I snap back to attention.

"Wait Kyla what did you say your fiancée's name is?"

I bite my lip, hoping and praying I heard her wrong.

"Oh um Glen Carlin."

Hello darkness this is Spencer, Spencer darkness.

When I open my eyes the first thing I see is Ashley's concerned face hovering inches over mine, her sweet breath hitting my lips.

"Spencer? Spence can you hear me? Madison get me a cool cloth!"

I groan loudly when feel the knot where I hit my head.

"Easy Spence don't move ok?"

Ashley's voice distracts me for a second and I savor the feel of her hand running softly over my face. I shut my eyes tightly and take a deep breath.

"Please tell me I heard wrong, please say she did not say Glen Carlin."

I open my eyes and stare at Ashley, who is looking everywhere but at me.

"Spence I wanted to tell you but I didn't know how an-"

"Just stop Ashley."

I scramble to my feet and steady myself against the wall. I look and see Kyla cowering behind Becky.

"Spencer, don't be mad please I didn't know he was your brother I swear."

The pure honesty behind her words causes me to rethink killing her. I let out a shuddering breath and give her a pained smile.

"I can't be mad at you; it's him I'm angry with. So you're his happy ever after huh?"

Everyone is looking at me like I grew a second head but I just walk to the kitchen and down a glass of wine. I quickly pour myself another one. I hear murmuring in the room I just left and quiet footsteps behind me. I don't have to turn around to know Ashley is standing there.

"Why wouldn't you just tell me?"

This might hurt most, the fact that Ashley kept this from me. She grabs my heads and pulls me closer to her.

"Spencer," she licks her lips nervously and I shiver, "I knew she was dating someone but I had no idea who. She's been gone the past two, almost three, years then she shows up with some guy that I didn't meet until like two weeks ago. That's when I found out they were engaged and who he was exactly. I didn't want to tell you because you've been so up and down recently."

I pull my hands out of hers and step back; I can't think properly when she's touching me.

"Ok but next time you don't get to keep something like this from me. Oh God we are all going to be related."

With this new revelation I down another glass of wine. I hear chuckling next to me and I turn to scowl at her.

"What's so funny?"

She steps back into my space and I know she hears my breath hitch.

"You'll be the hottest relative ever."

She winks at me and I feel my cheeks turn pink. With that small joke I know that the matter of the wedding is over for tonight. Ashley laughs at the color she's put on my cheeks and grabs my hand, leading me back to where the others are waiting. When I enter the room Kyla's eyes widen in fear but I give her a genuine smile, letting her know her and I are ok. I watch as she releases a deep breath. I sit on the couch and listen to the other three girls talk and laugh. I feel myself relaxing and actually enjoying myself. I almost pass out when Ashley places her hand on my thigh to push herself up off the couch. She excuses herself and goes to the bathroom. I can't help but allow my gaze to follow her out of the room.

"You're all she talks about you know?"

I whip my head back around to Madison's amused smirk.

"What?"

I don't believe it but I hope it is true.

"No she's telling the truth. I had lunch with her yesterday and all she could say was 'Spencer this and Spencer that' and 'don't you just love Spencer?'"

Kyla just got all the way back in my good graces divulging that little bit of information. Becky just sits there and nods, finally happy her theory all along was correct.

"But I've given her every reason to _not_ like me."

I stare at her two friends with disbelief on my face. Kyla gets up and sits next to me. She lays her hand on my shoulder and stares at me with warm eyes.

"You should really just talk to her Spencer."

I'm shocked by her sudden actions and I nod dumbly. Becky finally decides this is the time to add her two cents.

"Yeah Spence this could be really good for you. Plus I've seen how you look at her lately. When you're not stealing glances are her, she's looking at you. You guys are like two fifth grade girls with crushes."

I don't have time to reply because Ashley reenters the room and my eyes are locked on her, my mouth incapable of forming words. She pauses when entering the living room.

"What are you all staring at?"

She darts her eyes between the three of us. Becky, Kyla, and Madison are all sporting matching grins while I continue to just stare at Ashley.

"We are going to go pick up some food. You two wait here."

Becky motions for the other two to follow and they quickly leave the apartment.

"Huh that was weird."

Ashley sits down next to me close enough that our thighs are touching. I close my eyes and try to steady my breathing.

"Hey you alright?"

I open my eyes and fall into hers. She's looking at me with so much worry that I am quick to change my own emotions.

"Oh yeah I'm fine, never better."

She smiles at me and tucks a strand of loose hair behind my ears.

"You are so beautiful."

She's staring at me with such a look of want I don't hesitate when I press my lips to hers. It's a brief kiss full of innocence but it's all I'm ready for right now. I pull back and bite my bottom lip. I'm looking at her for assurance but her eyes are still closed and she looks like she's having trouble breathing.

"A-Ashley?"

She finally opens her eyes and a grin explodes on her face. I grin back and she grabs my hand.

"Spencer I've been waiting for that for forever."

I smile at her and squeeze her hand.

"You know we'll have to take it extremely slow right?"

She nods eagerly.

"And you know I won't be easy to be with right?"

She smiles and nods again.

"Well I guess I'm out of reasons to get rid of you."

She slaps me playfully on the arm and I laugh at her. When the others get back we decide not to tell them anything yet although I can tell they already have their suspicions. We put in a movie and Ashley and I spend the rest of the evening holding hands under the blanket and stealing glances at each other. I feel like I'm 16 again and I couldn't be happier about it.

**And so it begins! Thanks for any reviews on this story.**


	10. Chapter 10

**I own no part of SON**

**SoNFANFOREVER****: **haha ok well I want you to know I love u too! Your reviews are wonderful. I'm so glad that this story was able to lift your mood. Thank you very much for staying with me!

**Coachkimm****: **Thanks for the review, the twist will develop further soon!

**thefrick****: **I toyed with the idea of having Ashley be engaged to Glen but poor Spencer has been through so much already.

Ashley had to take her drunken step sister and drunken friend home. So now I sit alone in our dark apartment thinking about what happened tonight.

"Hey Spence, you ok babe?"

I smile at Becky but feel tears streaming down my face once again. But I'm not sad, I'm not depressed so why are the tears here?

"Oh Spencer, I know this must be so confusing to you but I promise its ok for this to happen."

I sniff and wipe the tears away from my eyes.

"For what to happen?"

She looks at me like a mother looks at a child when explaining that Santa doesn't actually exist.

"For you to find someone else, even for you to fall in love again."

I smile through, what I have concluded are happy, tears at my best friend.

"Thank you Becks."

"Hey it's what I'm here for. So you ok with Kyla and Glen getting married? You do realize then that you're kinda dating your future sister-in-law?"

I roll my eyes at her questions.

"Truthfully I haven't really thought about it yet, but thank you for bringing it up again."

I scowl playfully at her. _Oh, oh, Be my baby Ohhhhh Oh, oh Be my baby I'll look after you_. At the sound of a phone going off Becky and I quiet down. But I know it's not her phone and I don't think its mine. Becky tosses me my phone. I guess it is mine.

"Hello?"

Where did I get this ringtone and who would be calling me this late?

"Hey gorgeous."

I smile as her raspy voice invades my senses. Becky rolls her eyes at me when she spots the shit eating grin on my face. She mouths she's going to bed and I just nod, too entranced by the girl I'm on the phone with.

"Why are you calling crazy? You were just here."

I actually don't mind that she is calling, I love her voice.

"I missed you."

I can hear the pout in her voice and can only imagine her adorable face.

"I missed you too but don't you have to work early, so shouldn't you go to bed?"

She groans into the phone.

"Wow thanks Spence. Well the sooner I get to bed the sooner I'll be doing dirty things to you in my dreams."

I gasp at her comments and can feel my cheeks burning. She starts laughing and I think it's the most wonderful sound in the world.

"I'm kidding Spence, kind of. Goodnight!"

She doesn't even wait for my reply, maybe she knows I'm incapable of forming one right now. I smile as I hang up the phone, wondering to myself how I got this lucky.

The feeling of someone watching me rouses me from my sleep. I stifle a yawn and grab my glasses.

"W-what, w-whose t-there?"

Ugh I can't think this early in the morning. A sweet kiss lands on my cheek and her scent surrounds me. I don't even know how to describe what she smells like. My best guess would have to be vanilla but it's just so much more than that.

"G'morning sleepy head."

I smile up at her through my sleep induced fog. She's so beautiful.

"Whatya doin here?"

She gives me a nose crinkling smile and I feel myself swooning all over again.

"I wanted to bring you breakfast in bed."

She pulls two coffees and some donuts from behind her. Wait isn't she supposed to be at work? I prop myself up on my elbows and tilt my head at her.

"Aren't you supposed to be working right now?"

A devilish smirk plants itself on her face.

"Oh you didn't know? I'm sick."

She winks at me and I just roll my eyes at her.

"You're crazy."

"You are so totally right."

She giggles at my confused face and mouth full of donut.

"I'm completely and utterly crazy…about you."

I swallow down the donut and grin up at her. We sit and stare at each other for a moment longer before I state something I should have noticed a long time ago.

"You know I've known you a couple weeks now and I barely know anything about you."

She flops down all the way on the bed and burrows under the covers next to me.

"Ok well what do you want to know? Ask away."

She scoots even closer, draping her arm over my waist and trailing a pattern up and down my back. Her actions cause a lazy smile to spread across my face and my eyes start to droop.

"Mmm I forgot what I was saying."

She smiles softly at me and halts her hand's movements.

"We were going to play 20 questions or something like it."

I blink back my haze and shake my head. She does things to me I can't really describe.

"Right ok let's start." She gazes at me with a smile, awaiting my questions, "Ok favorite color, birthday, school, relationships, and favorite food. To start with anyway."

She raises her eyebrows and I can tell she wasn't expecting them all at once. She brushes some hair out of her face and takes a deep breath.

"Blue, May 22, I don't go to school but if I did I would be a senior this year, I've had two serious relationships both ended badly, and cake."

It takes me a minute to process all her answers.

"Wow. Ok."

She chuckles softly.

"My turn Spence. I guess same questions to you."

I stare into her eyes and feel my stomach clinch.

"Golden brown, June 19, I'm a junior this fall at University of Illinois Chicago, one serious relationship, and peanut butter."

"Hmm why golden brown?"

The twinkle in her eyes tells me she knows why I picked that color. I blush and bury my head in my pillow.

"It's the color of your eyes."

I'll be surprised if she can understand the mumbled words coming out of my mouth.

"What Spence? Come on tell me for real."

She's whining at me and it causes me to grin into the pillow. I shake my head no and immediately feel her poking my side. I yelp with surprise and pull my face out of the pillow. As soon as my head comes up I'm met by her lips on mine. It takes me a minute to recover but when I do I start kissing her back. It's slow and goes no further then her just pressing her lips to mine but it's intense and full of heat. I pull back first sucking in air through my parted lips as she continues to lay soft kisses all over my face. I feel her stop so I open my eyes and see her gauging me for some sort of reaction. It's adorable really, her face is slightly flushed and she's gnawing nervously on her bottom lip. I smile at her and give her a quick kiss on the lips.

"Oh good I thought maybe it was too soon but I couldn't help myself you were just too cute and I just had to kiss you."

I laugh at her and pull her down next to me on the bed. She wraps her arms around my body and lays her head on my shoulder, her legs tangled in mine. I start running my fingers through her hair and feel her whole body relax.

"Oh you like that?"

The only response I get is a grunt. I smile down at the girl clinging to me and hope this lasts because it's the first time I've felt whole in a very long time.

I don't know when we feel asleep but it's been awhile. I groan when I feel her laying almost on top of me again.

"Ash. Ashley wake up."

I give a light push but she doesn't budge.

"Hey Spence I've brought…oooooh."

Becky bursting through my door causes Ashley and me both to jump off the bed.

"Hey Becky."

Ashley gives a sheepish smile and tries to fix her very tousled hair.

"Uh huh. Well I'll be in my room. Come find me later Spence."

Becky gives me a wink, causes me cheeks to burn red and leaves my room.

"UGH."

I flop back on my bed throwing my arm over my eyes. I feel the bed dip beside me and my whole body reacts from her being this close.

"Hey I have to go but I'll call you later ok?"

She lifts my arm off my face and kisses my forehead.

"K. I guess I'll go talk to Becky."

She laughs lightly and helps me off the bed. As I'm walking to Becky's room Ashley slaps my ass, causing me to gasp.

"Mmm sorry. I guess you're the one who's irresistible."

She winks at me and exits my apartment. I knock on Becky's door and give a disgusted look when she answers all bouncy and perky.

"So Spencer. What the deuce was that?"

"Nothing Becky she came over with breakfast and then we fell asleep that's all."

She looks at me unconvinced.

"Seriously Spence. I know there's more and you're really gonna hold out on your best friend?"

She raises her eyebrows and crosses her arms. Standing right in front of me showing that she's not going to give in.

"Fine. Goddamnit. We've kissed a couple of times."

Becky lights up like a Christmas tree at this news.

"Oooo details woman, now!"

"Becks there are no details. Just kisses, I'm not ready for anything else yet."

"You said yet."

I look at her smirk and want to slap it off her face.

"So what?"

"It means someday you will be ready and you'll let it happen. She must be a patient woman if she's going to wait to do anything."

I roll my eyes and start walking out.

"This talk is over."

I hear her call to me from her room.

"Let me know once you guys have fucked!"

I shake my head and grab my cell phone. Looks like I'll be spending the night waiting for a certain phone call. My how things have started to change.

**Sorry that took a little bit longer then expected. I've been doing holiday stuff. Thanks for reviewing and adding this story. Keep it up please!**


	11. Chapter 11

**I own no part of SON. I didn't get this done as soon as I had hoped cuz of xmas and everything but here ya go, just a little filler and slight drama-ish and a glimpse of what's to come (kinda) Enjoy!**

**RUlov3r****: **Haha I'm glad you like Becky. She is based heavily off my best friend. Thanks for the review!

**Coachkimm****: **Thanks for your consistent reviews, they really help keep me going!

**SoNFANFOREVER****: **Ah thank you once again you are amazing. I'm so glad you've been following the story and thank you for the holiday wishes. I hope yours are going well!

**Neverwithdraw****: **Haha yes I figured it would be too cruel to have Glen engaged to Ash. Here's the next chapter.

Today is my 21st birthday. It is also one of the most depressing days because I am without my parents and my first love but I do have Ashley. She spends most of her time here at the apartment with me. She says I can't go to her place because she's working on a birthday surprise for me. I'm a little concerned as to what the surprise may be. Becky has been a twitter with joy ever since she found Ashley and me in bed together.

The whole Ashley thing has kept my mind occupied and away from what I've lost but today I feel the losses twice as hard. In fact I don't even want to get out of bed but I smell something wonderful cooking. I grab my glasses and throw them on, it's not a day for my contacts, and pull my favorite hoodie over my head.

As I walk out into the kitchen what I see surprises the hell outta me. Working like a well oiled machine are Madison, Kyla, Ashley (who of course looks delicious), and Becky. They are laughing and buzzing around the kitchen cooking breakfast. I continue to stand there with my mouth hanging open as Ashley bounds up to me with twinkling eyes.

"Surprise."

She whispers it in my ear, her hot breath blowing across my ear and neck, sending shivers down my spine. Before I get the chance to reply she firmly presses her lips to mine and my hands find their resting place on her hips. She breaks away first and a gasp escapes her as I pull her body flush against mine. Ashley's body seems to radiate heat and my heart races with her this close. She instantly wraps her arms around my neck and holds me tight.

"What's wrong baby?"

She murmurs the words against my neck and the feeling is driving me crazy. I'm doing my best to blink back my tears, not wanting to cause pain to the beautiful woman holding me.

"Nothing, I'm fine."

She pulls back enough to stare into my eyes. Her face is full of concern and doubt.

"Are you sure? We don't have to do this whole breakfast thing."

I give her a small smile and a nod, letting her know it's ok. She grabs my hand and leads me into the dining room where breakfast is waiting. As soon as I enter the dining room Becky draws me into a strong hug.

"Happy birthday slut."

She grins at me and I slap her on the back. Kyla surprises me most by grabbing my arm and pulling me away from the others. I know there must be shock and confusion written all over my face.

"Hey Kyla, uh what's up?"

She looks at me with tears in her eyes and I'm not quite sure what I'm supposed to do with her.

"Oh Spencer I just wanted to thank you."

What the hell?

"Thank me? For what?"

"I haven't seen my sister this happy in…well ever. I know it all has to do with you and I just wanted you to know how much it means to me."

I have no idea what to say to her and luckily I don't have to because Ashley comes up behind me and wraps her arms around my waist. Instantly I feel safer. The smile that only appears when she's around is plastered on my face.

"Kyla are you done with my girl? Everyone's hungry."

She finishes with a whine in her voice and a pout on her face. I grin and grab her by the hand leading her to the dinner table.

After breakfast Becky, Kyla, and Madison go out to the movies with there respective boys while Ashley and I went to my room. When I open my door I'm floored by what I see. Tears start forming in my eyes as I take in the scene in front of me. The room is lit solely by white candles everywhere. On my bed sits her guitar and a giant peanut butter cake.

I turn and face Ashley my eyes wide with surprise.

"Hold on, it's not done yet."

She leads me to the bed and the candlelight only emphasizes her beauty. She sits me down then seats herself across from me, picking up her guitar.

"I uh wrote this for you, for your birthday. So uh here we go."

She takes a deep breath and begins to sing.

She's a yellow pair of running shoes  
A holey pair of jeans  
She looks great in cheap sunglasses  
She looks great in anything  
She's I want a piece of chocolate  
Take me to a movie  
She's I can't find a thing to wear  
Now and then she's moody

She's a Saturn with a sunroof  
With her brown hair a-blowing  
She's a soft place to land  
And a good feeling knowing  
She's a warm conversation  
That I wouldn't miss for nothing  
She's a fighter when she's mad  
And she's a lover when she's loving

And she's everything I ever wanted  
And everything I need  
I talk about her, I go on and on and on  
'Cause she's everything to me

She's a Saturday out on the town  
And a church girl on Sunday  
She's a cross around her neck  
And a cuss word 'cause its Monday  
She's a bubble bath and candles  
Baby come and kiss me  
She's a one glass of wine  
And she's feeling kinda tipsy

She's the giver I wish I could be  
And the stealer of the covers  
She's a picture in my wallet  
Of my unborn children's mother  
She's the hand that I'm holding  
When I'm on my knees and praying  
She's the answer to my prayer  
And she's the song that I'm playing

She's the voice I love to hear  
Someday when I'm ninety  
She's that wooden rocking chair  
I want rocking right beside me  
Everyday that passes  
I only love her more  
Yeah, she's the one  
That I'd lay down my own life for

And she's everything I ever wanted  
And everything I need  
She's everything to me  
Yeah she's everything to me

Everything I ever wanted  
And everything I need  
She's everything to me

She finishes and I just continue to stare at her. Describing her voice is tough but it's lower and rough. It's incredibly sexy and just perfect. She puts the guitar on the ground and I notice she's a little out of breath, her chest is raising and falling. I crawl closer to her on the bed and cup her cheek with my hand.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you."

I start whispering the words against her lips and it doesn't take her long to respond. She tangles her hands in my hair and we fall back on the bed, her landing on top. I gasp when I feel her tongue running along my bottom lip and she uses my reaction to slip it in my mouth. I think we both moan at the contact and she pushes herself harder against me. I feel my chest burning but I can't seem to stop kissing her. Her tongue slides sensually over mine and I find myself becoming addicted to her taste. I tear my lips away from hers gasping for air but she doesn't seem to need any, her lips immediately latching onto my neck.

"Fuuuuck Asshlleeyy."

She growls into my neck and bites down hard. I feel her hand slip between our bodies and start pulling my shirt up. Just like that the mood shifts and I push her off me, bolting to the other side of the room. I stand in the corner trying to catch my breath and Ashley looks even worse off then I must. She's still laying on my bed, her face is flushed a deep shade of red, and she almost seems to be shaking.

"Ash I'm sorry but it's too much too fast."

I look at her waiting for her to say it's not worth it and for her to storm out but she continues to just lay there. When she does speak her voice is even rougher then normal, making it so hard to not jump her bones again.

"No Spence its ok, I understand."

She still hasn't moved and I'm beginning to wonder if she's alright. Suddenly she's up and in front of me in a flash. She gives me a quick kiss on the lips.

"Spencer I will wait however long you need. I just need a minute to recover from something like that. I thought my heart was going to explode. You are unbelievably sexy."

I blush at her words and hang my head.

"No, no I'm really not."

I feel a hand lift my chin up and I fall back into chocolate eyes that I'll always find intriguing.

"Yes you are. You're a sex kitten."

She winks at me and I feel the mood lift immediately. I roll my eyes at her and walk into the dining room. There sitting at the table are our three friends with big ass grins on their faces.

"What guys?"

Becky stands and walks to me. She grins at me with knowing eyes.

"I'm so happy for you. I could here all the 'ohs' and 'hmms' and other noises. It sounds like you two were having fun."

I feel my cheeks redden once again today and I slap Becky upside the head.

"Shut up dude."

Ashley just grins and nods her head at my best friend.

We decide that Ashley should stay the night as a birthday present to me. When we crawl into bed I turn to face her before we turn out the lights.

"Really thank you for today, it was wonderful."

I lift my hand up and trace them all over her face. She smiles at the contact and trails her own fingers up and down my back.

"You are very welcome beautiful."

"Ash I know we are having fun and just enjoying things but we still have a lot to talk about. You know that right?"

"Yeah Spencer I get it but not tonight ok? Just let me hold you."

I nod and kiss her chin, snuggling closer into her body. I sigh as she tightens her hold and kisses the top of my head. I can't wait to wake up in her arms but things need to be talked about and I need to go to their graves tomorrow. For the first time in weeks I see the dark clouds of misery waiting for me and I shudder in arms that have always felt so warm.

**OOOO I sense more drama coming on. Happy holidays and I'll try and get the next chapter up tomorrow! The song is She's Everything by Brad Paisley**


	12. Chapter 12

**I own no part of SON. Here we go this one feels a little scattered to me but let me know what you think. Enjoy!**

**Coachkimm****: **Oh I know I love that song and I don't think people use country songs enough.

**RUlov3r****: **Thank you for the review. I'm glad you liked the last chapter.

I've been awake for hours, the crushing feeling of something bad coming not allowing me to sleep. I turn on my side and gaze at the sleeping figure beside me. She keeps twitching and frowning in her sleep. I notice the reason for her actions and it causes a smile to creep on my face, there's a strand of hair tickling her nose. I gently brush away the offending hair and untangle myself from the slumbering brunette. I'm not overly surprised by the scene in front of me in the living room. There is Becky, in her underwear, rocking out on Guitar Hero. I shake my head and flop down onto the couch behind her.

"You do realize its 3am right?"

She whirls around, slightly out of breath and tries to answer me.

"Yeah…but….I couldn't…sleep. What are you doing out here? Isn't your girl toy in your room? I bet she's naked. Oh my God you guys just got done doing it!"

Her voice ends up as a squeak and it cause me to flinch.

"God Becky no we weren't having sex."

"Oh."

The disappointment on her face is evident even in the dark of the living room.

"That's one of our many problems. I can't give her that, hell I can barely kiss her without freaking out. And if I can't give her the physical stuff how can I possibly be ready to give her my heart?"

I finish with a frustrated sigh and Becks puts down her guitar to sit next to me.

"Listen Spence, I don't really know what you're going through. How could I? But I do know that I don't want you to go back to where you were before Ashley. She's changed you in such a short time and I am so grateful to her. She got me my friend back but I can see that she's only going to get you so far. You have to _want_ to get back here; you have to _want_ to be completely happy."

A part of me knows she's probably right but I can feel old feelings and hurt coming back.

"Becky it's already coming back. I need to go see Aiden."

She runs her hand through her hair and looks at me with pleading eyes.

"Please Spencer let him go. You going to see his grave all the time can't be healthy for you. You have found someone, that for some unexplainable reason, that wants to be with you. Please don't push her away, don't push me away again."

I hear her pleading with me but all I can think about tonight is that the person in my bed is not who I really want it to be. I want him and I feel sick to my stomach about not having thought about him recently. I give Becky a pat on the back and make my way back to my room. I stand over my bed staring at Ashley. She really is beautiful and she does make me feel loved again but it's not enough. I know I've been unfair to her but I can't get him out of my head.

I lay back down beside her and a sad smile spreads across my face when she blindly gropes for me in the dark. Her arm latches around my waist pulling me closer to her and I feel sad tears slide down my cheek. I never wanted this to happen.

As soon as the sun rises I'm out of bed again, getting dressed to go to the cemetery. Ashley doesn't wake as I dress and she doesn't wake when I press a soft kiss to her temple, whispering an apology. The walk to the cemetery doesn't take me long and there is a warm rain falling by the time I reach his resting place.

"Hey baby. Sorry it's been such a long time since I visited last. I've been kinda busy."

I kneel in front of his stone and trace the letters of his name with my fingers.

"There's been something going on with me Aid. I'm having conflicting feelings. I love you so much but there's someone who I could possibly love and she already cares for me. But I can't seem to leave you behind. Is it ok for me to have you both? No, no of course not, that isn't fair to anybody."

I lean my forehead against the cool stone of his tombstone.

"He can't love you the ways you need if he isn't here anymore ya know."

I lift my head and see a very heartbreaking picture in front of me. Ashley Davies stands before me drenched with tears running down her face. I scold myself mentally for instantly noticing how her clothes cling to her body and the rain dripping down her chest. She kneels beside me and tries to grab my hand but I move it out of her reach.

"He'll always love me and I'll always love him."

The anger I feel at her take on the situation makes me want to vomit.

"Not like I could why can't you see that? Do you think that little of me? How do you not feel the spark every time we touch?"

The rain is now pelting down on us, two lone figures in the early morning. I stare at her and see the pain in her gorgeous, brown eyes. My internal battle wages harder then ever in this moment. I want to care for and love the breathtaking girl in front of me but a big piece of me is buried in this cold earth with this boy. She continues to kneel right beside me gazing at me with fierce eyes.

"Ashley I-I can't be something or act the way you want. This right here," I slap Aiden's grave, "is where my heart lays, not here."

I point to my chest and wait for her reaction. She says nothing just stands up and bends downing pressing a hard kiss to the side of my face. I watch her walk away and feel my heart shattering into a million pieces. The pain rips through my body and a sob escapes me. The fear of losing her is hitting me like a million bricks.

"Wait Ashley!"

I'm up and running before I have time to really think through my decision. My body slams into hers and I bury my face in her neck.

"Please don't go. I'm just confused. I need you, I need you."

She still hasn't wrapped her arms around me, so I squeeze her tighter and just cry harder. She grabs me by the shoulders and pushes me back a step.

"Spencer, you can't do this to me. It isn't fair, you pushing and pulling me around like this. I have feelings invested in this too. You're hurting me, do you understand that?"

The tears that were streaming down her face have stopped and she's looking at me with hard, cold eyes.

"Ashley please don't walk away from this. I told you it'd be bad and I told you that there would be doubts and bad days. I want this and sometimes I say things I don't really mean. I never meant to hurt you."

I hope she can see the truth in my eyes and hear the honesty in my voice. She looks away from me and frowns. I feel all hope leave me when she closes her eyes and I prepare myself for her walking away for good.

I close my eyes and allow the tears to escape, tears that come from the chest shattering pain in my chest. But the pain suddenly stops, it stops when her soft lips land on my own. I grab her face and pull her closer to me, needing the contact of her body on mine. My tongue pleads against her lips wanting to be let in. She grins into the kiss and grants my wish. I groan when our tongues make contact and her hands stroke the small of my back. The rain continues to fall and I tangle my hands in her wet hair. I moan when her hands slide up my shirt on my back and she nips my bottom lip. We both pull back and lean our foreheads together. Neither one of us speaks, just grin and lock gazes. I take one of my hands and use it to stroke her cheek.

"Ash I'm so sorry. I really do care about you, it's just hard for me to admit and let you all the way in."

She tilts her head adorably and gives me a crooked smile.

"Come on let's go back to my place and we can talk about it when we're dry."

We walk hand in hand back to her apartment, jogging the last few blocks because the rain picks up even more.

We scramble into her apartment laughing and panting from the jogging. I watch her as she picks papers up off her couch, making a space for us to sit.

"Want a drink?"

I shake my head and cautiously sit on her couch.

"Spence you can't keep me locked out if we are going to be…well together."

She sits down next to me and laces our fingers together.

"I know, I just have a hard time getting involved with anyone again. I'm afraid you'll leave me, like them."

My words end in a whisper and sound broken, even to myself. She pulls me into a hug and strokes my hair.

"I can't promise nothing will ever happen to me but I can promise I'll be here as long as I can."

She continues to hold onto me and we end up falling asleep in each others arms.

The vibrating feeling against my hip wakes me from my sleep. I groan as I dig for me phone in my pocket. Ashley stirs slightly and mumbles about bananas in her sleep.

"Ugh hello?"

I whisper the words trying not to wake my sleep ridden companion.

"Spence when you coming home? It's getting late."

"Shit Becks I'll be home in like 10 minutes. Bye."

I hang up the phone and try to pry myself away from Ashley.

"Mmm babe where ya going?"

She reaches out and grabs my arm trying to pull me back to the couch.

"Hey I gotta go home and do some things. I'll call later ok?"

She nods sleepily and kisses my hand. I walk out of her apartment and smile at the rainbow streaked across the sky. I let out a deep breath and thank God I didn't lose Ashley today. She is starting to prove me wrong on all my theories about people in general. She says she won't leave me and right now, in this instant, I believe her.

**Thanks for all the reviews and adds. I might be able to get another chapter up by tonight. **


	13. Chapter 13

**I own no part of SON. A happier chapter following that intense last chapter. Love the reviews and thanks.**

**Coachkimm****: **Thank you for the wonderful review.  
**thefrick****: **I'm so glad you like this! And hahahahaha your making me blush again 

**acidburn930****: **Thank you for joining this story and reviewing.

**Neverwithdraw****: **Thank you once again for your wonderful review. Spence will start to come around.

**SoNFANFOREVER****: **You are wonderful. Plain and simple. Thanks for both of your reviews and I'm not quite sure where the bananas thing came from!

I spent the rest of the day yesterday and most of that night thinking of how I could make up for how I've acted. All I know for sure is how much Ashley loves music, so the best I came up with was a concert. But then I thought of theater so now here I am on the internet buying two, very expense and probably overpriced tickets to see Wicked. The show is actually tonight and I grab my phone to make the all important phone call. I dial a number I memorized weeks ago and anxiously await the voice that makes me melt.

"Hello?"

Her raspy voice causes a smile to break out on my face and goose bumps to rise up on my neck.

"Hey Ash. You don't have plans tonight do you?"

Please, please, please don't let her have plans. I want this for us so bad.

"No Spence I'm free. Did you have something in mind?"

YES, YES, YES! Score! Wait calm down before you try and talk to her. I take a deep breath, bringing my heart rate back down to normal.

"Yes I have an idea for us. It's a formal affair; you don't mind getting all dressed up do you?"

She laughs into the phone and my knees threaten to give out.

"No I'll dress up for you and whatever we are doing."

I grin and feel like I could fly.

"Can you be here at say 6ish?"

"Yeah that's fine, I'll see you then."

I hear the click on the other end of the phone and I realize I don't have very much time to prepare. I could tell by her tone on the phone that she still hasn't completely forgiven me for yesterday and I don't blame her at all. I scramble around the apartment trying to find the phone book. I find it and dial a number, making a special call. When I'm done with that I jump in the shower and quickly wash myself.

"SPENCER I'M HOME!"

Becky bellows as she opens the door and I jump out of my skin. I climb out of the shower and pull a towel around me.

"Christ Becks did you have to scream like that?"

I poke my head out of my room to find my best friend putting more beer in our fridge. That girl drinks like a fish.

"Yeah I did actually. Its fun for me to either see or hear you freak out about it."

She grins cheekily at me and I roll my eyes.

"Hey um can you help me?"

She halts all movement and stares at me with disbelieving eyes.

"_Me_? Help _you_?"

I nod my head and wait for her to finish this shit.

"ME Becky Roberts help YOU the great Spencer Carlin?"

"Goddamnit yes Becky. Will you fucking help me? This is important to me."

I know she'll say yes and she better freakin hurry I don't have time for her shit.

"Oh yeah cool, I mean when you put it that way of course."  
I grit my teeth at the smirking girl in front of me and we get to work.

It is now 5:50pm and I'm a nervous wreck.

"Becky what if she doesn't like the dress?"

Becks quirks her eyebrow at me.

"Spence I'm about ready to jump you and have my way with you. She'll love the dress."

I take a deep breath and nod in agreement.

"Wait what about the restaurant. I mean what if she doesn't like anything on the menu?"

Becky grabs me by the shoulders and gives me a light shake.

"Jesus Spence get your shit together. She'll love it all, ok? Damn I haven't seen you this nervous since we took the ACT in high school."

I laugh and nod my head in agreement.

"Yeah I might have blown that out of proportion."

"No shit. You took five prep courses and the only thing you would put in your stomach were those weird brain protein shakes. It was a little disturbing."

I cringe at the memory of downing those shakes that tasted kind of like asshole, or at least what asshole must taste like.

My heart stops when I hear the knock at the door. Oh shit here we go.

Becky answers the door as I sprint to my bedroom to grab my purse and heels. I slip into the shoes and put the tickets in my purse. I take a deep, steadying breath before I walk to where I can hear Ashley and Becky talking.

My brain turns to mush and my heart beats triple its normal speed when I lay my eyes on her. She's wearing a black dress that is only held up by one strap on her shoulder, the other shoulder bare. The dress goes about mid thigh, showing off her tan, toned legs. I know everyone says it's rude to stare but in this instance I just can't help myself. I finally tear my eyes away from her perfect body and look at her face. Her eyes are wide and glued to my body. I'm wearing a dark blue halter dress and my wavy hair hangs around my face. The dress is tight and I really can't breath but it's having the effect on Ash that I want. I see her clench and unclench her jaw as if trying to stop herself from charging.

"Wow you guys both just eye fucked the shit out of each other and now it kinda smells like sex in here, damn!"

I remember Becky is in the room and I force myself to look at her.

"Thanks Becks. We are just gonna go now, don't wait up."

Ashley still isn't talking and I can feel her eyes trained on my body in a predatory gaze, causing me to feel a little weak in the knees. I grab her hand and lead her downstairs to where a sleek, black limo is waiting for us. Ashley stops dead in her tracks and gawks at the limo.

"Ash that's our ride come on or we're going to be late."

I pull her to the limo and let her get in first, loving that I get to stare at her ass as she gets in. I slide in next to her and she immediately reaches for my hand.

"Spence this is incredible but why are this fancy stuff?"

I smile at her and give her a quick kiss on the lips.

"Because you deserve it."

She gives me one of those nose crinkling smiles I love so much and we ride in silence to the restaurant.

At the restaurant we get a more private table near the back. And I pull my chair closer to Ashley so I can lay my hand on her thigh. She sighs at the contact and kisses me deeply.

"How did you get reservations at this place? It's always all booked."

I shrug and kiss her again, never tiring of her lips on mine.

"They recognize the awesomeness that is Spencer Carlin."

She throws her head back and laughs from deep down in her belly and I grin in response.

"Yeah Spence that must be it."

I don't take my hand off her thigh through the whole dinner, sometimes lightly tracing patterns on her bare leg. She protests when I pay for the bill and gives a confused look when I tell her the night isn't over.

"What else do you have planned Spencer?"

I smirk at her and we both get in the limo.

"Just you wait."

I'd be lying if I told you that we didn't make out the entire way to the theater. She had practically jumped me the minute the limo door shut. We fix our hair and smooth out our dresses before exiting the limo at our last stop.

Ashley gasps and then jumps into my arms when she realizes where we are and what we're doing.

The play is wonderful and almost over but I haven't been paying much attention to the show. I've been watching Ashley's reactions and emotions through the whole play. She looks enthralled and by the end she has tears running down her face. We stand up with the rest of the audience and applaud the cast. She's grinning with tears streaking her beautiful face.

We decide to walk home since it's only a few blocks.

"Thank you so much Spencer. That was incredible."

I grab her hand and bring it up to my lips, laying a sweet kiss on the top of her hand.

"You are very welcome, like I said you deserve it."

I walk her to her front door and decline her invitation inside.

"Ash I don't want to rush this or do something we might both regret later. I want to savor every minute of this and I want to do this right. That means taking my time. Ok?"

Her eyes dance at my answer and she grabs my face pulling me in for a kiss. It's slow and languid with a burning passion behind it. She pulls back and hugs me close, whispering in my ear.

"That's perfectly fine with me."

She kisses the tip of my nose and gives my hand a final squeeze.

"Goodnight Spence."

"G'night Ash."

I stand outside her door another minute just grinning like a damn fool. I am a little embarrassed to say that I practically skipped the entire way home. I can't help it when I fling the door open, startling Becky out of her slumber on the couch.

"Jesus Spence!"

I grin and jump onto the couch.

"Becky tonight was amazing!"

I recount the night to Becky with overflowing enthusiasm as Becky laughs and nods at the appropriate times.

I go to bed that night remembering how Ashley hadn't been able to take her eyes off me. That night I dream of Ashley and some interesting things she might be able to do with her hands.

**BAM! Another chapter today. I loved writing this chapter. Thanks for the reads and reviews!**


	14. Chapter 14

**I own no part of SON**

**Coachkimm****: **As always thank you so much for reviewing. It really helps me to know how people are reacting and since you've been following since the beginning you're one of the best!

**SoNFANFOREVER****: **Ah yes I was on a roll the other night, unfortunately that died real quickly. I completely agree with you those types of kisses are the best! Thank you so much, you're amazing.

**DarceLynn****: **Thanks for joining and I'm glad you like it!  
**acidburn930****: **Thank you very much!

**RUlov3r****: **Yes it's time for Spencer to come around to really being with Ashley. This last date was a big step! Thanks for reviewing.

So it's been a week since the big date and Ashley and I have spent almost every waking minute together. The only problem is that we can never seem to be alone longer then like ten freaking minutes. If it's not Becky at my place, it's Madison or Kyla at hers. Trust me it is very frustrating. So I've taken up knitting, yes knitting to keep my hormones in check. It works better then a cold shower.

"Dude you're knitting again."

I give Becky my best shove off look but it doesn't work.

"What is with that anyway? You making me a sweater?"

She gives me a smartass grin and turns the TV on.

"No I'm not making you a sweater."

"Hmm well you don't do it cuz you like it, so why do you do it?"

I refuse to admit to her that it's because I'm incredibly horny for my super hot girlfriend.

"Becks just leave it."

I continue with my work but jump when I hear her squeal.

"OHMYGOD!"

Shit she's figured it out and now she's smirking at me again.

"It's because your not getting any isn't it?"

My verbal attack on Becky doesn't even get started because of the knock on the door. Both our heads snap towards the door while the knocking continues.

"You expecting someone?"

Becks shakes her head and waves for me to answer the door. I open the door to a very nervous looking Ashley.

"Oh hey As-"

I'm cut short by Ashley crushing her lips to mine. I gasp and tangle my hands in her hair. Oh she's such a good kis…oh shit Becky is still in here! I try and push Ashley off me but she just kisses me harder, moaning into my mouth. My knees go weak but she cups my ass and pulls me up onto her. Oh God this is awesome but it has…

"Jesus guys don't make me get the hose."

Thank you Becky, I'll kill you later. Ashley has me backed against a wall and she's still holding me up but her face is now buried in my neck. Her breath is coming out in ragged burst against my neck causing shivers to run down my spine. I unwrap my legs from around her waist and slide back down on my feet. I give Ashley a quick kiss on the cheek and squeeze myself away from between her and the wall.

"Sorry Becky. These things happen you know."

Becks raises her eyebrow at me and shakes her head.

"Sure Spence and actually I wouldn't know since I don't have a significant other."

Ashley finally recovers and starts pacing around my living room. What the hell is wrong with this girl today? First she jumps me and practically rapes me and now she's a nervous wreck. Becky seats herself at the kitchen counter and looks from me to Ashley; she's obviously waiting for some sort of show. I scowl at her and turn my attention back to my brunette beauty.

"Hey Ash what's wrong?"

She stops pacing when I grab her wrist and lead her to the couch. Becky continues to sit there and stare at us, stupid skank.

"Spence there's something I have to ask you to do for me?"

My eyes go wide and I have a million different ideas running through my head, none of them appropriate. I swallow down a large lump before answering.

"Uh sure, what is it?"

She gives me a pained smile and grabs my hand.

"My mother and father have invited us to a family dinner."

I laugh out loud in relief.

"That's it? Baby why'd you make that so hard?"

She looks down at our hands when she answers.

"Glen and Kyla will be there."

Ok there goes all the happiness left in this room. I immediately stand up and start pacing the path that was once trodden by Ashley.

"Shit dude what are you going to do?"

I halt my movements and exhale a breath I didn't realize I was holding. I turn to Becky and run my hand through my hair.

"I dunno man, I dunno."

At my confession, Ashley is by my side in a flash, stroking my cheek.

"I know that this would be difficult for you but I want to show you off."

She blushes and shifts from one foot to the other. I can already feel myself starting to give in.

"I dunno Ash."

She looks into my eyes and I stare back. The gold flecks in her eyes are especially prominent today. I place my hands on her neck and kiss her forehead.

"Please Spencer."

She practically purrs this in my ear and I know I'm a goner.

"Ok."

It comes out in a sort of croak like sound and she pulls back to stare and grin at me.

"I knew you'd cave you pansy."

I kick Becky in the shin and she takes the hint to leave.

"Thank you."

Ashley hugs me tight and I wrap my arms around her body.

"You are so going to owe me for this."

She brings her head back to meet my eyes and she delivers another nose crinkling smile.

"Oh yeah? And whatever shall I do to repay you for this?"

She traces her finger down my cheek to my collarbone and finally down my chest, resting her hand on my hip. I fidget under her lust filled gaze.

"I'm sure I could think of something."

She grins and just as I'm about to kiss her senseless I hear Becky yell at me.

"Dude can you bring me some toilet paper! The bathroom is all out!"

I groan and rest my head against Ashley's, muttering a string of curse words about Becky.

"I'll pick you up around 6:30pm."

I nod my head and watch pitifully as Ashley leaves the apartment. Right as the door is about to close she sticks her head back in.

"Oh and Spence?"

"Yeah."

She bites her bottom lip and lets her gaze roam my body.

"Wear something hot for me."

She winks at me and I'm left in my apartment with my dumbass roommate and my whole body tingling. I sigh and go to get Becky her damn toilet paper, not look forward to tonight's festivities at all.

I have made the horrible mistake of letting Becky help me pick out my outfit for tonight. I continue to look at myself in our bathroom mirror, turning this way and that, even tilting my head in different directions. I just can't seem to make the outfit go with me.

"Becks I would never wear this."

I add some whine into my tone for effect.

"Dude once again you look hot. Is that not what she asked for?"

"Yes she was quite specific about that."

I look at myself one more time and grimace at my reflection. I'm wearing a black lace bra and tight navy blue vest, that's it for my top. I've managed to wiggle myself into tight, black slacks that I bought almost five years ago. I glance at my watch and curse under my breath. I quickly pull my hair back into a messy ponytail and throw on some light makeup.

Ashley is already waiting in my kitchen when I walk out and I feel her eyes latch onto my body. I grin cheekily at her and saunter up next to her.

"Hot enough for you?"

I whisper in her ear and lay kisses down her neck, grinning when I hear what sounds like a growl escapes her.

"Spencer you look just…wow."

I smile warmly at her and we head to her car. During the entire drive I feel like there are a thousand butterflies darting around my stomach. My mouth drops as we pull up to what must be the Davies household. The house is huge and extremely intimidating. I already spot what must be Glen's car and feel sick to my stomach.

"Hey? Spencer, hey!"

I snap out of my trance and turn to face Ashley.

"Yeah."

"Come on, let's go."

We walk hand in hand to her door and we wait for someone to answer after we've rung the bell. The door flings open and an older looking version of Ashley pulls the actual Ashley into a hug.

"Oh Ashy! My baby, come inside and who is this beautiful woman?"

We are led into a large foyer and I go to shake hands with Ashley's mother.

"Mom this is my girlfriend, Spencer. Spencer, this is my mother, Christine."

I smile nervously at Christine and she pulls me into a tight hug.  
"Oh welcome to our home Spencer."

She releases me from her death grip and takes off at a brisk walk further into the house. I hear a giggle next to me and I scowl at Ashley.  
"What's so funny?"

"Oh nothing, you just looked like you were going to shit your pants when she grabbed you."

I slap her playfully on the arm and we follow Christine linked arm in arm. There are five other people seated around the dinner table. I recognize Kyla and Glen and the older man must be Raife, Kyla's dad but I don't recognize the other two girls. All eyes land on us as we walk into the room. Glen's jaw drops when he sees me and it causes me to smirk slightly.

"Hey everyone this is my girlfriend Spencer."

The older man gets up and hugs me.

"Hello Spencer, I'm Raife, Kyla's father. It's so nice to meet you."

I immediately notice his kind eyes and how they seem to sparkle, a lot like Ashley's do. Next to greet me are the two younger looking girls. As they approach Ashley grabs my hand and whispers in my ear.

"I'm apologizing for these two in advance."

I look at her with confusion but don't get a chance to speak.

"Hi I'm Kelly and this is my twin sister Jackie."

They both stick out their hands at the same time and I'm not sure who's I'm supposed to shake. Ashley chuckles and pushes both their hands down.

"Spence these are my two baby cousins."

"Hey we aren't babies, we are 16."

Both girls frown and take their place at the table. Ashley guides me to out two chairs which just happen to be directly across from Glen and Kyla. This is just fabulous. Glen has a look of is a mixture of anger and confusion written all across his face. He won't stop staring at me and I can't help but squirm under his glare.

"Hey stop fidgeting. It's ok I'm right here with you."

My whole body relaxes as Ashley's raspy voice fills my head and her hand rests on my knee.

The sound of silverware clinking against plates is the only noise for most of dinner. Ashley hasn't taken her hand off my knee which helps me stay relatively calm.

"So Spencer you must go to school right?"

I snap to attention at Christine's question.

"Yes ma'am I go to University of Illinois Chicago."

"Oh that's lovely dear but what are you planning to do with my daughter when it's time for you to go back?"

My mouth falls open and I look at Ashley with pleading eyes. I'm met with a crooked smile and a hand squeeze on my knee.

"Well mother we haven't really talked about it. We're just playing it by ear right now."

Now Glen's looking at me with clear disgust and I feel the anger boil within me. What a judgmental dick. Poor Kyla is looking from back and forth between me and Glen, clearly waiting for one of us to blow up.

"How long have you two been dating?"

Jackie or Kelly asks with a mouth full of food. I smile at Ashley and fall into her chocolate orbs.

"Well about a month and a half now."

She just stares back at me and we have a silent moment together.

"Really a month and a half, that long huh?"

Ah the asshole has spoken. He's looking at me like I'm garbage and it's going to make me hit him. Luckily Ashley cuts in.

"Yes Glen and we are very happy."

I can see him visibly back off, he's clearly afraid of getting into it with my girlfriend.

After an hour or so more of abuse Ashley and I leave the dinner. We hop in her car and speed back off to my apartment. I fling the door open and throw myself down on my couch.

"Well that wasn't too bad. Mom and dad seemed to really like you."

Ashley picks up my legs and puts them on her lap. She starts to gently massage my calves and my eyes roll back in my head.

"No that really was that bad. I hate Glen."

"Spence you do not _hate _him."

She continues to rub my legs and I think I might melt.

"He was looking at us with such disgust."

She stops touching me and it causes me to open my eyes and really look at her. She's smiling at me so lovingly. I notice the slight laugh lines on her face and realize they make her even more beautiful.

"I don't care how he was looking at us. All I care about it how you look at me."

"What do you mean Ash?"

"Sometimes you look at me like you've never seen me before. You seem to study my face and then sometimes you look at me with so much love it causes my chest to hurt. Then there are times that you look at me with such want it's hard to not jump you. But my favorite is how you look at me right when you wake up. You look at me like you've missed me all night and it causes my heart to skip a beat."

She tucks a stay strand of hair behind my ear and I gaze into her eyes. Yes here is someone I could possibly fall in love with and that idea doesn't scare me anymore.

**I wanted this up sooner but I've had some family things and I've been kinda sick. But here it is now and it's a little longer then I expected, lucky you! Thanks for all the reviews and such!**


	15. Chapter 15

**I own no part of SON **

**Sorry this took a while. Shits been getting in the way or should I say life.**

_I had the most reviews ever on the last chapter and thank you so much. A huge thanks to my long time readers who have followed from the start. You know who you are and I love you guys! Also a big thanks to those who have recently started reading my story. All the reviews are wonderful and very helpful in keeping me motivated to update, so thanks again! _

After Ashley left last night I started worrying and now I've been worrying for two days. I can't get what her mom asked me out of my head. What are we going to do when I go back to school? Do I ask her to come with me? Where would she stay? I already have a roommate up at school and what about her job and her life here? I've been pulling my hair out about this for two days now and Becky is starting to notice.

"Dude you have to quit thinking so hard, you're giving me a headache."

Becky cracks open two beers and hands one to me. I take a long pull and a deep breath.

"Ok Becks can I ask you for some advice?"

"Yes of course."

"And will you please take this seriously."

She sighs and leans against the kitchen counter.

"Alright I can see something is really wrong and I don't want you self-destructing again, so yes I will take this seriously."

I chug the rest of my beer and open myself another one, trying to erase the nagging feeling, it's not working.

"Ok Ash and I have been together for two months and I have one month of summer left, then I leave for school again."

I pace the room as I speak. I've heard it helps you think, again not working. Becky nods slowly at me and takes another swig of beer.

"Ok so you are asking me what you're supposed to do, am I correct?"

I nod vigorously and gnaw on my bottom lip.

"Any ideas would help Becks cuz I sure as hell have no clue."

"Spence I'm sorry but I can't really give you any advice on this one. You gotta talk to Ash and see what she wants too."

I groan and know that Becky is one hundred percent right. I have to talk to Ashley but I really don't want to. I know this might lead to some sort of conflict and things have been so great that I just don't want to jeopardize anything. I glance at the clock, 8 o'clock pm.

"Becks I'm going to Ashley's place. Call if you need me and I shouldn't be too late."

She waves me out the door and I take off at a brisk walk to Ashley's apartment. As I walk to her place I try and think of ways to approach the subject. By the time I reach her door I've got nothing. I knock lightly and wait to be greeted by a dazzling smile.

Just like I thought the door is thrown open and she smiles at me like I just bought her a fucking pony.

"Spence!"

She jumps into my arms and buries her face in my neck. I wrap my arms around the shorter girl and relax into her grasp. She pulls back and kisses me on the tip of my nose, quickly grabbing my hand and leading me inside.

"What are you doing here? I wasn't expecting you tonight."

She plays with my fingers that are still partially laced with hers. It's so innocent that it causes me to smile and she looks at me with questioning eyes.

"Ash we should really talk."

She drops my hand and her eyes immediately dart away from mine, I already miss the warmth of her stare. I can feel her pulling away and I suddenly understand what she must have felt all the time with me.

"Don't do that."

My voice and my hold on her wrist cause her to turn back towards me. She looks at me with tears in her eyes and it makes me chest ache.

"Are, are you breaking up with me?"

Her voice is a whisper and she sounds desperate, broken even. I take a step back like she slapped me and look at her with wide eyes.

"What?"

"I know that dinner freaked you out and you haven't been yourself recently and it just seems…"

I cut off her rambling by pressing my lips to hers. I kiss her deep and take my time while plundering her mouth. She wraps her arms around my neck and clings to me like it will be the last time we ever kiss. I pull back and start laying soft kisses all over her face. I'm taken by surprise when I taste tears on her cheeks.

"Baby, baby don't cry."

I pull her against me and sit us down on the couch. I rock her back and forth, whispering reassurances in her ear.

She sniffs one last time and scoots a little ways away from me on the couch.

"What did you want to talk about?"

She sounds like a lost little girl and I want nothing more then to kiss away her problems.

"Ash I just wanted to talk about how I'm leaving in a month. What you want to do about that and stuff."

She sits in silence for what feels like an eternity. When she does speak it is clear and confident.

"I'm coming with you."

I feel a weight lift off my chest and a grin break out across my face.

"Really?"

Her expression softens instantly and I feel her warmth next to me again. A soft hand comes in contact with my cheek and I lose myself in pools of brown.

"Really."

The one word answer is whispered against my lips and she falls on top of me, my back hitting the couch cushions. She grins wickedly at me and I feel my body react with a shudder. I run my hands down her back and pull her by the neck down for a kiss. I recognize the difference in this kiss. She kisses me hard and she thrusts her tongue into my mouth right away. As our tongues slide against one another I arch up into and detach our mouths to let a low moan escape me. She moves her mouth to my neck and nips at my pulse point. She then starts licking and sucking causing me to squirm under her. We don't hear the door open but do hear the squeak from Kyla.

"Shit sorry guys! Crap Ash, you said be here at nine and that's what time it is, shit!"

She quickly walks into a different room. My whole body is tingling with no where near fulfilled need and my heart is thumping like crazy against my body. I open my eyes to see that Ashley looks no better then me. In fact Ashley looks like she might just explode. She lets out a frustrated sigh and climbs off me.

"What the fuck is with this shit!"

My jaw drops at her sentence. Ashley never really cusses, ever. Her hands are tangled in her messy hair and her shirt is halfway unbuttoned, oops that's my bad.

"Hey Ash I'm gonna go but call me ok?"

She continues to frown as I lay a kiss on her forehead and excuse myself from the apartment. As I'm walking down her hallway a strong hand grabs my wrist.

"What the…?"

I'm greeted by the sight of a frowning Madison.

"Spencer we need to talk."

I look around us and notice we are alone, eh crap she's gonna shoot me or something.

"Suuure Madison, what's up?"

She finally releases my wrist and looks me dead in the eyes. I've never really taken notice to Madison but she's one scary bitch. She has her eyebrow pierced, her nose pierced, and her lip pierced but that's not the most intimidating thing about her. Her eyes are almost black, creepy I know. So now here I stand staring into her eyes and about to wet myself.

"I know she wants to go with you. I can't let her."  
Whoa bitch say what?

"Excuse me?"

Now I'm getting pissed and I like to think I can be scary so I take a step into her space.

"It's my job to protect her and do what's best for her. She just found some stable ground here in Ohio and I can't let her leave to be with you. Sorry but you're too unpredictable and too big a risk. I won't let you bring her down."  
My hands ball into fists by my sides and eyes narrow to slits. I don't even know what to say to the girl in front of me.

"You don't know what you're talking about."

Wow that was a terrible comeback, shit I suck at this.

"You'll hurt her and I won't let that happen. I'll do everything in my power to keep her here, that's a promise."

I can see it in her eyes that she is dead serious and that realization scares the living daylights outta me.

"Madison I thought you were ok with Ashley being with me?"

She scoffs and takes a step back.

"I never thought it would get this far."

She starts walking to Ashley's apartment while I stand there in disbelief. No way did that really just happen.

I walk back to my place still in shock. I go to my bedroom and shut the door behind me. I have to tell Ashley about this but I know it'll kill her. I go to bed and it takes me forever to fall asleep. When I do fall asleep it's a light slumber full of nightmares.

I stare at my cell phone as if hoping last night was a bad dream but I know it wasn't. I groan and punch in the number.

"Hey wonderful."

Her husky voice sounds even rougher, indicating that she just woke up.

"Sorry did I wake you?"

"Nah its fine I love hearing your voice so that makes up for it."

I hear her smile into the phone and I can't help but do the same. My face drops when I remember what I need to talk to her about.

"Ash I gotta talk to you about Madison."

"What about her?"

I can hear the obvious confusion and concern in her voice.

"Ash she kinda threatened me last night, told me she was going to make sure you stayed here and didn't follow me."

The only sound coming from the other end of the receiver is her unsteady breathing.

"Ashley?"

"No."

I didn't ask her a question, what does she mean?

"What?"

"Spence I just don't believe it, she was singing your praises last night."

I feel my blood boil and I grip the phone tighter.

"Ashley why the fuck would I make this shit up?"

I hear her sigh and it just makes me even more frustrated.

"I don't know Spence but I don't believe you for a second."  
"So you're going to trust her bullshit over me telling you the truth?"

I don't mean to raise my voice but I'm pissed.

"Spencer why are you yelling at me? She's my best friend what am I supposed to do assume she's lying?"

I can't believe this shit.

"So what you don't believe me? You think I'm a compulsive liar?"

"No Spence but maybe you want me to maybe like you better then her wh…"

I cut her off before she gets a chance to finish.

"That's bullshit Ashley I am not jealous of her. I know where I stand with you and I'm fine with it. I can't fucking believe you're taking that bitch's side!"

She gasps into the phone and I realize I might have crossed a line.

"Screw you Spencer!"

Then the line goes dead. It takes me several moments to realize we just had a serious fight and when it hits me I almost vomit. I redial her number and anxiously wait for her to answer.

"Fuck off Carlin."

Madison's sneer greets me when the phone connects. Before I get a chance to retaliate the annoying dial tone takes over. I can't believe she's running to Madison. I grab my keys off my desk and jog to my car. I know of a killer party tonight and I need to get away from the thoughts of Ashley.

By the time I'm ready and at the party my anger at Ashley has tripled. I start chugging drinks and before I know it I'm starting to see black. I remember feeling strong arms and being surrounded by the sharp scent of cologne right before everything fades to darkness.

**I might write another one tonight. We'll see…**


	16. Chapter 16

**I own no part of SON**

**Thanks to everyone who has joined this story and been reviewing a long time. I love you all. A big thank you to SONFANFOREVER, thanks so much and you are awesome.**

As I wake up I feel a warm body next to mine causing me to smile. When I open my eyes the first thing I notice that is way wrong is the arm is hairy and very masculine. I glance at the figure next to me and turn back, emptying the contents of my stomach on the foreign floor.

Oh God what have I done? I quickly dress and practically run out to my car. The entire drive home I feel sick to my stomach and not just because I drank too much. I hurry up to my apartment and go directly to the bathroom, where I puke again.

"Rough night eh?"

I turn to a smirking Becky with tears in my eyes. Her face instantly drops.

"I did something very bad last night."

"Spencer Carlin what the fuck did you do?"

I take a shuddering breath.

"I cheated on her."

Becky's hand connects hard with the side of my face. Shit that stings!

"HOW COULD YOU CHEAT ON HER? GODDAMNIT WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

I brush myself past my fuming friend and into our kitchen. I need water and aspirin.

"Shit Becks I know. I fucking know but we had fought and I was drunk…"

"Spencer that is not an excuse. God this will kill her but you have to tell her. I can't believe this. I was almost convinced you'd fallen in love with her."

The weight of Becky's words slam into my chest causing a whole new wave of nausea to hit me.

"God Becks that's the kicker, I think I am in love with her."

She shakes her head at me and stares at me with disgust.

"You don't do that to someone you love."

I feel new tears threatening to fall. Becky grabs her things and leaves me trembling in the apartment. I know I have to tell Ash, she'll dump my sorry ass.

Once again I'm standing in front of her door and feel so nervous I could puke, again. I knock softly knowing she'll hear it because I'm sure she's been waiting for me. The door opens slowly and my heart shatters at what I see.

Ashley looks like she hasn't slept all night and her eyes are red and puffy from crying. She's in ratty pajamas and her cheeks are still stained with tears that have been shed. She opens the door enough for me to slip in and I stand awkwardly in a place that was once comfortable to me.

"What do you want?"

She's standing far enough away so I can't touch her but her scent surrounds me.

"I came to apologize for last night."

She lets out an angry laugh.

"For verbally attacking me and my best friend?"

I lick my lips nervously, here goes.

"Yeah that too."

Her face pales noticeably and I pray that'll she'll forgive me one day.

"Spencer what do you mean?"

"I went to a party last night and I drank a lot and well I did something bad."

I watch as tears spill out of her beautiful eyes.

"Say it, tell me what you did."

Her once loving voice has turned cold and harsh.

"I cheated on you."

A sob jumps out of her perfect mouth and she turn away from me.

"Ash I'm so sorry, it didn't mean anything I was drunk and I don't even remember it."

I take a couple of steps toward her but stop when she turns back around.

"And that makes it ok? Is that supposed to make it hurt less for me?"

I stand there with my mouth opening and closing not really knowing what to say.

"Come on Spencer don't you have more reassuring words for me? I mean you only fucked someone else its no biggie."

I start crying harder and it scares me what I see in her eyes, I see nothing. It looks eerily familiar.

"No Spencer you don't get to cry or be sad, you did this. Just leave and don't try to contact me, I'm done with you."

I start to walk out of her apartment but pause in the doorway.

"You know I lo-"

"Don't even say it Spencer."

"-ve you."

Pain is etched across her face and it makes me want to kill whoever put it there, which of course means offing me but right now I wouldn't have a problem with that.

I sit in my apartment staring at the wall. I can't believe it's really over. Now when the ability to feel numb would be useful, all I feel is a deep ache in my chest. Becky returns to the apartment holding a quart of chocolate ice cream and two boxes of Kleenexes.

"Come here."

She holds out her arms for me and I throw myself into her embrace.

"Oh God what have I done Becks? She's really gone, she's gone."

Becky holds me close as I continue to sob and shake into her embrace. I finally stop crying but my body is still trembling. I pull back and look into Becky's eyes.

"What do I do?"

Becky walks to the fridge to grab us beer and sits down on the couch next to me.

"Give her some space for a while, then kiss ass like hell. Show her this isn't what you're like and let her know you love her."

I glance at Becky and see she really means everything she's saying.

"You believe me, that I love her?"

"Spence I can see the way you look at her and I can see how you are after you've hung out with her. You are a completely different person and it's a better person but right now you're not acting like you're in love with her. Are you sure you cheated on her?"

I close my eyes and try to find some memory of last night.

"Well I'm not sure I had sex but I know I at least made out with this guy, I think."

"Spence we should take you to the doctor because if you did have sex it was probably unprotected and you need to get checked for pregnancy."

Fuck I never even thought about me and the consequences, I've been to busy worrying about Ashley.

It's been a week since we broke up, a week of nothing but my job and sleep. There's only two and a half weeks left of summer then I'm off to Chicago, alone. I sigh as I spot the polished stone I'm looking for and kneel in front of it. I place the white roses where the old ones used to lay and trace his name.

"Oh Aiden I've screwed up. I fell in love and then I threw it away. She's wonderful you know, so full of life and beauty. She's painfully gorgeous and incredibly sweet and patient. It was too easy to fall for her and apparently even easier to toss it away. I want her back but have no idea how to do it. I went to the doctor yesterday, he said I was not pregnant but he couldn't tell if I'd had sex or not or if I'd been raped. So what do I tell her?"

"You tell her you love her."

My head whips around so fast I get whip-lash.

"Kyla what are you doing here?"

She sighs and sits beside me on the ground.

"I stopped by your place to talk to you and Becky said you were here. So this is him huh?"

Kyla and I have never really been close and we've never talked about Aiden. Maybe it should feel weird but strangely enough I'm comfortable talking about him to Kyla. Perhaps it's because I'm head over heels for her sister, who knows.

"Yeah this is the first person I ever loved. He was amazing, you guys woulda liked him."

She smiles and looks at his gravestone.

"Spencer I've been furious with you for a week now. I couldn't believe it when I heard what you did."

I hang my head in shame and don't even bother trying to speak.

"I know she's mad at you but a bigger part of her misses you terribly. She barely eats, she doesn't really sleep and I don't know if she's been showering. Every time the phone rings, or there's a knock at the door I can see her light up, hoping it is you."

I can't help the small smile that creeps onto my face.

"I miss her too Kyla, a lot."

She nods her head and stands up.

"She's at Madison's place."

And just like that a frown replaces my smile.

"Kyla I dunno if I should…"

"No Spencer I know this had something to do with Madison. She's always been real protective of Ashley and I've always thought she was a little in love with my sister but you have to go see her. Madison can see how bad she misses you too and how much it's hurting her. Maddie shouldn't give you any problems."

"Ok where does she live?"

Kyla gives me the directions and I figure it will take me about an hour to get there. I thank Kyla, give her a quick hug and jump in my car.

As I drive, I think about what I'm going to say and how I can fix this. Suddenly my phone goes off

_Oh, oh, Be my baby Ohhhhh Oh, oh Be my baby I'll look after you_.

Oh God I know that ringtone. I scramble to grab my phone and take my eyes off the interstate for two seconds but that's all it takes for everything to change. I hear an Earth shattering crunch, feel a flash of extreme pain, and then my world goes black.

**Tried to get this up by last night but I was pooped! I'll update soon I promise, I can't just leave you hanging with this one too long. Hope everyone has a good New Year's eve!**


	17. Chapter 17

**I own no part of SON**

_Once again thank you, thank you, thank you all for the reviews they make me laugh and keep me going. To anyone who's been effected by this story so far, I'm so glad that I'm helping make a difference in your lives. I love you all!_

The first thing I notice is there seems to be something stuck in my throat, second the lights are really bright, and lastly I hurt all over. I try to move my right arm but groan in pain, so I move my left up to my mouth where a tube runs from inside me to some machine. I try and talk but the only thing that comes out is me choking. Well that's enough of that. What the hell is going on? I blink until I can see clearer and look to my left where I see Becky passed out in a chair. I try calling to her but choke again. Ugh being awake hurts like hell.

A woman dressed in scrubs walks in to my room, scribbling on a clipboard. I grunt at her and she jumps. She rushes to my side and starts looking at all the machines. She runs out of the room and returns with a doctor and another nurse. The ruckus finally wakes Becky and she suddenly appears at my side.

"Oh my God she's awake. Is she ok?"

One of the nurses leads her outside and they finally take the tube out of my throat. With the tube gone I can feel how raw my throat is. I'm given more medicine, told to rest, and they'll check on me soon. Becky flies back in the room with tears pouring out of her eyes.

"Spencer I-I thought you were going to, to die."

I smile weakly at her and reach for her with my left hand.

"Come 'ere."

My voice is cracked and dry from not being used, it sounds awful. A sob rips through the air and Becks quickly grabs my hand. She kisses the top of it and lays a kiss on my forehead.

"W-What happened?"

Becky looks at me sympathetically.

"Spence you were in an accident. You were bleeding internally and you hit your head. You broke several ribs, one punctured your lung, and you separated your shoulder."

I groan and hit the pump that releases more of my medicine.

"How long have I been out?"

She looks away from me and licks her lips nervously.

"Over a week."

My head spins at this information and I feel slightly sick to my stomach.

"Becks has uh Ash been here at all?"

Becky brushes hair out of my face and smiles softly at me.

"Yeah Spence, she has. She actually left right before you woke up. She's been sitting here holding your hand the whole time; she just went home to shower and change clothes."

I hold onto this knowledge as I fall back into darkness, the medicine taking its toll on me.

Soft conversation is what I wake up to when I finally regain consciousness. I slowly open my eyes and try not to breath too deep, it hurts too much. My gaze instantly lands on the exhausted brunette clutching my hand. Ashley is oblivious to the fact that I'm now awake so I take the time to gaze at her and I feel my heart beat faster. Well that meant my machines start beeping faster and she glances down at me. Her eyes lock with mine and all I see in hers is pain.

"S-Spence?"

She seems almost afraid to say my name or really believe that I'm awake. I try to hold back the tears as I look at her but its not working. Becky quietly slips out of the room leaving us to do whatever.

"Ashley."

She doesn't respond just sits there and stares at me with tears in her eyes. My whole body is aching but what hurts the most is the fact that she's dropped my hand and won't touch me.

"I have to go."

She quickly stands up and starts to walk out.

"Please don't go, don't do this to me. I need you."

She turns back to face me with silent tears running down her face.

"Ok, for now I'll stay."

She sits back next to my bed and her eyes outline every scrap and bruise on my face. I place my hand over hers and she starts sobbing.

"I-I thought you were gone for good. Oh God Spencer they lost you twice in surgery and then they told us you might not wake up."

She holds onto my hand with both of hers and rests her forehead against them.

"Ashley."

She brings her head up to look at me.

"Yeah?"

My heart is racing with anticipation and it causes my ribs to throb but I don't care.

"Will you kiss me?"

She carefully sits on the side of my bed and leans over me. Her lips brush over mine and I cup her cheek with my good hand. She presses her lips to mine and pulls back way too quickly for my liking. Her fingers dance over my face and lightly touch the bruises. She gently strokes the worst cut, right over my eyebrow.

"You know I can't do this. You broke my heart Spence."

I nod at her and rest my hand on her leg.

"Someday Ash, you'll trust me again."

Ashley gives me a pained smile and quickly walks out of my room and I can tell she's crying. I try and even out my breathing and my heart rate. I have to find out if I really slept with that guy. I can almost see his face in my mind but it's still blurry. It'll come to me, it has to.

I stay in the hospital for several more days and everyday Ashley, Becky, and Kyla visit me. Ashley comes and just acts like a friend but every visit she leaves me with a lingering kiss on the cheek giving me hope that she's going to forgive me. Today is my last day at the hospital. Becky should be here soon to take me home and I couldn't be happier. Wait that's a lie, I would be happier if Ashley and I were together. Becky's beaming face suddenly appears right in front of mine.

"Ready to go home Spencer?"

She's grinning from ear to ear and I can't help it when I do the same. A young male nurse appears in my room with a wheelchair.

"Hi I'm Adam and I'll escort you to your car."

At the mention of that name my face drops and images flash through my head at an incredible rate. Oh. My. God. Because my right arm is still in a sling I grab Becky's forearm with my left hand.

"What Spence, what is it?"

"I remember Becks; I remember who I was with at that party."

She stares at me with wide eyes and her mouth hanging open.

"Ok let's talk about back home."

I get wheeled out to the car and Becky drives like a crazy person the whole way back to our apartment. When we arrive she helps me settle onto the couch. She gets herself a beer and me a glass of water.

"Ok Spence, spill."

I take a deep breath and start retelling what I remember to Becks.

"Adam Brooks."

She gasps and looks at me disbelievingly.

"Like Aiden's best friend Adam?"

"Yeah the very one. He found me at the party and we started talking about Aiden and high school. Then I think I puked on myself, he must have helped me change and then we crashed together on the bed. Becky there's no way we slept together."

She cringes and shakes her head.

"Yeah Spence you could've slept with him still."

I grin at her and she looks at me like I've lost my damn mind.

"No there isn't, he's gay."

I watch as my words sink in and then Becky lights up like fucking Rudolph's nose.

"Holy shit you didn't cheat on Ashley."

Now we're both sitting on our couch grinning like idiots. I feel like I could fuckin fly right now but my whole body is practically broken, so I'll pass on the flying thing.

"So should I call her or what? Do you think she'll believe me?"

Becky's grin disappears and she frowns slightly.

"I dunno Spence, she's really hurting and she might just think you've pulled this out of your ass."

I nod and bite the inside of my cheek.

"I have to find Adam."

My best friend nods and disappears. Where the fuck did she vanish to?

"Becks what the hell, where you at?"

She returns with a phone book and my cell phone.

"Let's get started!"

We call ten different Adam Brooks and finally the eleventh phone call pays off. He agrees to meet us at my place and he thinks we are all just going to catch up and reminisce but really he's going to be my proof that I didn't cheat on Ashley. We arrange for Ashley, Kyla, and even Madison to join us.

The first knock on the door makes me about pee my pants. I gingerly lift myself off the couch and open the door to a grinning Adam.

"Hey girl."

I laugh out give him a gentle hug.

"Hey Adam! What's up?"

He steps aside and reveals a shy looking blonde haired boy with green eyes.

"Spencealicious I want you to meet Brandon, my boyfriend."

I almost bounce up to Brandon and extend my left hand.

"Nice to meet you Brandon, so very nice."

I let them into the apartment and practically squeal with delight. This is so perfect.

About ten minutes later the door knocks again and my heart skips a beat. I leave Becky and the boys laughing in the kitchen to answer the door.

When I open the door I'm greeted by sparkling brown eyes and a warm smile. I fall in love all over when she presses a sweet kiss to my cheek.

"Hey Spence."

Her husky voice whispers in my ear and then she's gone while I greet Kyla and Madison. Before I get the chance to shut the door Madison gently pulls me out in the hallway. Right now she's the picture of remorse and I almost feel sorry for her, almost.

"Spencer I wanted to apologize and tell you I feel like this is all my fault."

"Ok and yeah it is kinda your fault but you know what, I don't even care because tonight I get her back."

I give her a pat on the back and strut back into my apartment with a very confused Madison following me.

My timing is impeccable as Adam starts talking about the party from a few weeks ago.

"Well and then I ran into my long lost bff, Spencey but the poor thing was absolutely hammered. She even puked all over herself which is a shame cuz she was wearing this adorable top, anywho so I tried to change her and then I put her in the bed with me so no perverts would rape her. You left real fast the next morning though sweetie, although I thank you for the wonderful treat you left on the floor."

I'm not looking at anyone but Ashley and I watch as her mouth falls open and realization sets in. She slowly raises her stare to meet mine and I give her a crooked smile. She stands up and grabs my wrist leading me to my bed room, closing the door behind us.

She brings both her hands up and holds my face.

"Spencer I need you to be completely honest with me."

"Always."

"Is he telling the truth? This isn't just some made up story to get me back?"

I grab one of her hand and lace her fingers with mine.

"No it's the truth baby, it's the truth."

She smiles at me through happy tears and lets out a light laugh of relief. I pull her closer and press my lips to hers. I kiss her long and deep, hoping she feels just how bad I've missed her and how bad I need her. I feel her sigh into the kiss and I pull back, letting my eyes roam over her features.

"Ash?"

"Yeah Spence?"

I open and close my mouth a couple of times before the words come out.

"I love you."

She delivers her famous nose crinkling smiles and her eyes dance.

"Oh I love you too, so so much."

She crushes her lips to mine and our tongues immediately find each other. I use my good arm and slip around her waist, pulling her even closer. She tangles her hands in my hair and slows down the kiss. She takes her time to fully taste me and we both pull back panting.

We grin at each other and walk hand in hand back to where the others wait. They all smile at us and Becky gives me a thumbs up. I laugh and press a kiss to Ashley's temple, whispering another confession of love against her ear.

**Thanks everyone for reading and reviewing but we ain't done yet! Stick with me there's more to come!**


	18. Chapter 18

**I own no part of SON**

_Thank you so much for the reviews, you guys are seriously amazing. Now I'm going back to college on Sunday so the updates might take a little longer but I will try to keep up with my writing. Thanks for reading and enjoy!_

"How's this one look?"

I grip the bottom of the chair harder and give her a pleading look.

"Great."

My voice cracks and I can almost feel a sweat breaking out on my forehead. Maybe I should explain. I agreed to go shopping with my sexy girlfriend, little did I know we would be swimsuit shopping. She's tried on a dozen or so bikinis and I don't know how much more I can take. I fidget in my chair as Ashley saunters toward me, clad only in the small bikini.

"Spence am I making you nervous?"

She's wearing a devilish smirk and her voice dips even lower. The arm that's in my sling is slightly wrapped in front of me and I grip my baggy sweatshirt tight. I swallow thickly and lick my lips.

"Uh nah I'm fine."

She sees right through my lie and straddles me where I sit.

"Ash anyone could see us!"

I hiss through my teeth but soon forget what I was saying as she starts kissing down my neck. I let my head roll to the side giving her better access. I feel her grin into my neck and she bites down hard. I hiss and arch into her, slipping my good arm to her back. I slowly begin untying the strings to her top as she continues to do damage on my neck.

"Naughty Spence."

She grabs my hand from behind her and stops my advancement. I whine in protest causing her to grin.

"Ash come on you can't keep doing this to me."

The doctor had instructed me no physical activity so that meant no anything with Ashley. And she was taking this seriously so there was just minor groping going on, very frustrating.

She gives me a deep kiss, sliding her tongue along my bottom lip. She finishes with a nip to the side of my lip and climbs off me. Ashley prances back into the changing room leaving me sitting there wanting more. Shit this shopping trip is going to be the death of me. I grin when Ash walks out of the dressing room, finally fully clothed, with the last bikini in her hands.

"Finally pick one?"

She grabs my hand and pulls me onto my feet.

"Your reaction to this last one made it impossible to turn down."

I blush and this must please her because she chuckles huskily in my ear. She buys her swimsuit and we continue to walk aimlessly around the crowded mall. As we walk I can't help but glance at her every few steps. Her curly, auburn hair is pulled into a messy ponytail and she's wearing jeans with one of my sweatshirts. I pull her close and press a kiss to the side of her head. I'm finding her irresistible today, which of course pleases her.

"Hey Ash?"

She quits rifling through clothes racks to acknowledge me.

"Uh huh Spence?"

She barely looks at me and continues her search. I've never seen anyone shop like this girl.

"Did Glen ever visit me at the hospital?"

She lets out a deep breath and looks me dead in the eyes.

"Yeah when you were unconscious he would come by every day but not when I was there too. Kyla says he's really bothered by us together."

I don't know what the think of this news. Should I be happy he came by even though I disgust him?

"Hey…Spence?"

I snap out of my thoughts and her concerned brown eyes meet mine. Her eyes are a lighter shade today and way too easy to get lost in.

"Sorry. What's up?"

"Do you trust me?"

I don't even hesitate when I answer.

"Absolutely."

She grins at me and grabs my good hand, leading me back out to her car.

"Ash where are we going?"

She revs up the engine and gives me a dangerous grin.

"You'll see baby."

We've been driving for over an hour and I can't feel my butt cheeks anymore. I fidget uncomfortably in my seat.

"Stop squirming we're almost there."

I roll my eyes and tear my gaze away from her. Sure enough about five minutes later she pulls to a stop at the top of some hill. I get out of her car and look around. We have to be in another state because Ohio doesn't look this beautiful. As I'm gawking at the scenery around me I feel two arms circle around my waist from behind.

"Ash where are we?"

She lays a kiss behind my ear and untangles herself from me.

"We are on the state line. The valley down there is actually Kentucky but you are currently in Ohio."

I smile and walk to the edge of the hill, looking down on the valley. There's nothing but green grass and trees for miles. I notice I'm standing there alone and I turn to see Ashley fiddling with her car stereo. I smile when I hear the song coming from the speakers.

_I set out on a narrow way many years ago_

A slender hand slips into mine.

"Dance with me."

It's not a question more of a command.

_Hoping I would find true love along the broken road_

_But I got lost a time or two_

The arm I would normally wrap around her waist stays pressed between us as she clutches my other hand and wraps her free arm around my shoulders.

_Wiped my brow and kept pushing through_

_I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you_

Her raspy voice sings along with Rascal Flatts softly against my neck as we sway to the music.

_Every long lost dream led me to where you are_

_Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars_

_Pointing me on my way into your loving arms_

_This much I know is true_

_That God blessed the broken road_

_That led me straight to you_

The sun starts setting, bringing out the different shades of her eyes. They seem to sparkle in the glow of the sunset and I press a gentle kiss to her lips.

_I think about the years I spent just passing through_

_I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you_

_But you just smile and take my hand_

_You've been there you understand_

_It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true_

She brings both her arms down and wraps them around my waist, laying her head against my chest.

_Every long lost dream led me to where you are_

_Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars_

_Pointing me on my way into your loving arms_

_This much I know is true_

_That God blessed the broken road_

_That led me straight to you_

"Baby your heart is racing."

She touches her hand to my chest and looks deeply into my eyes. I capture her lips with mine again.

"It always does that when I'm around you."

_Now I'm just rollin' home into my lover's arms_

_This much I know is true_

_That God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you_

She smiles at my answer and leads me to the hood of her car. We both lay down and I rest my head on her chest. Ashley sighs and starts running her fingers through my hair.

"I'm not going back to school."

I feel her whole body tense and her fingers stop moving through my hair.

"Wait, what?"

I sit up and she follows suit, staring at me with questioning eyes.

"Ash why should I go to school and waste money when I don't even know what I want?"

I watch as a crease forms on her forehead and she starts gnawing on her bottom lip.

"I dunno Spence that seems like a real bad idea. I mean have you even really thought about this?"

I grab her hand and kiss her palm.

"Yes I've thought about this and it's what's best for me. I need time to figure out what I really want and you know Chicago is missing an essential element."

"What uh, what's that?"

She blushes already knowing the answer and I find it absolutely adorable. When she shows me this side of her, the timid and innocent side, I fall in love with her all over again.

"You."

The drive back to my place is filled with comfortable silence. When we park in front of my building I smile at Ashley.

"Listen I'd invite you up but I'd be too tempted to do things I'm not supposed to."

This time I'm the one blushing and I hear her chuckle in response.

"Yeah I guess it wasn't fair of me to take you swimsuit shopping and then not really follow through."

I laugh and she leans over the divider of the seats, her eyes promising me so much. I close the distance and place my lips on hers. She captures my bottom lip between her teeth and I swear a growl escapes me. Ashley thrusts her tongue against my lips and explores my mouth. She starts pulling back and I try to follow her but my seatbelt stops my advances.

"Damnit."

I tug on the restraint and free myself. When I look at Ashley her eyes are lidded and she has her legs tightly crossed.

"I'm sorry I can't well ya know."

She smiles at me and kisses me quickly.

"It's fine; I just need a cold shower. Goodnight Spence."

I nod and kiss her forehead.

"Night Ashley."

As I'm maneuvering my way out of the car I feel her grab my sweatshirt.

"I love you."

I notice a slight blush creep on her face at her words and I smile widely.

"I love you too."

I stand in front of my apartment building and watch her drive away. I look to the twinkling stars and feel happy tears running down my face. In this moment I feel like my life is once again whole, instead if shattered pieces lying at my feet and I give all the credit to a painfully gorgeous brunette that drives way too fast.

**Hope ya'll enjoyed that! Thanks for the reads and reviews!**

Song is God Blessed the Broken Road by Rascal Flatts


	19. Chapter 19

**I own no part of SON**

**This took a lot longer then I wanted and I'm not sure I'm happy with it. I've been sick and had to move back into school. These past few days have been a blur. Again thank you to every single person who has reviewed! It means a lot!**

**Christian is supposed to look like James Franco from Annapolis **

"Spence I need you to be completely honest with me."

I nod at her and try to fight back the smile that is threatening to burst onto my face.

"Ok I think I can do that."

She gives me a small nod and takes a deep breath.

"Do I look fuckable in this outfit?"

I try and pass off my muffled laugh as a cough but she just scowls at me.

"Yeah Becks you look completely 'fuckable'. Nice term by the way."

Becky has been preening herself in front of the mirror for an hour now, which is 45 minutes longer then normal for her.

Tonight we're all going to some club and Becky has a boy she's bringing with us. Apparently he's a very nice boy, blah, blah, blah…I'll be the judge of all that when I meet him.

But Becky does look beautiful tonight. Her dirty, blonde hair is down in curls around her face and she has the slightest of make up on. Her green tank top causes her eyes to pop and sparkle. Yes my best friend looks good tonight.

"So what's this guys name again?"

I'm sitting on the bathroom counter as she continues to use the mirror to prepare.

"Christian and please, please play nice with him."

I scoff and tug at the sling still hanging around my neck. I'm getting sick of this damn thing but it hurts too much to not wear it. I've been ready for a long time now and I can't wait to see Ashley.

It seems so strange to me to have fallen so fast for this girl. I can clearly remember how long it took to have these types of feelings for Aiden. I was slow to trust him but when I did, I gave him everything. Now I love Ashley but we of course haven't finalized that love with a certain act. And if I'm going to be completely honest I'm terrified of having sex with her. I've never been with a girl, first off, and secondly it has been months, almost a year, since I last had sex.

I shake my head, trying to rid myself of these worries. I jolt to attention at the knock on the door. I know it either has to be Christian or Ashley and either way I'm excited to answer the door. I open the door to a handsome boy holding a single white rose. My God he's incredibly gorgeous. He's about 6'2 with shorter, wavy brown hair and dark hazel eyes. If I wasn't with Ashley I might have just jumped him.

"Hi is this where Becky lives?"

He has what seems to be a slight English accent.

"Yeah, hi I'm Becky's roommate Spencer."

He gives me a crooked smile and shakes my hand.

"It's very nice to meet you."

I step aside and let him into the apartment. He's dressed in dark blue jeans and a black button down shirt.

"So Christian are you from around here?"

We both sit on the couch and he looks extremely comfortable in this strange environment; I like that about him, he seems very at ease.

"No I spent about ten years in London as a child and then moved to the United States. I lived in New York until last year then I moved here."

"Wow impressive."

He chuckles lightly, giving me a warm smile.

Before I get the chance to interrogate him more Becks decides to join us. Christian stands as she walks in the room and he can't seem to take his eyes off her. I smirk as they stare at each other and contemplate making some snide remark but end up keeping my mouth shut.

The door knocks again and I scramble to answer it. I'm hit by a brunette blur as I open the door and I squeeze the girl now in my arms.

"I've missed you."

Her breath hits my very sensitive ear and I just grip her tighter.

"Me too."

I release her from my grasp and take the time to really look at her. She's wearing a white tank top with dark blue jeans. The jeans are super tight and are leaving little to my imagination. Her dark auburn curls hang loosely around her face. She's absolutely stunning.

"See something you like Carlin?"

I bring my gaze up to her face to see her smirking confidently at me.

"Eh not really."

I go to turn away from her but she grabs my wrist and pulls me into her. Her soft lips immediately land on mine and my knees go weak. She nibbles my bottom lip and pulls back.

"Let me ask again, see something you like?"

My eyes are still closed and I'm trying to remember to breathe. I open them and find her with a rather pleased look on her face. All I can do is nod dumbly at her before she waltzes into my apartment.

Damn she does this to me all the freakin time. She leaves me dazzled, confused, hot and bothered; I could go on and on.

I finally recover and find the other three laughing about God knows what in the kitchen.

"So who's ready to get this show on the road?"

I clap my hands together for effect and all three of them raise their hands.

"I'll drive tonight."

Christian volunteers quickly and I shrug my shoulders. Hey if he wants to forgo a whole night of drinking be my guest.

Ashley links her hand with mine as we walk to his car and the two of us snuggle into his backseat. Her fingers teasingly draw circles on the inside of my thigh the entire ride and when the car finally stops at the club I jump out as fast as I can.

I feel Ashley walking next to me towards the club and I turn to whisper in her ear.

"You're a bad person."

I allow my eyes to meet hers and she's sporting a wide grin.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

She's wearing the most innocent expression possible and I just roll my eyes at her.

The first thing I notice when we walk into the club is the smell. It smells like straight up sex. The second thing I notice is the dancing, it looks like straight up sex.

Ashley's eyes are wide with excitement and I can tell she loves this environment. The four of us grab a booth near the back and order some drinks.

Becky and the boy engage in conversation and basically cut the two of us off. Ashley starts fidgeting in her seat and eyeing the dance floor expectantly.

"Spence, wanna dance?"

Her eyes are sparkling and she's tugging on my good hand but I pull it out of her grasp.

"No I don't dance Ash, sorry."

She frowns at me and shrugs her shoulders then gets up and throws herself into the throng of dancing people.

I sip on my rum and coke as I keep a watchful eye on Ashley. She's swaying her hips to the music and flailing her arms around. She looks absolutely free. Wait, what the hell is this?

I spot two hands, which clearly aren't mine, on her waist. Then I watch as this brunette chick dances entirely too close to my Ashley. They are front to back and Ashley is letting this girl put her hands all over her body.

I pound the rest of my drink and turn to Becks. Christian went to the bathroom or something so now we're sitting her alone.

"Shit Spence you gonna let her do that to your girl?"

I scowl at the two brunettes grinding on each other.

"I shouldn't have to make her stop. Ashley should've stopped it a long time ago."

Becky nods understandingly and orders me another drink. My blood boils as I watch the strange brunette run her hands up Ashley's sides and onto her shoulders.

They dance like this for two more songs then Ashley comes bounding over to our table with red cheeks and glowing eyes, only right now I don't find it quite as sexy as I normally do.

"Hey babe."

She leans in to kiss me but I turn my head so she ends up only kissing me on the cheek.

"Spence what the hell?"

I face her and I know my blue eyes have turned dark with rage.

"Uh we are gonna go to the bar, um over there. Bye."

Becky grabs Christian's hand and they rush away from us.

"Were you having fun out there? Maybe you'd like to go home with that slut you were dancing with?"

My words are laced with venom and I refuse to look Ashley in the eyes.

"What? Come on Spencer we were just dancing."

I release a cynical laugh.

"You guys were practically having sex out there."

"It was not that bad Spencer, Jesus what the hell is your deal tonight?"

I shake my head and finally stare her dead in the eyes.

"Sorry for not liking other people with their hands all over MY girlfriend. I'm just going to go but you should stay really. I'm sure that skank wants another go at it."

I don't wait for her reply as I get up and leave the club. I text Becky as I'm leaving letting her know I caught a cab home.

As the cab drives me home I let the tears fall. I really can't believe she'd act like this tonight.

When I reach my door I find it slightly ajar. Shit someone broke in! I slowly push the door the rest of the way open.

"I-I called the police…and I have a gun!"

"I know you're pissed but are you really going to shoot me?"

I jump at the sound of her raspy voice.

"Christ Ashley! You fucking scared me and how the hell did you beat me here?"

I turn on the lights and spot her sitting on my couch with red, puffy eyes.

"I borrowed Christian's car, I drive fast."

She looks at me with remorseful eyes and I almost forgive her right there.

"What do you want Ashley? I'm tired I just want to go to bed."

She finally stands up and walks towards me.

"I'm sorry Spence, I didn't realize that our dancing was upsetting you and I never should've let that girl touch me. I just got caught up in the music. Do you forgive me?"

She finishes with the most adorable pout and I realize I forgave her as soon as I saw her on that couch.

"Yes I do but goddamnit don't do that again. It really does hurt Ash."

She smiles slowly and gives me a quick kiss.

"I'm gonna stay at my place tonight. Goodnight Spence. I love you."

She says the last part hesitantly; almost as if she's afraid I won't return the affection.

I use my good arm to pull her all the way into me and give her a heated kiss.

"I love you too."

I release her and she looks completely dazed. I smirk and push her towards the door but she almost runs into the wall. I laugh at her and she quickly recovers, leaving the apartment swiftly. I hear her drive away and I slump down on the couch.

My eyes slowly drift shut and I pray that no dreams of my family or Aiden will plague me tonight.

**Ah I'm so sorry this took so long. Thanks for reading and reviewing.**


	20. Chapter 20

**I own no part of SON**

**Here you all go, enjoy! Thanks for reading and especially reviewing. Woohoo hit the big 1-0-0!**

I'm pouting. I've been pouting since I hung up the phone after talking to Ashley. I mean I don't have a real reason to pout except I'm being childish. I have no problem admitting that I'm being ridiculous about this whole situation.

"Dude she's going to be gone like a week, so wipe that stupid looking pout off your face."

I glare at Becky as she continues to make what appears to be some sort of sandwich.

"What the fuck are you making?"

She doesn't look up at me as she stacks various layers on her sandwich.

"Well I haven't named it yet but for right now we shall call it the best freakin sandwich in the whole world!"

She finishes her declaration by topping her creation with the top slice of bread. I cringe as I watch her sink her teeth into the food and I swear I see Oreo crumbs fall out of her mouth.

"You are so disgusting how does Christian put up with your nastiness?"

She grins with sandwich still in her mouth, what a nasty bitch. She sits down next to me on the couch as I aimlessly flip through channels.

"Oh sweetie you're the only one that gets to see me this nasty, it's on of the perks of living with me."

She pinches my cheek similar to what my great Aunt Millie used to do. I slap her hand away.

"I'm going to my room to get ready."

As I'm walking away Becky yells at me.

"Wait what are you getting ready for?"

"Ashley!"

I shut the door rather forcefully and sink down onto my bed.

Ashley leaves tomorrow because some second cousin she met once died or something. She'll be gone a week since the funeral is in Texas. So tonight is her last night in Ohio and she has something special planned.

I think I'll die from her being gone that long. I mean we haven't been apart this long since we started dating. The way she spoke to me on the phone and the sound in her voice makes me think she just might miss me just as much as I'll miss her.

I get off my bed and gingerly take my sling off so I can get dressed. The task of dressing myself takes twice as long now. I slip into light blue jeans and a simple blue t-shirt. Finally I pull a black hooded sweatshirt over my head and wiggle into my Nikes.

The weather has turned cooler and leaves are starting to change colors. It's my favorite time of the year. Aiden and I use to go hiking on days like this. He used to say that the bright blue autumn sky couldn't hold a candle to the color of my eyes. I smile as I remember him.

I'm suddenly struck by how differently I react to the memories of him now. I used to cry and feel so much anger or pain. I was so angry he was taken from me. I hated the world but now I'm so glad just for the time I had with him. I'm thankful that his optimistic view of life and his unlimited kindness were in my life. Of course I still miss him and I'm still saddened when I think about him, especially the last few moments of his life.

I can still remember that the last thing he ever said was that he loved me, and then he kissed my palm that was cupping his cheek.

"SPENCER!"

I snap out of my thoughts at the sound of Becky's obnoxious voice.

"Be right out!"

I check myself one more time in the mirror and carefully slide my arm back into the sling.

She doesn't see me as I walk quietly towards her and Becky. I pause before she spots me so I can admire her. She's wearing everything I think looks incredible on her and I've never even told her what I like.

She has her hair pulled into a messy bun and her glasses are perched on her face. I smile at her old, tattered grey sweatshirt and ripped jeans. This version of her, the laid back Ashley, is my very favorite.

She has her hands shoved in the back pockets of her jeans while she stands chatting with Becks. I clear my throat as I walk in the room and Ashley delivers a nose crinkling smile, causing my stomach to flutter and my heart to race.

"Well I see I'm no longer needed in here."

Becky gives Ashley a quick hug and walks to me.

"Listen Spence, Christian is coming over can you try and stay with Ash?"

I chuckle at my best friend.

"Yeah sure Becks. Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

She laughs in my face at this.

"Yeah then I'd have no fun and be prudes like you and Ashley."

Ashley bursts out laughing and I slap Becky's arm.

"What the hell man?"

"Oh come on Spencer, I know you too haven't fucked yet, you've been way too uptight to have gotten any lately. Have a good night ladies!"

I stand there just opening and closing my mouth when I feel a soft hand grasp mine.

"Hey."

I bring my gaze to Ashley and let myself drown in sparkling, brown pools.

"Hi."

I feel a tension between us and I know it's from the club the other night. Things have been a little off since then but I'm hoping tonight will fix everything.

"Spence?"

We're still just standing in my apartment and she hasn't taken her eyes off mine.

"Yeah Ash?"

She licks her lips and steps closer to me.

"Can I kiss you?"

I feel the corners of my mouth twitch upwards into a smile.

"You never have to ask."

I feel her grin as she presses her lips to mine. She doesn't push it any further then just applying pressure.

"So where are you taking me?"

"Oh I've found out some things about you that I didn't know before so I have something I think you'll like planned."

She pulls a blindfold out of her sweatshirt pocket and grins like the devil at me.

"Oh come on Ashley, really?"

She just nods and leads me down to her car. Once I sit down she ties the blindfold around my eyes and I can feel her face close to mine. I turn my head and press a kiss to wherever I can, which happens to be right by her ear. I feel her shiver and her fingers shake as she finishes tying the knot.

The car ride to wherever is quick and it's starting to smell funny. Ashley helps me out of the car and takes me somewhere, sitting me down on what feels like a blanket. I feel her untie the blindfold and I gasp at the sight before me.

We are sitting on top of a grassy hill and slightly below us is a horse back riding arena filled with stadium jumps, illuminated from the night sky by several lights. I watch as riders guide their horses through a complicated course of rails and panels.

Ashley is looking at me expectantly and I throw my arms around her.

"Oh thank you. This means so much to me."

"Why didn't you ever tell me you used to do this Spencer?"

I lean back on my elbows and stretch my legs in front of me.

"It was something I did kinda with Aiden. When he died so did my desire for this but seeing it now feels incredibly refreshing."

Ashley gives me a quick kiss and runs to her car. She comes back with a bottle of wine and a container filled with something.

"Ok I don't have glasses so we'll be pulling straight from the bottle and these are chocolate covered strawberries."

As she rummages around trying to set everything up I realize exactly how lucky I am she stuck with me and I realize how much I do love her.

I grab her face with my good hand and stare deep into her eyes.

"I love you."

She runs her hands up and down my arm.

"I love you too."

"No Ashley, like I've fallen _in_ love with you, all the way."

I study her face as my words really hit her and I wait for her reaction.

"Oh wow…whoa, this is like a big deal for you to say this right, like because of everything…I'm going to shut up now and say what I feel…I've been in love with you for awhile now and you saying it to me makes me feel like…"

I watch as she struggles to find the right word, her face contorting into the most adorable frown.

"…like awesome."

I laugh under my breath and stroke her cheek with my thumb.

"Well crap that didn't even come out close to how I wanted it."

I laugh at her honesty and pull her in for a kiss. I let out a soft moan as she pushes her tongue through my lips. I allow my hand to tangle itself in her hair as she falls on top of me onto the grass. I pull away from her and moan deeply when her leg falls between mine, pressing down slightly. Her lips immediately latch onto my neck and she's biting, sucking, and licking all at the same time. She starts rocking against me and I-

"Ouch shit that hurt."

Fuck she accidentally allowed too much pressure on my bad shoulder. She realizes her mistake and jumps off me like I might burn her.

"Crap Spence! I am so sorry."

I groan on the ground and grab at my shoulder with my other hand.

"It's…ok…it…doesn't…hurt…that…bad."

I bite my lip to try and keep the tears from running down my face. It feels like someone just took a sludge hammer to my shoulder.

I feel her kneel next to me and she starts running her fingers all over my face.

When I look at her she has tears in her beautiful eyes.

"Hey, you can't cry I'm the one that's hurt."

She lets out a strangled laugh and helps situate me so I'm leaning my back against her chest as she wraps her arms around me.

I allow a big sigh to escape me as I watch the competition below us.

"This feels perfect doesn't it?"

I smile at her question and turn to kiss her chin.

"Yes, yes it does."

**I'm going to try and get another chapter done this weekend but I have a large class load so I've been super busy. Thanks for staying with me!**


	21. Chapter 21

**I own no part of SON**

**BAM! New chapter. I'll try and get another one up soon. They're way more fun then homework. Love you all and I hope you had a good weekend!**

2 days 11 hours 42 minutes and 29 seconds…

2 days 11 hours 42 minutes and 30 seconds…

2 days 11 hours 42 minutes and 31 seconds…

"Would you stop staring at the clock already? Christ you're acting like such a freak!"

For the past 2 days 11 hours 42 minutes and now 58 seconds, I've been sitting at the kitchen counter watching the hands move around the clock. Or in simpler terms I've been sitting here since Ashley left. I guess its driving Becks crazy; she doesn't know the half of it. I feel like a fuckin lost puppy.

"Beeeeeccckkkksss I want her to come hooooome."

I whine at Becky and let my forehead slam down onto the counter. Ouch shit that kinda hurt. I bring my head off the counter and rub where I slammed it.

"Yeah you dumbass that probably hurt. Listen Christian and I are going out tonight and he's bringing his friend, so you should come too."

Hmm maybe I should go out and have some fun. I mean I could use a good drink and good music. But what if Ashley tries to call while I'm out? What if she calls and hears all the noise from me being out and she thinks I'm out cheating on her? What if-

"Stop it."

I quirk my eyebrow in confusion.

"What?"

Becky sighs and rolls her eyes.

"I can see what you're thinking. She'd be fine with you going out so stop trying to come up with a reason not to come with us."

I narrow my eyes at her and bite my bottom lip in contemplation.

"Fine but you're buying my drinks because I'm depressed."

Becky throws up her hands in defeat and I know I've won.

"Fine whatever go get ready."

I grin and shove her with both hands. Ah yes I said both I got approval to no longer wear the sling yesterday, of course _after_ Ash had left.

I relish in the feeling of being able to dress normally and I'm beginning to feel kinda excited about going out. I haven't really been out since that night Ashley and I fought at the club.

I know I'm in love with her, like there's not a doubt in my mind so when images of that slut with her hands all over Ashley makes me see red. Maybe I overreacted that night but I don't think I did. She's mine, mine to touch like that, to kiss, to hold, and to love.

I grin to myself as I finish getting dressed.

There's a knock at the door and I practically skip to answer it.

I open the door and pull the man standing in the doorway in for a hug.

"Spencer! How are you?"

Christian gives me a quick peck on the cheek.

"Ready to have some fun! And who's this?"

Behind Christian stands a tall guy with dirty blonde hair. He has a warm smile and kind blue eyes that seem to shine.

"Oh I'm sorry, Spencer this is Bobby, Bobby this is Spencer."

I smile genuinely at him and shake his hand.

"Very nice to meet you Spencer, I've heard a lot about you from these two."

I quirk my eyebrow at him and frown at Christian.

"Only good things I hope."

I finally realize he still has a hold on my hand and I pull away quickly. I turn away from Bobby and walk to the kitchen.

I can feel him following me closely.

"So Bobby where are you from?"

He leans against the counter and watches me as I finish cleaning the kitchen before we all head out. He has what is almost a wistful look in his eyes and it makes me kind of nervous.

"Oh well I've been living in New York my whole life, that's where I met Christian but I moved here with him."

"Oh what do you do here? I mean this is a big difference from New York."

Bobby laughs lightly at me and runs his fingers through his hair. Now that I'm really looking at him I notice just how good looking he is. I'm so surprised he isn't taken. What is with all these gorgeous New York boys coming to Ohio?

"We are both lawyers and we came out here to start our own practice. Little did we anticipate him finding the girl of his dreams."

We both grin and look towards the living room where our friends are locked in a passionate embrace.

"Ok here's what's really bugging me Bobby, why aren't you like dating someone or married or something? You're a good looking guy."

Bobby laughs a deep rumble of a laugh and it warms the room causing me to smile.

"Oh well that's an interesting story full of complicated shit, so basically I have terrible luck."

Christian and Becky join us with smiles on their faces and hands linked by their sides.

"Ready to go? We were thinking something simple like dinner and drinks."

Becky sounds so happy and it warms my heart. She deserves this happiness she's finally found.

I nod and grab my coat. We decide to walk to the diner on the corner. You know the one where Ashley normally works. I tried to get out of it because it'd just remind me of her but Becks told me to suck it up and deal.

Dinner was filled with easy conversation and most of the time I found myself talking solely to Bobby. He is a real sweet guy and so easy to talk to.

Now we are at some local bar drinking beers and I've been left alone with Bobby while Christian and Becky dance slowly in the middle of the dance floor.

"He really likes her you know?"

I set my beer down and steer my gaze towards my best friend. They are pressed against each other, swaying gently to the music.

"Yeah I know and she deserves it."

Bobby pounds his drink and grabs my wrist.

"Spencer you wanna dance?"

His bright blue eyes seem to sparkle and I miss the twinkling chocolate eyes of my girlfriend.

I let out a sigh and bite my bottom lip.

"Bobby I uh don't think that's a very good idea."

His smile falters briefly but he quickly recovers and releases his hold on me.

"Ah you have a boyfriend, don't you?"

I let out a light laugh and he gives me a quizzical expression.

"Yeah I'm in a relationship already and they wouldn't like it if you and I really did anything."

Bobby runs his hand down his face and orders another drink.

"See, I told you I have the worst luck. I mean I meet the most beautiful girl in the world and she's taken. Does he tell you that, does he tell you you're beautiful every day?"

I feel the blush crawl up my neck and reach my cheeks.

"Bobby stop…"

"No don't blush because you are so beautiful and smart and wonderful and if you don't realize it you need someone in your life who lets you know every day that you're those things."

He's gazing at me with an intense look and I can tell he's being sincere about what he's saying.

I place my hand on his shoulder and give him a small smile.

"Bobby you are SO sweet and I thank you for it but I am in love with someone. They may not use words to say all those things but I can get it all from every look, every kiss, and every touch."

He nods his head in defeat and there's a sad look in his eyes. I feel really bad for him so I pull him into a hug.

He squeezes me tight and then sits back down.

"So since we are clearly not going to date how about being friends?"

I grin in response causing him to mirror my action.

I spend the rest of the night talking and laughing with Bobby. Being around him is easy and his presence is comforting.

Becks and I walk with looped arms back to the apartment. The boys had work in the morning so Christian wasn't staying with Becky tonight.

Becky stops us by the park and leads us to a bench.

"What's going on Becks?"

She grabs my hand and holds it with both of hers giving me a concerned stare.

"Spence you love Ashley right?"

I'm so confused right now.

"Yes very much, what's going on Becky?"

She looks so worried about something and I can tell it's not easy for her to say.

"Just be careful with Bobby ok?"

Becks rubs her hand on my leg reassuringly and I still don't see why she's so worried.

"Dude I know he likes or I guess liked me but I told him it wasn't going to happen. It's fine."

"Well you didn't see the way he was looking at you all night. He really, really likes you, like he looks at you like Ash did before you guys started dating."

Hmm that might be a problem. He's a nice guy but I'm in love and I will not risk losing her.

"Listen Becks you won't have to worry about me and I still wanna be friends with him. I'll just make sure there's plenty of space in regards to him and me."

Becky beams and hugs me close. I wrap my arms around her and kiss her forehead.

We finish walking home and I notice the bite in the air, winter will be here soon. My cheeks and ears are flushed red with cold by the time we reach our apartment.

"Alright I'm pooped I'm going to bed Spence."

She pats my shoulder as she walks by and I hear her door shut quietly.

I plant myself on the couch and wait for my phone to ring. While I'm waiting I let my mind wander.

Thoughts of Aiden, Bobby, Glen, and Ashley swarm throughout my head. Ugh it's all so confusing. I mean I still miss Aiden even with Ashley in my life and a part of me still is in love with the boy. Plus I feel guilty for falling in love with Ash. Then there's Bobby who, if I wasn't with Ashley, would be perfect for me. So I feel bad turning him away but he doesn't stand a chance against her. Finally there's my asshole brother.

He left me a message yesterday.

_Spence I need to talk to you. Call me._

That was it. No I'm sorry once again for being an ass or I'm glad you survived that horrific car accident you were in or maybe I'll stop being an ass to you and your girlfriend.

_Oh, oh, Be my baby Ohhhhh Oh, oh Be my baby I'll look after you_

The sound of Ashley's ringtone jerks me from my brooding and I quickly pick up the phone.

"Ash, hey."

I smile as I answer the phone.

"_Mmm I miss you."_

Her raspy voice is even rougher and it tells me she's tired.

"Ash it's late you should get some sleep I'm sure you're exhausted."

I hear her yawn through the phone.

"_Nah I'm not tired…so…what are you wearing?"_

I can practically hear her smirking and I roll my eyes, which I'm sure she knows I'm doing.

"Nice try Ashley. Go to bed. I love you."

"_I love you too wonderful."_

I hang up and change into my pajamas. I crawl into bed and sigh as my head hits the pillow.

I stare at the other side of the bed that is usually occupied by Ashley. I stare until I can almost see her lying there and I close my eyes, allowing myself to drift to sleep, images of Ashley filling my head.

**Thanks everyone who reads and/or reviews I love getting your feedback, it keeps me motivated to update as soon as I can!**


	22. Chapter 22

**I own no part of SON**

**Ashley on the phone is in italics, just some fyi. A quickie for ya! Love you all, of course! Enjoy!**

I have now picked up the phone three times, started dialing his number, and then hung up. It's not like I'm afraid of him but I really have no idea what he wants. I frown at the cell phone resting on the counter. I must look ridiculous, like a crazy person that doesn't know how to properly use the phone. Or maybe more like a predator circling its prey. Ooo that is a way cooler image, yeah so I'm a predator, big and brave.

I drag my hands through my hair one last time and snatch the phone off the counter. I punch in a number that I wish I didn't have memorized.

He picks up on the first ring.

"Spence?"

He sounds like he's been crying; I don't feel sorry for him.

"You don't get to call me that you asswipe. Now what do you want?"

I hear clinking from his end of the line and the rustling of papers.

"She, she left me and you're the only one who can help. Please help me."

"What the hell are you talking about Glen?"

I aimlessly wander around my kitchen, what the hell am I going to have for lunch?

"Kyla, she left me."

I freeze and close my eyes slowly. Now Kyla and I aren't the closest but I do like the girl. I figured she'd tell me about this, I mean it involves me because of her and Glen.

"Why did she leave Glen?"

Now he's sobbing on the other end of the line and it takes several moments for him to calm down. I hear him take a deep breath and I wait anxiously.

"She is mad about, about the way I've handled…"

He pauses and it's a long pause, almost as if he has decided against telling me.

"What Glen? What the fuck is she mad about?"

When he responds I almost drop the phone.

"SHE'S MAD I'VE TREATED YOU AND ASHLEY LIKE SHIT OK!"

My jaw drops but I snap it close quickly, my anger swiftly replacing my shock.

"Yeah well you deserve it you dick."

"Please I need her. She's all I have and, and I love her. Don't you understand?"

Ashley's face flashes through my mind and I feel a pang of sympathy for my stupid fucking brother.

"Yeah Glen I do understand, I truly do and you shit on me and the person I'm in love with. So tell me why should I help you?"

I lower my voice and allow him to really hear the hurt in my voice.

"God Spencer I've screwed up so much when it comes to you and I wish I could take it all back. I am happy for you and I do care about you but you have to realize how shocked I was when you walked into that house. I knew Ashley had a new girlfriend but that it was you I didn't see coming. Please forgive me, please help me."

Maybe it is the fact that there is a full moon or maybe it's because I've been listening to a lot of Elton John recently but I feel sorry for him and give in to his pleading.

"Fine I'll help your pathetic ass, what do you need me to do?"

I hear him let out a deep breath he must have been holding and he starts talking very quickly into the phone.

"I need you to meet up with Kyla and I'll just happen to be there or something and then you can show her how you and I are ok…or something?"

I switch the phone from one hand to my other, my patience starting to wane.

"Glen you really have no idea how to get her back, do you?"

"Uh no, not really."

I pinch the bridge of my nose with two fingers.

"Listen Glen I'll just talk to her but you have to do better, understand? We'll try the whole family thing again and this time don't act like such a fucking asshole."

"Yeah, yeah I promise. Oh my God thank you so much Spencer. I promise you won't regret this!"

"Whatever."

I mumble out some sort of goodbye and hang up the phone.

Now I'm not even hungry all thanks to that dickwad of a brother. I rub my temples and clench my jaw when my phone goes off.

I snatch it violently and fling it open.

"What?"

"Whoa I thought we were friends?"

Bobby's surprised voice takes me by surprise.

"Oh sorry I thought you were someone else."

"Hey don't worry about it. What's wrong?"

I groan and let my head fall back.  
"Family shit."

"Wanna talk about it over lunch?"  
I glance at the clock, 1:23pm, yes definitely lunch time. I seriously consider telling him no until my stomach grumbles in protest.

"Yeah sure, why not? Meet you at Louie's in ten?"

I hear him smile into the phone. We both hang up and I dress in sweats. I make the short walk to Louie's and notice Bobby already sitting in a booth near the windows.

He spots me right away, smiling warmly and waving me over. He continues to smile as I slide into the booth across from him.

"Hey Spencer. It's good to see you."

I laugh and wriggle out of my coat.

"Oh quit with the pleasantries Bobby. Can't we talk like real friends?"

A faint blush hits his cheeks and he ducks his head down.

"I'm sorry but you make me nervous."

Man this guy is unbelievable.

"I'm sorry Bobby did I do something to make you feel this way?"

I push my glasses further up my face and take a long sip of my Dr. Pepper.

"Nah this kinda happened as soon as I saw you and realized I like you."

He leans back and lets his gaze rack over me. Now normally I would feel violated, unless it's Ashley, but I don't feel uncomfortable under his stare. Maybe its because I know him and know he won't do anything to me.

We spend the rest of lunch laughing and talking.

He pays for the meal even though I threaten his life. Apparently I'm not as scary as I thought.

"Well I had a really good time thanks Bobby."

I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and I answer without looking to see who it is.  
"Hello?"

"_That's all I get, hello?"_

I mouth one minute to Bobby and squeal with delight at the sound of Ashley's husky voice.

"Hey baby I miss you. How's that?"

She chuckles throatily and I'm hit by just how much I miss her.

"_Hmm that's better. Whatcha doin?"_

I cringe guiltily and glance briefly at Bobby.

"Oh I'm having lunch with a friend. Now I'm going to watch Without a Trace re-runs until I pass out."

I try to give her details that will lead her away from asking about my friend but she's too smart for that.

"_What friend, Becky?"_

"No baby one of Christian's friends that I met the other night."

She pauses for several beats and I'm afraid she's angry with me. Although she has no reason to be mad, I'm allowed to have outside friends, right?

"_Oh well cool, I'm glad you have found someone to entertain you until I get back. Which by the way I have some good news…"_

"What? Tell me, tell me!"

"_I'll be home late tomorrow night!" _

I am embarrassed to say I actually shriek at her news.

"Oh my God! That's like three days early. I'm picking you up from the airport then!"

I lower my voice for the next declaration I have,

"And then I'm showing you how much I've missed you."

Apparently I was speaking quietly enough because a rather nasty frown plants itself on Bobby's face.

"_Oh God Spence, don't talk like that. Mmm I've missed you. So I'll see you tomorrow night around 11pm. I love you baby."_

"I love you too, bye."

I hang up with a huge smile on my face and Bobby just looks like he's in pain.

"Well I had a good time but I gotta go."

His words come out rushed and he walks away briskly.

I know that must have sucked for him to listen to but he has to understand that I'm dating someone.

I watch him walk away and hope that he's going to be ok.

As I walk home the sky seems bluer, the grass greener, and the sun seems to be shining brighter. And I'm sure it all has to be due to the fact that she'll be home and in my arms tomorrow night, I can't fuckin wait.

**This one is a little shorter but I just pounded it out in like an hour or so. This is in case I don't get one done this week! Thanks for the reads/adds/reviews!**


	23. Chapter 23

**I own no part of SON**

**I think this one turned out good! Enjoy and love you all! Let me know what you think.**

They didn't let me come alone. They are all here. When I say they I mean: Kyla, Madison, Becky, Christian, and even fuckin Bobby. He doesn't even know her but here he is, standing weirdly close to me with a slight frown on his face.

"Where is she already? Her plane was supposed to land over half an hour ago."

I impatiently ask the same question I've been repeating for the last fifteen minutes.

"Well whoever 'she' is, you shouldn't wait for her; you're too beautiful to be with someone who would keep you waiting."

I scream as I whirl around and pull Ashley into a strong embrace. She holds onto me like she hasn't seen me in years, her luggage carelessly dropped at her feet.

She pulls back from me slightly and traces her fingers all over my face before grinning and leaning in to kiss me. I faintly hear someone choke behind us but soon the only thing I hear is our pounding hearts and the only thing I feel is her lips on mine.

I feel everything behind her kiss. I feel need, want, love, and even pain.

When she finally pulls back whistling and cat calls ring through the airport thanks to our wonderful companions.

Ashley giggles and buries her face in my neck and I can feel her flushed cheeks against my skin.

Kyla grabs Ashley and pulls her off me and into her own arms. I stand next to Becky and watch as my girlfriend is welcomed home by her friends.

"Uh Spencer are you like with that girl?"

Bobby whispers right into my ear, his whole body almost pressed against mine and I immediately notice Ashley's angry glare fix on him.

I grab him by the wrist and pull him away from the others.

"Yes Bobby we're dating. I thought our little kiss would've told you that."

He rubs his eyes and rakes his fingers through his hair.

"Oh I didn't know. I was hoping it was some guy and I could just beat the hell outta him. Then you'd be mine."

He grabs my hand and laces our fingers together. His eyes reflect pain and I feel sorry for him but forget all that when I see a very pissed off Ashley approaching us. I drop his hand and push past him, launching myself into Ashley's waiting arms.

She wraps her arm around my waist as we walk to Christian's car.

"What is with that guy?"

Ashley's words come out in a snarl and I kiss her cheek.

"Hey he just has a little crush, play nice."

She stops us short of the car and delivers a rough kiss. It's full of passion and possession. Her tongues greedily shoves its way into my mouth as her hands resting on my hips pull me flush against her.

She pulls back and her kiss leaves me trying to catch my breath.

"I'm not playing nice with a guy who's trying to steal what's mine."

She whispers in my ear, laying kisses down to my neck and finishes with a quick nip.

When I open my eyes her's are dark and smoldering. I nod quietly and we walk hand in hand to the car.

I frown when I see the seating arraignment. Christian is driving, Becky's sitting up front, and Bobby is in the back, where we'll be. Shit this is going to be a disaster and it's like a 30 minute drive back to our small town.

"Baby I'm sorry I didn't know it'd be arranged like this."

Ashley frowns slightly but then smiles warmly at me, what the hell is wrong with her?

"You are not sitting next to him. I'll sit in the middle."

I watch as Ashley plasters a fake smile on her face and slides into the backseat next to Bobby. I take a minute to compose myself then slide next to Ashley.

She immediately places her hand on my thigh and as the car starts to move, she starts nuzzling my neck. Soon the nuzzling turns into kissing my neck.

I understand immediately what she is doing, she's marking her territory and I can't really complain. I chance a quick look at Bobby and he's gaze is fixed out the window, a look of hurt etched on his face.

I bite my lip trying to hold back a moan as Ashley bites my neck hard.

"Alright knock it off I can see and hear what's going on back there. You guys will have time for that later, Jesus."

Becky throws an empty water bottle at us for effect and then continues talking softly to Christian.

Ashley pulls her face away from my neck and brushes her lips over mine.

I press my lips against her ear,

"I love you Ash."

I bring my gaze to meet hers and her eyes are sparkling. I've missed falling into her stare. She cups my cheek with her hand and runs her thumb over my lips leaving a burning trail from her touch.

"I love you too."

She whispers the words and threads our fingers together, seemingly done torturing Bobby.

He hasn't moved an inch since we've gotten in the car and I can see he's trying to block it all out. I really do feel bad for the guy.

"So Becky where are we headed, because I know you didn't just pick me up because you're a nice person."

Becky laughs at Ashley's question and they start talking about the bar we are all going to hit up but my thoughts are elsewhere.

I love the fact that Becky and Ashley are actually friends. It's so comforting to know that your best friend likes your significant other, especially when your best friend was best friends with your ex. I smile as laughter fills the car and I know Aiden is happy for me and would love the girl laughing into my shoulder.

We pull up to Louie's, our favorite spot, and I notice Kyla's car is already there. I pull out my phone and send a quick text. This earns me a curious expression from the brunette next to me.

"Who could you possibly be texting? We're all right here."

I chuckle at her and just pull her into Louie's with the others.

"There they are! I was wondering when you were coming. Come on Ash you're dancing with me!"

Kyla pulls Ashley away from me again and Ashley mouths an 'I'm sorry' as she's dragged away.

I join Becky and the boys at the bar while the two sisters and Madison dance. Her laughter fills my head as I watch her twirl to the music, her auburn curls bouncing around her shoulders.

"You glad she's home?"

The English accent brings my attention back to my current company. A grin breaks out onto my face and I nod my head.

"Yes I really missed her."

Christian laughs softly and wraps an arm around Becky's shoulder.

"Yeah Becky mentioned how miserable you were a few times."

I scowl at Becks and she sticks her tongue out at me.

I notice Bobby's being quiet and there's several empty shot glasses sitting in front of him.

"Hey stranger, you ok?"

I sit on the stool next to him and he looks at me with glazed eyes.

"Sure, if you mean ok by the girl I've been searching for is with some other chick, then yeah I'm fucking great."

I rest my hand on his shoulder trying to reassure him.

"Oh come on Bobby there are tons of girls out there just waiting for you."

He rests his hand on my hand that's sitting on his shoulder and looks at me with eyes filled with pain and confusion.

"I don't want those other girls, I want you Spencer."

He leans towards me and I take a step back, pushing him back gently.

"Whoa Bobby, nuh uh. I'm not kissing yo-"

SMACK!

The sound echoes throughout the bar as Ashley's hand connects with the side of Bobby's face. She then proceeds to pounce on him and start slapping the shit outta him.

"DON'T FUCKIN TOUCH HER! SHE'S MINE YOU ASSWIPE!"

I pull the raging Ashley off of a drunken Bobby.

"Ash quit, stop, CALM DOWN!"

My yells finally placate her and I pull her outside.

"Spencer what the hell? He was trying to kiss you. I wasn't going to sit back and let him get away with hitting on you."

I rub my hands up and down her arms trying to soothe the enraged brunette before me.

"I know Ash but I had it under control."

Her face hardens and she's refusing to meet my gaze.  
"Is this what it was like the entire time I was gone?"

This time I'm the one who gets angry.  
"Are you implying that I've cheated on you?"

Her face immediately changes from angry to worried.

"No, no baby. I meant was he chasing this whole time?"

"No Ash I've only known him a couple of days and he's my friend. I really do enjoy talking to him."

Our conversation doesn't get to go any further as I spot a familiar figure walking towards us. Ashley feels me stiffen and follows my gaze, frowning at what she sees.

"Glen."

She says his name with the utmost dislike.

He smiles weakly at both of us and focuses his attention on me.

"Thank you for inviting me."

I can practically feel Ashley's eyes widen in surprise and I squeeze her hand.

"Yeah come on let's go inside."

Ashley says nothing, just clenches her jaw and tightens her hold on my hand.

When we enter the bar the shit hits the fan. Christian rushes up to me and Ashley as Kyla walks briskly up to Glen.

I don't hear the Kyla, Glen conversation because at the moment Christian is lecturing my girlfriend.

"Shit he's drunk you didn't have to slap the shit outta him. He barely knew what he was doing! Bloody hell!"

I try to stifle my laugh as his accent comes out the clearest I've ever heard it.

"Listen I'm sorry I hit your friend but I will not tolerate him hitting on Spencer! She's my freaking girlfriend."

Christian sighs heavily and finally cracks a smile at Ashley.

"That was quite the smack."

She chuckles in response and leaves to check on Kyla.

"Where is he? Is he ok?"

Christian looks surprised at my questions.

"Becky's taking him home right now. You tread a thin line with these two Spencer, be careful you don't step off."

He gives me a hug and walks off to call Becky.

I slump onto a bar stool and crack my neck. Jesus today has been crazy. I now realize it's going to be rather difficult to have Bobby and Ashley in my life. He's a great friend but I will not stand for him putting my relationship in jeopardy.

I smile as she approaches me and hold out my hand for her to take. She slips her hand in mine and pulls me into her embrace.

"Let's go."

She mumbles against my hair and presses a kiss to my temple. We say our goodbyes and make the walk to her apartment. The stars twinkle in the sky as she fishes her keys out of her purse and I start feeling nervous.

Her apartment is unusually clean and I wring my hands nervously in front of me.

"Wow crazy evening huh? Want a water?"

She's digging around in her fridge, completely unaware of how scared I am.

"I love you Ashley Davies."

She pulls her head out of her fridge and tilts her head at me with a crooked smile on her face.

"I love you too. What's going on?"

I hate but love the fact that she can pick up on my emotions so quickly.

"You scare me."

**I hate to leave it like this but the chapter is getting a little long and the next chapter should be chalked full of good stuff ;) Enjoy and I'll try to post ASAP**


	24. Chapter 24

**I own no part of SON**

**I am so sorry it has taken this long! I feel like such a failure! I apologize to all my readers, college sucks.**

"_You scare me."_

I feel two warms hands cup my cheeks and a sweet kiss lands on my lips.

"Don't be scared, I've got you now."

I feel her body jump as I fling my arms around her neck and hold her tight.

"Promise you won't leave me Ash, promise."

Her arms encircle my waist and she buries her face in my hair.

"I promise Spencer."

I pull back and kiss her deeply. As we stumble into her room our clothes are discarded along with all my fears as she shows me that I'm never going to be alone again.

As I wake up I register two things, first my body is aching deliciously and second Ashley is snoring softly beside me. A soft smile spreads on my face as I watch her sleep. She is even more beautiful in the early morning glow. She looks so peaceful in her sleep and I lightly brush my fingers down her face. She twitches slightly at my actions and uses the arm wrapped around me to pull me even closer to her.

"I love you."

I am careful to not let my whisper wake her. I'm surprised when I hear a mumbled reply.

"Mmhmm I love you too Spence."

I grin and nestle into her body even closer. I relish in the smell that is uniquely Ashley.

"What are you thinking beautiful?"

Her husky voice brings my attention back to her. Her chocolate eyes are half closed and still filled with sleep.

"Oh I was just thinking how much things have changed in just a few short months. Did you ever think all this would happen to us?"

I watch as she contemplates my question, her face contorting into an adorable frown. She props herself up on her elbow, slightly hovering above me.

"Well all I know is that when I saw you at that party I at least wanted to make out with you."

I roll my eyes and give her a playful shove.

"I thought you were completely crazy that night! You show up out of nowhere and kiss me, I was so confused about you yet fascinated at the same time."

She laughs lightly and runs her fingers through my hair.

"You mean to tell me that you weren't instantly in love with me after that amazing kiss that night?"

"No I knew I was in love with you the day after my birthday, at the graveyard. You didn't give up on me."

A soft smile graces her face and she presses a soft kiss to my forehead.

"Well Spence, I knew I loved you that day at the lake. It was the first time I'd seen you really happy and free. You were so beautiful and so cute about my car, it was impossible for me not to fall in love with you."

I lean up and kiss her quickly.

"Oh listen I promised we'd meet Becky and them for breakfast this morning."

I cringe waiting for my girlfriend's response. She collapses back down on the bed and lets out an exasperated sigh.

"What time?"

I glance at the clock by her bed, oh shit.

"Uh five minutes ago."

"WHAT?"

Ashley's shriek bounces off the walls and she shoots off the bed into her bathroom.

Ten minutes later Ashley and I are walking into the restaurant hand in hand. We quickly spot the others and Ashley releases a soft growl when she spots Bobby sitting with them.

"Oh. My. God. You two totally fucked last night!"

Becky shoots out of her chair as she squeals with delight. I feel a blush flash across my face and Ashley giggles next to me. I give Becks a hug and sit next to a disgusted looking Bobby and across from, to my surprise, Glen and Kyla.

They seem to be much better because they are whispering to each other and giving each other sickingly sweet kisses. Ashley sits on the other side of me and pulls my chair closer to hers.

"Ash what are you doing?"

She presses her lips dangerously close to my ear as she whispers.

"I'm not letting that ass get any ideas with you, so you can sit extra close to me."

I nod my head and squeeze her hand. This jealous, possessive side of Ashley is kind of sexy and I cross my legs tighter under the table.

"So Spence, Ashley, tell me everything."

I rub my forehead, trying to keep myself from throwing something at Becky.

"I really don't think we need to discuss this right now. Ok Becky?"

She lets out a loud laugh and just nods her head at me.

Bobby stays quiet throughout the whole breakfast and I feel like I should say something to the guy.

I turn towards him after reassuring Ashley that nothing is going to happen.

"Morning Bobby. How are you feeling?"

He gives me a sheepish smile and sets his fork down.

"I want to apologize to you about last night. I was really drunk and I never should have tried to kiss you."

I smile warmly and rub his arm.

"Hey it's ok Bobby, I won't hold it against you. Although I can't say the same for Ashley."

He rubs his face and nods.

"Yeah well she got me good last night so hopefully she's done punishing me."

I smile and chat with Bobby the rest of breakfast. Ashley and I part ways as I head back to my apartment with Becks in tow.

"No for real Spence was it everything you thought it would be?"

I just roll my eyes and continue to pull her towards the apartment.

**Ok this one is really short but I just wanted to give you something. I'll try and work on it some more soon but I have a test tomorrow so it might be a while. Thanks for reading/reviewing. Love you all!**


	25. Chapter 25

**I own no part of SON**

**Thank you all, I love you.**

Much to my dismay Becky has convinced me to spend a day with just her. She even said no calling Ashley. So now my stupid roommate is off somewhere in the apartment hiding my phone. Apparently she wants my undivided attention.

"Are you done yet? Fuckin crazy bitch."

I mumble the last part under my breath but apparently not quietly enough.

"I heard that and yes I am done. Now for a day of best friends!"

She's grinning like a maniac and I'm seriously considering having her put on a funny farm. I smile to myself at the idea of Becky locked away in a padded room.

"Why are you smiling like that? It's creepy, knock it off."

She brushes past me and grabs two waters out of the fridge. I generously accept one and take a long pull from the bottle.

"Remind me again why we are doing this? I'd much rather be with Ashley."

I throw myself on the couch and rest my legs on Becky's lap.

"We're doing this because whenever we hang out these days it's always with Ashley and Christian too. I miss you so we are doing this, so quit your complaining!"

She uses a joking tone when she speaks but I can see that she truly does miss me. I grin and sit up.

"Ok fair enough."

Becky's face drops in amazement.

"You mean you're not going to fight me on this, like no yelling?"

I let out a full laugh.

"Nope no fighting. So what are we doing oh wise one?"

A grin bursts on her face and she quickly stands up, grabbing a jacket.

"Come on! I'll show you what's in store for today!"

She bolts out the door and I hurry to catch up to her.

After an hour or so of driving the car finally stops in front of some questionable looking hut with ATVs parked outside.

"Four wheeling? You're taking me four wheeling?"

She's got a shit eating grin on her face and she hurries out of the car.

"Oh hell yeah I booked us a two hour ride, just you and me my friend."

I laugh and follow her into the strange looking building. I actually start feeling excitement as I dress in my gear and grab my key.

Becky throws a backpack over her shoulders and gives me thumbs up as she climbs aboard her ATV.

I grin as my vehicle roars to life and I take off down the path. Riding on the ATV is strangely freeing as trees and bushes whip past me.

I let out an exhilarated yell as I push the four wheeler even faster. Images flash through my mind: Aiden's bloody last minutes, Ashley's sparkling eyes, Becky's sad demeanor, Glen's remorseful apology, Ashley's anger, and Ashley's forgiveness.

I shoot through a stream, dirty water splashing onto my clothes and goggles. I slow the ATV to a stop and pull my helmet off, my hair cascading around my shoulders.

I take in a deep breath as I wait for Becky to join me, relishing in the cool forest air. I smile as I hear her four wheeler stop beside me and her ecstatic voice rings throughout the quiet forest.

"This is so friggin sweet! Hey about a mile up we are going to stop and do lunch, so I'll lead this time!"

Becky takes off, spraying me with mud. I push my helmet back on my head and take off after my best friend.

We stop at a small clearing and we both take our helmets off. She has mud all over her face except where her goggles sat on her face and I burst out into a fit of giggles.

"What? What's so funny?"

I continue laughing until there are tears streaming down my face, creating a path on my own mud caked cheeks.

"Wipe your face, you look ridiculous."

She grins sheepishly and wipes her face on her arm.

In Becky's backpack there are two turkey sandwiches, two waters, a bag of BBQ chips, and two chocolate chip cookies.

We munch quietly on our food, too tired to hold a conversation.

After we finish I feel much better and decide to get on with the whole "bonding" thing.

"So you and Christian are getting pretty serious."

I watch as a lazy smile drifts over her features and her face clouds over all dreamy like.

"Yeah he's great. I really like him Spence, and I'm really glad you get along with him too. But what about you and Ash huh? Things getting really serious with you two."

I set down my water and gaze up at the blue sky.

"I love her, plain and simple."

Becky lies down next to me and turns her face to look at me.

"I'm so happy for you. I really am, you two are adorable together and I can tell she really cares for you too."

I smile at Becks and grab her hand.

"Well Becks, I'm happy for you too."

We sit in silence for several more minutes before Becky breaks it again.

"Spencer?"

"Yeah Becks?"

She takes a deep breath and sits all the way up.

"I know I've mentioned it before but be careful with Bobby ok? I can see he has the potential to destroy what you have with Ash."

I consider telling her differently but I see the reason in her warning and just nod my head instead.

We finish our tour and the car ride home is a silent one.

As we pull up to our apartment we see two figures sitting on the curb. I instantly recognize Christian's tall frame and Ashley's sexy one.

I bite my cheek to keep from laughing and Becky rolls her eyes at them.

"They are so pathetic."

As the other two recognize my car they both light up and exchange high fives. I scoff at them and turn to Becky.

"We should really just leave them here."

She laughs and parks my car, still chuckling as we both clamor out of the vehicle.

"What have you guys been doing? You're bloody filthy."

Becky and I laugh at Christian's reaction.

I try to pull Ashley into a hug but she takes a step back.

"I'm not touching you when you're that gross."

I scoff at her and the four of us make our way into the apartment.

After we both shower Becky and I nestle down next to our beaus to have a movie marathon.

I'm a little embarrassed to say we both ended up passing out after the first 20 minutes of the first movie. What a perfect day.

**Here's another one. I really hope you all decide to stick with me and finish reading the story. Thanks again for the reads/reviews/adds!**


	26. Chapter 26

**I own on part of SON**

**First I would like to apologize to the readers who were expecting more out of the sex chapter. Yes I wrote it descriptive and detailed but then decided against it because to me this story is not about sex, so the short and edited version got posted. So a warning to my readers if you're looking for sex scenes, find another story. With that said I thank every one who reviewed or read. You are all being incredibly patient with my weird, sporadic updates and I thank you. Things are about to pick up in the story so be prepared! Love you all, like always! **

"No."

"Speeeencer pleeeeease."

"Absolutely not, no desire."

An irresistible pout forms on her face and I avert my gaze in order to survive the attack.

"But Spence I want you up there with me. Come ooooon."

I shake my head and take a rather large bite out of my grilled cheese sandwich. I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand and swallow my food.

"Ashley, listen to me."

She stares at her shoes and crosses her arms in front of her, her jaw firmly clenched. I know this pose it translates to 'I'm pissed, I'm not getting my way, and now I'm going to throw a fit.'

"Ashley look at me."

She brings her gaze up to me and I cringe at her expression. Oh she's really pissed about this one.

"Ok maybe don't look at me like that."

Her glare falters slightly as the corners of her mouth twitch up towards a smile.

"What Spencer?"

She accents the fact that she's using my full name, knowing I prefer for her to call me Spence. I clench my teeth, this woman can be impossible sometimes. I mean the girl doesn't know how to accept not getting what she wants!

"I am not going to be in that wedding. This is just the one thing that is not open for negotiation. Ok?"

She rolls her eyes and grabs her keys off the counter.

"Fine! Whatever!"

Ashley then proceeds to stomp out of my apartment and slam my door on her way out.

I stand there fuming and pound my fist down on the countertop. Ugh, this woman will be the death of me. She's just ah…and the pathetic thing is I find the pissed off version of Ashley sexy. I admit, I find every version of Ashley sexy.

The door opens and I don't bother to hide my disappointment when Becky walks through the door.

"What did you do to Ashley?"

I finish off my sandwich, it was delicious, and give Becky the best eye roll I can.

"She's mad because I refuse to be in Glen and Kyla's wedding."

Becky throws some groceries on the counter and lets out a laugh.

"She stormed past me on the street and said something about you being an ignorant slut."

I feel my blood boil and I let out a frustrated growl.

"Seriously I have no idea what her problem is, she's acting like a child."

"Maybe you two just need a night apart. You guys spend way too much time together if you ask me."

I close my eyes and run my fingers through my hair.

"First off, I wasn't asking you and second, you're probably right."

Becky chuckles and throws me a beer.

"Ok I'll call Christian and cancel ou-"

"No, no, no don't cancel your plans because my girlfriend is being an imbecile."

I watch as she contemplates her options and almost spit out my beer when she yells.

"Aha! I've got it! But you have to promise to keep your hands to yourself, got it?"

I stare at her, trying to figure out what she's talking about. She really is just confirming what I've thought all along, that she's certifiably insane.

"What are you talking about Becks?"

"I'm calling Christian and having him bring Bobby. I like that guy but if he tries any funny business with you and Ash, I'll kill him."

My eyes widen at her words and the look in her eyes tells me she's not messing around. I grab another beer and slip into my room, sighing with relief at the satisfying click of my door.

I stand in front of my dresser and smile at the only two frames on it. One contains the picture of me and Aiden, the other is of me and Ashley. It's a picture from one of our wine nights and in the picture she was trying to get me to make out with her while everyone in the room was cheering us on. The image captured was of the two of us grinning into a kiss.

I stare at the two pictures and lightly run my fingers over Aiden then Ashley's face. I love them both.

Deep voices coming from the living room cause me to break out of my thoughts. I grab my beer and pull my sweatshirt tighter around my body.

When I walk out Christian and Bobby are already playing Guitar Hero while Becky cheers them on.

Two cases of beer later and the four of us are very drunk just sitting around the apartment.

"Oi I don't think I've been this bloody plastered in eons."

Becky and I giggle incessantly at Christian's drunken accent.

"There is no way I'm letting you two try to drive home. So, Christian you're with me and Spence find somewhere for Bobby to crash. G'night guys."

I watch as Christian scoops Becky up into his arms and carries her to her bedroom. He actually did a pretty good job considering how drunk he is.

So now here I sit with Bobby, alone. This is not good.

"Where's your girlfriend tonight?"

He sounds rather pleased that she's not here.

"Ashley and I had a mild disagreement today so we're both cooling off right now."

Bobby gets off the floor and seats himself rather close on the couch.

"I'm sorry to hear that."

I note the faint smile on his face and glare at him.

"No you're not."

He smiles widely and finishes his beer.

"You're right I'm not sorry. But it's what I'm supposed to say, not that I could love you better than her."

I push myself off the couch and flick him in the forehead. A satisfying red mark appears where my fingernail hit him.

"Bobby knock it the fuck off. You have to quit hounding me; I love Ashley, no matter how much of a pain in the ass she's being I still love her."

He simply smiles drunkenly and leans back against the couch.

"But when she lets you down, I'll be here waiting to hold you."

I let out a disgusted scoff and walk to my room, leaving Bobby on the couch.

I know he is only talking like this because he's hammered and I know he'll apologize in the morning but right now I kinda hate him.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE HALF NAKED?"

The shrill yells of a pissed off Ashley wake me from my slumber and I bolt out into the living room.

There stands Ashley holding two coffees and Bobby with only boxers on. Ah shit this is not going to end well.

"No, no, it's not what you thi-"

"Shut up douche. I wanna hear Spencer explain this."

Ah so she has spotted me.

"Listen Ashley nothing happened. He and Christian came over after you freaked out on me and stormed out on me."

Her face turns dark at the mention of her earlier behavior and I realize I probably shouldn't have called her out on it.

"So you're trying to say that me 'freaking' out is solely my fault?"

This has to be a trick question; I really don't see a good way of answering this.

"You know what Ash; yeah it was your fault. You acted like a complete psycho."

"I'm just gonna go in your room Spencer."

Bobby quickly exits the room to slip into my bedroom.

"How many times has he been in there?"

What the hell? She's lost her damn mind.

"You are being completely ridiculous, seriously. He's my friend, nothing else. Why are you acting so psychotic?"

Judging by her enraged expression I should stop calling her crazy.

"You know what I came over here to apologize to you and you call me crazy and what not so I'm leaving."

I grab her by the wrist and stop her from leaving.

"Whoa you don't get to just stomp out of here again. You're the one that started it this morning. You start accusing me of all sorts of shit as soon as I see you. What have I done wrong Ashley? Hmm? Tell me."

She pulls herself free from me and shoves my coffee into my hands.

"Enjoy your coffee."

And with that she waltzes out of my apartment, slamming my door again.

When I turn around Becky, Bobby, and Christian are all standing in the hallway with wide eyes.

"Dude what the hell?"

I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding and shake my head.

"I dunno Becks, I dunno."

**Ok look three chapters in two days! YAY! I might even get another one done today if you're lucky! Thanks for the reads and reviews.**


	27. Chapter 27

**I own no part of SON**

**Just like before I love you all! Thanks so much!**

She does not look sexy in that dress....

She does not look sexy in that dress…

She does not look sexy in that dress…

I am mad at her…

I am mad at her…

I am mad at her…

No dirty thoughts…

No dirty thoughts…

No dirty…

Ah crap this isn't working and to make matters worse her leg keeps brushing against mine under the table. She is the definition of beautiful tonight but her expression towards me is cold as ice.

Here we are all sitting at her parent's dinner table celebrating Kyla and Glen's upcoming wedding and she can't even pretend to not be mad at me.

Becky must see my upset expression because she gives me a sympathetic look while shoveling food in her mouth.

Ashley's parents sit at either end of the long table while Glen and Kyla sit on the side opposite of me and Ashley. Becky is sitting next to me and Madison next to Kyla. Glen's groomsmen can't get here until the night before the wedding.

As far as her parent's, Glen, and Kyla go Ashley and I are happy as clams. Our two best friends know better.

"Ashley how's it going with Spencer?"

Raife's kind voice breaks the deafening silence. Ashley slowly brings her eyes up towards her step-father and gives him a sickeningly sweet smile.

"Oh things are perfect dad, just wonderful."

To try and be convincing she presses her lips to my cheek, the first intimate contact we've had in days.

To help her charade I grab her hand and give it a squeeze as I give Raife a smile.

I can tell everyone is convinced, well except Becky and Madison.

As dinner ends everyone retires out to the back lawn but Ashley starts walking towards the front.

"Dude go after her. I swear to God Spencer, sometimes I think you're brain dead."

I give Becks a small shove and follow Ashley upstairs to what must have been her old room. The room is very similar to her apartment in that it has instruments and papers everywhere.

She stands with her back to me and I notice she's shaking ever so slightly. I don't know if I'm allowed to touch her so I just shut the door gently behind me and wait for her to make the first move.

When she turns to face me what I see makes my chest ache. For the first time I notice just how tired she looks and how much she's seemed to age in these past few days. I can tell she's holding in the tears and her face is contorted into a sad type of grimace.

"You know, today before this dinner I tried to remember why we're fighting."

"Ash…"

"No let me finish."

She seems to be gaining momentum because she doesn't seem as upset as before, so I just nod my head.

"And I couldn't remember whose fault it was or who started it or who had said the harshest words. So I told myself if you just looked at me like you love me today or even smiled at me I'd let it all go. I'd kiss you until I couldn't breathe anymore."

I actually feel my heart break at her words. Her voice is low and broken sounding and I decide I'd rather have her yelling at me then talking to me like this.

"But when I saw you, you didn't smile or even look at me. There was this frown on your face that caused me as much pain as being away from you these past few days has. I'm just so-"

"GIRLS? WE ARE HAVING CHAMPAGNE ON THE DECK! COME ON!"

Christine's shrill yell interrupts Ashley and she just gives me a pathetic smile before starting to walk away.

"Wait."

I grab her hand and she turns towards me.

"Let's just finish this later Spencer, ok?"

She sounds so defeated, so beaten down that I know better then to argue with her. For the first time in days she holds onto my hand as we walk.

As we make our way onto the back deck she drops my hand, walking away from me to be with Madison and Kyla.

I grab a flute of champagne and down it in one gulp.

"Whoa did it go that bad?"

Becky magically appears beside me ready with more champagne.

"I am such a piece of shit."

"Well yeah I could have told you that."

I deliver Becky a deadly glare and she shuts up immediately.

"This is serious Becks; I've never seen her like this. She's so hurt right now, I suck."

Ashley stays at her parents home while I drive back to the apartment with Becky.

When we arrive home I immediately lock myself in my room and collapse on my bed. I lay on my back staring up at the ceiling trying to figure out what went wrong.

After several frustrating minutes I decide to go for a walk.

"Becky! I'll be back soonish so don't worry!"

I grab a light jacket and start walking down the street. My legs automatically carry me to an all too familiar area. I take a deep breath before pushing my way through the cold, iron gates.

As his tombstone comes into view I notice a figure huddled over it. I walk faster to them and frown in confusion at who I see.

"Bobby what are you doing here?"

He startles and drops the single white flower he is holding onto Aiden's grave.

"Jesus Spence, you scared me!"

I walk a little closer and cross my arms.

"Ok, but again what are you doing here?"

He turns his attention back to where Aiden lays and his forehead furrows in thought.

"I had to come meet him, the guy you were in love with. I've heard so many stories that I dunno I just felt kinda drawn here."

A clap of thunder echoes through the sky and a cold breeze blows through my hair.

"Yeah he was a great guy, the best actually."

Bobby smiles sweetly and wraps his arm around my shoulders. This simple act of comfort shatters my emotions and I wrap my arms full around his waist, sobbing into his chest. His strong arms pull me closer and I feel him press a kiss to the top of my head.

"Shhh Spencer, calm down. It's ok babe, easy."

I finally control my breathing and allow myself to stay in his embrace for a minute longer. I pull back and hastily wipe the tears from my face.

"Thank you Bobby."

He smiles as the rain starts to fall and pulls my hood over my head.

"I told you when she let you down I'd be here."

I frown and step further away from him.

"Oh Bobby she didn't let me down, this is all my fault."

He grabs my wrist and pulls me under the nearest tree.

"What happened?"

His face shows genuine concern; he really is a good guy.

"Oh we've been fighting about stupid shit and then today I had the chance to fix it all, make it go away and I didn't."

The rain falls harder and blends in with the tears that flow from my eyes.

"Hey you guys will figure this out. It'll be ok."

We walk together back to my apartment in the rain. Surprisingly Bobby is able to lift my spirits considerably and I'm laughing as we both stumble into the apartment.

My laughter dies as I spot Ashley sitting on my couch waiting for me. Upon seeing us she stands and scowls at my companion.

"Hey I'm just going to go. Call me later or something, we'll grab lunch."

He gives Ashley a slight head nod, pats me on the back, and quietly exits the apartment.

We stand there eyes locked, neither of us saying a word. I walk slowly towards her and I can feel my heart pounding against my ribs.

"Spencer I freakin came over here to fix this and you're out with hi-"

I cut her off by pressing my lips to hers. She's quick to respond kissing me back as tears stream down her face. I press my rain soaked body against hers and her body instantly warms mine.

I pull back and stare at her face. She's taking shallow breaths and her eyes stay closed, even when I run my fingers across her face, wiping tears away as I go.

"I've missed you."

My whisper finally gets her eyes to open and I stare into eyes that have finally returned to looking at me lovingly.

"Oh God I've missed you too."

She pulls me into a tight embrace and lays a gentle kiss against my neck.

We both know that whatever has been happening isn't over but right now we'll ignore the problems and try to fall in love all over again.

**Songs I was listening to as I wrote this were….Mad by Ne-Yo, Everytime We Touch (slow version) by Cascada, and Broken by Secondhand Serenade.**

**Thanks for the reads/reviews!**


	28. Chapter 28

**I own no part of SON**

Its two hours later and we're both sitting at the kitchen counter, coffee mugs in hand. I've changed into dry clothes and she's changed into one of my shirts.

Two hours and neither of us have said a word. I've been racking my brain trying to find the reason for our fighting but all I can remember is her freaking out for no reason. Previous experience has taught me not to bring that up.

She's not looking at me but staring off into space with a slight frown gracing her beautiful face.

"Ash this is stupid. This whole fight is stupid and I'm sorry I let it get this far, especially since I don't even know why we are fighting."

She takes several seconds to respond and when she does she speaks slowly with purpose.

"I know why we're fighting. It's because I'm extremely jealous and you've continued to hang out with Bobby even though you know it pisses me off."

She takes a slow drink of her coffee while I digest what she's just said. Yes I've kept hanging out with him even though she doesn't like him but I should be allowed to hang out with who I want. She still hangs out with Madison and I think she's a total bitch.

I know I have to choose my next few words carefully. Ashley seems to be in a fragile emotional state these past few days.

"Do you're saying that you want me to stop hanging out with Bobby? That's what this is all about?"

Again she takes her time responding to me and it's driving me crazy.

"Yes mainly he's the problem."

"Ok he's part of what's wrong what else is going on? There's something you're not telling me."

Ashley sets down her coffee mug and runs her hand through her auburn curls.

"I was just PMS-ing that first time I snapped on you then you didn't come after me. You didn't fight for me like I've been fighting for you since I met you. Then as the days went by you didn't even make an attempt to fix this and I became angrier with you. But as angry as I was I missed you that much more."

I stand up and walk quickly to her chair, taking her hand in mine.

"Ashley why didn't you just say something."

"Because I shouldn't have to Spencer."

She stands abruptly, wrenching her hand from my grasp. I follow suit and stand up.

"Oh come on Ashley I'm not a mind reader."

"Spencer I'm not asking you to be a mind reader. I'm asking you to take into consideration my feelings. Do you know what you've put me through these past few months, especially at the beginning?"

My jaw drops; I can't believe what I'm hearing.

"Well damn I'm so sorry this has been so hard on you! I forgot you were the one with the recently murdered boyfriend; oh wait no that wasn't fucking you, it was me!"

Angry tears run down my face and now she's the one standing there with her mouth hanging open.

The door opens and Becky walks in.

"You should leave."

The growl in my voice tells Becky not to question my words and she quickly slips back out the door.

"Look Spencer I know what you have been going through has been hard but imagine what Becky and I have gone through?"

"No, no you don't get to compare yourself to her. She's not holding it against me."

I don't know if I've ever been this angry at someone before.

"Wait this is all coming out wrong, I'm not saying what I mean."

"Then what do you mean Ashley? Are you done with me? Was this some sort of little game to you?"

She's looking at me like I've slapped her and tears spring into her eyes.

"So that's how you think I feel?"

"Well it seems to me like that's what's going on here?"

I can hear myself hurting her but I can't stop.

"Fuck you Spencer."

"Forget it Ashley. I realize that you wouldn't understand what I'm going through. You lead the perfect fucking life with all your money and fucking rich friends."

I hear the slap before I feel it. When I look back at her tears are pouring out of her face.

"I hate you."

Those were the last words she said to me. She walked out of my apartment and out of my life. Like I said it's been over a year and I can't forget her or what she said to me that night. I realize now that we both said things we didn't mean and maybe it was all my fault.

Now I sit here in New York holding onto a small, white invitation to Glen's wedding. I know I have to go but can I face the mistakes I've made? Will I be able to fix them or is it all too late?

**I know its short but that's the end of this story. The sequel is coming soon! My best friend is visiting this weekend so I don't know when I'll get the first chapter of the next story up. Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed this story. I'm so happy so many people read and enjoyed the story. Chapter inspired by the song Too Many Words by Sick Puppies. Great song you should all check it out! Peace and love!**


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